Unbeleivable

Unbelievable



I was sitting in my car this morning waiting on it to warm up and I noticed a weird button marked with a lightening bolt right under the steering column. Thinking this button would help my car defrost faster I hit it and was blinded with a great white flash blinded me as my eyes were clearing back up I was feeling a movement that felt like a boat rocking and seeing a light blue light.

When I could finally see again I seemed to be traveling down a tunnel made of stars or something, I was scared witless and not knowing what else to do I slammed on the brakes and was knocked out by the steering wheel when the car just stopped on a dime.

I woke up a few minutes later to a very loud thumping, I thought it was my own heart but then I looked outside of my windshield only to be greeted by a site straight out of an old movie I seemed to be on a steamship and the thumping sound was the paddles hitting the water I looked to the sides and noticed a bunch of men and women sitting there staring at me some seemed horrified some just seemed curious and were poking the smoking hood of my vehicle and one of them was even walking up to my window and knocking on it.

I quickly rolled it down for the fine dressed gentleman and asked “Who are you, where am I, and what the hell happened?” He answered in an English sounding accent:

“I am Professor Charles H. Johson, you are on the steamship H.M.S. Ringtail, and you just traveled through time via a device of my creation.”

“You created a time machine?”

“no, well it wasn’t supposed to be a time machine in the first place it was supposed to be a matter teleportation device but I miscalculated some of the stuff and my mistake created a time machine, I once decided it was too much for man to handle and destroyed it…..or at least I thought I did, I guess somehow all the parts ended up back together in this vehicle your in. It’s just coincidence that it was you who started it up and that you ended up on this ship with the creator of the machine.”


“This is all fascinating and such but I need to get back to my own time soon.”

“Ah yes just hit switch it into drive and hit that button again and then keep an eye own this right here-“ he points to the device that measures how many miles you’ve traveled which is now showing a display of eighteen ninety nine “and when it indicates to just a year before your own time slowly push the peddle on the left down until you reach the day which is showed by this display-“ he points to the speedometer” and push the peddle all the way down until you come to a stop and then wait for the flow of time to catch up and WAHLA! Your back in your own time to the second.”


I unintentionally went ahead and hit the button after buckling in this time of course and once again was blinded as I was flung forward in time when I hit the breaks when he had said to and looked out the windshield. Everything seemed to be flying forwards so I waited and watched as the world slowly came to a halt around me. When it all finally stopped I slowly stepped out of the car just in time to not get hit by the eighteen wheeler that came crashing through my time machine/car and obliterated it. I didn’t stop when the guy told me to I was in too much shock and just stumbled in the direction of my office slowly.

And now here I am Mr. Jameson and that is why I’m late for work.

“I don’t get it…if you just got in a car wreck why make up such a phony and horrible excuse and risk your job?”

“but sir! I’m not making this up!”

“you know you’re a horrible liar and a risk taker and……I like you though I should fire you I’m going to give you a promotion to our advertisement staff. Maybe we can use that story of yours for a commercial some time…”

“but sir!.....ah never mind I’ll take the job.”


And that’s how I wound up on the way to president of my company and how I ended up being the only one to know of my great journey through time and back. And the only people who know about it are me, my old boss, and the millions of people who watched the Super Bowl last year and saw our advertisement for the Super Scrubber the cloth that will even clean off prehistoric mud. And the only one who knows it’s true is me….and of course you Charles.