Out of Nowhere and Quite Astray

My room was dark and almost black,
as we stared out at the world.
With your arms wrapped around me,
I could think of nothing more.

Now somewhere underneath
my pulsing beats,
my soul can not be saved.
It is a dulling diluted gray.
The washed out streets of rainy days.

And all I know of this and that
is shadowed darkened hue.
And you
who kissed me on my lips
whispered,
“Don't you know I love you?”

My perfect love has come skidding to a halt,
and left me with the vestiges of the way you
held me.
Now instead of you,
my memories make
                      my heart keep                                     
                              THUDDING   
                                              when it
                                                        BEATS.                       
You were
                mine.
Only
                mine.

Its funny how grief hits.
I can't even begin to cry,
then comes the chilling blue.

And all that I remember,know, and knew
is the sky a monochrome darkened hue,
and you that rainy rainy day...

You went to our new window,
and opened our new blinds.
I heard you say,
"I love the rain."

                                                      Then out of nowhere
                                                                quite   

                                                                                                      a
                                                                                                      s
                                                                                                      t
                                                                                                      r                   
                                                                                                      a
                                                                                                      y,
Someone else's
                    bullet came.