All to Ash

All to Ash
I lost all feelings when my mom and dad passed away last year. Heartless, cold, angry, those are the emotions that I had. I wasn’t myself, not at all myself. The only relative I had left was my grandpa that had pretty much raised me that, and I hadn’t seen him since I was seven. The only problem I had was that he was living in Charleston. He was getting so old and he was the only person left to love in my family. I wondered around the house biting my short, brittle nails and twisting my short red hair in knots trying to decide when I would go. It was already late October and the year was almost over. I told myself I couldn’t think anymore I just had to do it. Leaving wasn’t so much my problem getting out was my problem and the fact that I had not seen my grandpa in years seemed like decades. What would he think? What would he say? Would he be happy? I had so much on my mind. I ran upstairs thinking that this is the most alive that I have felt in a long time. When I got to my room I picked up the phone and dialed my long time boyfriend, Gary. 555-5555, after it rang for several minutes it went to voice mail. “Hey baby it’s Kasey we are moving to Charleston!, Call me back as soon as you get this”. While packing my light blue teddy bear with pink hearts on it that my grandpa had given me many years ago I couldn’t help but think about all the years I missed. I would run wild in his fields, fishing in his pond, riding the tractor, all by his side. I had to sit. Tears started to fill my eyes. I heard the front door shut. “Kasey you here?” It was Gary. Before I could respond he came up to my bedroom. “You want to leave?” He asked. “I’m sure of it, papa is the only one in my family alive and I...I just have to be there”. I knew he didn’t want to do it, but he wanted to do it for me. “Okay give me a few hours we will leave at 1 a.m.” he said. Doing some thorough packing I eventually rounded everything together, and put it in the camaro. 1 A.M. came around and we left.
We didn’t talk much through the trip and I probably slept three fourths of the ride. I knew I was asleep but I smelt coffee and then I heard “Wake up beautiful,” it was Gary. “We are here,” he said. When I sat up and looked at the old rugged house tears began to flow. The house was wrecked! Everything was destroyed!. I opened the car door and ran to the front porch half the steps were already damaged. Something deep inside me told me that he was gone. I opened the front door and yelled “Papa, oh please papa!” No one answered. I started to feel light-headed and the room began to spin. After that it was all black. I fainted. “She will be alright she just needs a little rest and someone here for her” I heard the voice through my sleep. In what seemed like a few seconds, I awoke. “What time is it?” “Where are we?” “Is papa okay?” Gary spoke, but very calmly. “Your grandfather passed away I am very sorry”. I began to cry again. All I could say was “I had to have his house we need to go to the bank”. I have nothing else that’s all I could think. The only one left in my family, does everyone just leave me because I left them. At this point I could tell Gary was worried about me we usually had nonstop conversations now there was none. When we finally arrived at the bank I asked Gary to go in because I felt like if they told me I couldn’t get the house I would make a scene. I sat there looking at myself in the side mirror. Big brown eyes, short red hair, little lips and a little nose I couldn’t bare to look at myself anymore. Whenever I stared to long I would start to see my mother in me. After a few minutes Gary came back out I saw his blue-green eyes sparkle from a distance. “You got it!” he said when he opened the car door. I wrapped my arms around his neck and think about how now I had something to remind me of all the times me and papa spent. Gary started the car and before we got on the road he said “Don’t you want to know how you got it?” “Well yes of course I do, tell me” I said. “He left everything to you” he said. It felt like my heart skipped a beat. I couldn’t say a word all I could do was cry again.
It was about a 30 minute drive back to his house that’s why I couldn’t believe I feel asleep again. “Wake up baby”, “Wake up” he said. When I sat up I realized that Gary was sitting there looking at the house. I got out and walked over to him. As we approached the house, Gary looked to me and said, “baby, are you sure you want to do this?” I told him that it was and we got everything out of the car, and got it inside. I stood in the kitchen, looking down the long, dank hallway. I heard a voice, “Why?” It sounded distant, yet right next to me. I looked around frantically. “Gary! Was that you?” Cold forced itself over my body, I shivered. I felt really weird so I went into the next room with Gary. He stood there like he was in shock. “What is it Gary, are you okay?” He turned to me, his eyes as black as the inside of a coffin. His hands raised in the air, wind gusted around. I became terrified and wanted to run, but it was as though something held me in place. I heard doors close, windows clicking as if locked. Gary came closer to me and spoke, “Why? Why did you not come to see me for all these years! Now that you get an inheritance, you show your pretty little face. Weren’t the times we had well? Didn’t I do everything for you?” I stood there shocked, “Grandpa?” I asked. A smile creaked over what was once Gary’s face. “Yes it is me, and so long as you stay in my house one of you will perish.” “But grandpa, I came to visit you, and found out you had passed away. I didn’t come for the inheritance. I promise!” He shouted, “Do not lie to me! I will rip you from the seam of existence. I am greater now, than I ever was.” “Papa. What has happened to you?” I screamed, drowning in tears. Suddenly he grabbed me by the throat, slamming me into the wall. “One of you will die, and I will take him to hell with me!” I stared deep into those horrific black eyes, as his hands closed tighter and tighter around my throat; I began to succumb to darkness. “Gary, please. Don’t do this.” I felt his hands loosen from around my throat. The doors opened and I heard the click of what seemed like the windows had unlocked. All I could think was RUN! RUN!, so I did I ran as fast as I could trying to make it to the front door and out of it.
I heard Gary running after me yelling “Baby what happened what’s wrong stop please stop”. I didn’t know what to believe at this point so I keep running. I made it out the front door. When I looked behind me Gary was only a short distance from the door. I saw his blue-green eyes and knew that is was Gary again. Before he made it to the door it slammed. I tried opening the door, but it wouldn’t budge. I heard Gary scream, “Run! The gas line is busted. The house is going to blow up!” I was shocked I didn’t know what to do. I smelled smoke, but I didn’t see it. Gary was still inside! I had to get him out so I began to bang on the door. Kicking, punching, everything. I was going on pure adrenaline at this moment. I ran out to the car to grab my old softball bat. I figured I could do something with it, maybe bust out the window. I heard Gary scream, but I didn’t hear what he said. Then as I went to run to the house it burst into flames. Burning everything I had left. My clothes, my memories, my hope, my faith, my boyfriend, EVERYTHING turned to ash before me.