Monster

Everything is...blurry. I hear noises that sound far away yet keep getting closer and closer. Then the image comes into view and i see the noises are being made by a group of people. They are all applauding me, so many faces none of whom I know yet i feel such warmth for them...as if their faces bring me joy that they are here. The room is unrecognizable yet familiar, as if I have lived here for a while making it my home. The room is covered with balloons and streamers, but the colors are faded as if looking through a muddy lake. Everyone is holding up a glass of champagne. "To Nicole!" Says one of the faces in the crowd. "To Nicole!" they shout, as they raise there glasses. I smile grows across my face, I know i have done something to deserve this but I cant remember what...I feel a soft cold hand touch my right arm. I turn to look. It is a breathtakingly beautiful woman, who has a big smile, long dark hair, and again a face I know but cannot recognize. My body fills with such warmth, happiness, and love for this woman. As if we have been falling in love for years. "Congratulations baby." says the woman as she kisses my forehead. My stomach flutters at the feel of her soft lips and despite her cold touch it makes my body feels so warm. She pulls away and says "And I know your baby boy would be proud of you two." She takes my right hand and puts it on her belly which was rather swollen from the child...our child that grows inside her. I feel a tear drop run down my face warming the path it makes...why is everything so cold? It does not matter because there is no pain here, no suffering only happiness and love. The woman...my..wife...lets go at my hand and points up to my left. I turn and see a shelf and on top is a book sitting there almost glowing. The title says The Truth About Christianity By Nicole Janeway and on the cover in big print " New York Times Best Seller!". So that is what I did....I turn back to the crowd and to my wife and smile raising my glass with the others. The images fade away and then the sound goes too. Its quite and dark, but then from the darkness I hear a soft voice talking and slowly she comes into view laying next to me rubbing her belly. I cant seem to understand what she is saying, I am to distracted by this beautiful creature laying beside me...my wife carrying my future son. I look around at our apartment...yes I remember now our apartment we are happy here... It is dark now, silent too. The balloons and streamers are still everywhere along with dirty plates and champagne glasses. "We are going to have a hard time cleaning that up tomorrow." She whispers softly. "hmm...oh yes" I say...something doesn't feel right..as if eyes are watching me from the dark. "Come on baby," she says pulling me close "time for bed." I hold her close forgetting the feeling I just had and just wanting to hold her. I put one arm around her and have my hand rest on her stomach feeling our child moving inside his mother. Darkness...then a loud crash..I cant see anything I cant move...and then a scream... Its her she needs me! I most see what is happening! "NICOLE HELP US!" The images finally come into focus, I see my wife being dragged by...lions?! The door had been smashed to pieces and there on the floor three feet away two lions tearing her apart. She screaming so loud she is in so much pain I can feel it! "NO!" I scream. I jump up I don't know what I am going to do but I have to save them! I run forward screaming hoping to get there attention off of her even if just for a moment. Something bigger, bigger then the others runs out in front of me. I stop cold sweat running down my face along with tears of pain and frustration. The lion came to my waist is mane unkempt and mangled. I look down into its angry, hungry eyes as if daring me to take another step. "AHHHHH NICOLE WHERE ARE YOU! PLEASE!!" I look up seeing her fighting so hard to get away and loosing badly. The lion in front of me roars madly to get my attentions. I look at it...I know what is coming....what I am going to do... The lion ponces towards me his hungry jaws open for in want for some fresh meat..I have no choice I must run and leave them what good am I dead. I run into next room the lion's jaws barely missing my side. I run as fast as I can to the kitchen...I need a knife.. I can hear my wife still screaming but not as loud as before. I can also hear the monstrous banging of the beast's paws and it claws digging into the floor. I'm almost there... just a few more steps. "AHH!" The lion's jaws grabs my left arm and pushing me against the wall and wrestling me to the ground. As I hit the floor causeing loose objects to fall with me. The lion sinks it teeth deeper inside my flesh it so desperately wanted. I scream in pain as warm blood, my blood, goes everywhere. The lion rips and pulls in hopeing to tear my very arm from its sucket. Through my own screaming of agony I realize that my wife is no longer screaming...perhaps she got...but before I can think of anything else the lion goes to pull again. I grab is mane and hold on as he lifts me up and slams down on the floor making me loose my breath. Then I hear something...its sounds like a baby..screaming..and then as quickly as it came another noise took its place...i noise I cannot describe for I have never heard such a sickening noise in my inter life. Then nothing...what has happened? What was that? I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THIS THING AND FIND MY FAMILY! I look to my left there shining in the darkness is a knife its not big but I grab it anyway. I stab the beast over and over and over until it lets me go. It backs of giving me time to get up...I can't feel anything...I most find my family. The lion roars in anger. It rushes towards me and I run towards it. Its teeth miss me, but my knife does not miss him. I slam it into his neck warm, sticky blood rushes at my face spilling all over me. I just keep stabbing the creator until it is no longer moving. No time to stop and look at my kill, I must keep moving I most find my family. My gun...its here somewhere..I walk over to a wooden box and open it. There it is...only four bullets..that should be enough. I walk out to the bedroom shooting at one. they both come rushing at me I keep shooting at one of them, the smaller one. It falls over dead, but the other one is still coming I point my gun at it. 'Click' "NO!" 'click, click, click.' I'm out of bullets..WHAT DO I DO?! The knife I still have it and just like the other one get its neck and then slit its throat. I am soaked in blood and sweat. No time for that now where is my family? They must be outside. I start walking towards the door but step in something soft, something familiar. I look down. Tears start streaming down my face. No words can come out, I fall on my knees beside the mangled body of what was my wife. Her face frozen in a scream of pain and panic..her eyes open in terror. Her arms that were touching me so shortly ago gone devoured by the two beast. Her stomach ripped open by viscous claws and hungry jaws. And next to her lady a distorted piece of flesh of what was left overs of my unborn child. So much blood, but it doesn't look like blood it looks more like mud its so dark. I grab my wife and child's body close to me. I start to shack, tears still streaming down my face and a feeling, a pain that was boiling inside me. I screamed, I screamed in the pain of a thousand tortured souls. The sadness leaves me and rage enters. I softly put them back to the ground and walk outside still holding my knife. Outside the wind is whistling but I cannot feel it, I cant feel anything but pain and anger. Who could do this?! "You had this coming!" I turn. Its my neighbors, a married couple only a few years older then me. I can't say anything I just look at them dead inside. "You shouldn't have written such horrible things about Christianity." spoke the man again. "Yes," spoke his wife "You deserve it! And thank goodness that baby is with Jesus now!" Once again I feel my body shack. My anger is becoming so intense my eyes begin to hurt. I shout at them...no a roared like a monster and everything human in me dies away. I run towards them my knife high in the air. I grab the man first. I plucked out his eyes then slit his throat, blood once again flying in my face. His wife is screaming time to shot her up I stand up and like a zombie i just slit her throat and watch her struggle for oxygen. She is dead and I find satisfaction from there lifeless bodies. The images fade away into darkness..



I wake up gasping for air as if being held underwater for to long. Another night terror, the worst one in a while. I look down at my self. "Ahhhh!" I am covered in blood and my arm it hurts so bad. I freak out running towards the light switching. I flick it on with one quick motion. I look down once more, no more blood but the arm still hurts. I slide down the wall, cover my head with my arms, and start to cry...it was so...real. A hand touches my head. "Poor Nicole. So much pain. So much suffering. If only you would just admit what you really are." The voice was cold and sly. "Not you again. Go away. Leave me in peace please." "Now now," said the cold voice "is that anyway to talk to yourself." I look up seeing myself peering down at me. She is prettier then I am, her hair shorter and black, plus her eye were not blue but in fact black like coal. "Sweeney, leave me alone please! This one was different. I felt something other then just hate!" Sweeney smiles down at me, her smiled crooked and evil. "Aww well now Nicole you know its not real. You know someone like you could never find someone to love you." I stand up. "Fuck you." "Hahahaha!" Her laugh is cold it almost drops the temperature in the room. "Nicole you know I'm right. You know your place." "Yeah I know my place." Sweeney lays her head on my shoulder. "Good girl." I nudge her away, she just laughs her cold laugh again. "So if you can admit that you will never be loved then why can't you admit that I am you and you are me and that we are just on great big monster? Hmm. Miss. Nicole?" I have grown so tired of Sweeney, so tired of this ID as the therapist called it. Constantly reminding me of my evil even after I am reminded night after night. "Because I am not a monster Sweeney! Now leave me alone!" Me yelling at her just pisses her off. She get close, nose to nose, "You no what you are! Stop hiding from it! Let me in Nicole let me in!" I push her away and head to the light switch and turn it off. She disappears and I fall against the wall again. "Hahahahaha.....You can't just turn the lights off on me Nicole...I'm apart of you wither you admit or not. We are a monster it is what we are...you can't deny it much longer...Soon you will grow tired and you will let me in and Sweeney will make all those bad people go away..Just like you always wanted...Hahahaha..." I close my eyes trying to ignore her laughter and taunting. I start banging my head against the wall. "I'm not a monster....I'm not a monster.." Sweeney laughs louder and I start to cry again. "I'm not a monster...I'm not a monster.....I'm not a monster! I'm not a monster! I'M NOT A MONSTER!!"