Fear Itself

Opening my eyes I see only darkness. Closeness. Oppressive. The air is moist with my breath. I feel the panic begin to rise to my throat. Gulping air, breathing rapidly, I try to calm myself.

Closing my eyes again, I think on my day,  a day like any other. No difference. Don't even need to name the days anymore. Keeping my eyes closed, my breathing slows, and I picture in my mind, the sunny day.

Lunch at the same restaurant, have the same salad and iced tea. But this time, I see him. Extremely handsome, dark eyes, thick brows. His features seem chiseled from stone, high cheekbones, full lips, straight nose. His hair is black with true white at the temples. He watches me. I blush. No one has shown an interest in a very long time. Smiling weakly, I turn back to my salad and tea.

When next I glance his way, he's gone.

I feel  the goose flesh rise, and the panic in my chest, as my fear once again surfaces. My heart racing, racing, the sound thundering in my ears. Feels like it will burst through my breast, crashing  into...What?
Raising my hand slowly, afraid of just what I may touch, I find that a very short distance, no more than mere inches from my face, my hand contacts something solid. I begin to pound both hands, spreading them as far apart as I can, but it's not really very far apart at all. Coffin? Am I really in a coffin? How? When? Why?
Trying to calm myself again, to breath shallowly, breathe even less... I close my eyes and think.
The only thing different today, the man. Where had he gone?

Walking the short distance to my studio flat, thinking of what I may watch on tv, or maybe  rent a film, I vaguely hear footsteps behind me. Why didn't I turn around? To look? Would I have been afraid, if I had seen him?  A car horn sounds loudly, screeching tires on the street to my right. All seems chaotic.

My mind returns to the present... my heart begins hammering again, my breath comes in short panting spasms. Hurt. Ache. I begin to feel pain everywhere.
What's that? Did I hear something? A voice? Is someone close? A touch? What touched me? I begin to shake, my hips arch up, feels like my back will break.
Darkness again, fading, spots burst  before my eyelids.

Slowly, I open my eyes, someone  moaning, so loud in my ears. It's coming from me: I am so afraid! Where am I?

I close my eyes again, breathe deeply, I see my small apt, my two cats laying in the bright sunshine coming through the deck door. Everything seems normal. Serene. Now I find myself walking through the park by the pond. People pass by, no one notices me. Then the crashing blackness once more. I begin my pounding, but soon stop at the uselessness. I tell myself, breathe deeply.
Shuddering. Silence.
The silence is so loud it hurts.
My palms are sweaty. I feel perspiration on my back. My head throbs with impossible pain. With shaky hands, I feel above me, slower this time. Now it gives a little, not solid... what is this? I really don't know for certain. It feels gauzy, spongy.
I open my mouth to scream with all I am worth! The chilling sound echoes around, around, settling into the center of my forehead.
Where am I? Help me...

" She looks so peaceful."
Turning to the young nurse at his side, Dr. Larkin sadly replies " No one knows for certain what a person endures inside their coma."
"Will she be alright, do you think?"
"The driver who hit her has minor injuries, but I don't believe she will survive this ..."
                            I can't breathe!