July 15 journal reflection

What a day.Finally home and very tired.Reflecting on this day lets me know that I still need a lot of practice learning to control my temper, and here I thought I was doing such a great job.We have been living with family which has been a nice experience. But sometimes...as my step-dad would say I just wanna rip there heads off and spit down their neck.This has been good for me though.It really makes me think of some of the situations people are in and to not be so judgemental of others. So anyway when I find some time to be alone in the livingroom I really look forward to it. Yesterday just happen to be one of those days. So after doing the dishes I wanted to just get on the computer and make an hourly appointment calendar. Before I could finish the dishes my husband wanted me to come with him to help move some stuff out of the storage. I couldn't help him because the stuff was to heavy for me and it seemed to me there was absolutly no reason for me to be there. But I would have willingly gone along if I could have finished what I was doing. So that was my first tantrum. Then I got home and the computer would not work right and of course I didn't know how to fix the problem and the one who did was still moving stuff.That was my next tantrum, ending with me slamming the little table down a little to hard and breaking one of the three legs. So I carried the guilt trip I fed myself from that all the way through to this morning. I did work it out of my system by lunchtime while cleaning a house. I thought I was getting better at it, well I know I'm getting better but not so much. That's ok. Need more practice.