Shards of Glass

            We’ve all heard the old saying “life is unfair” but until a person actually experiences some sort of unjustness in their life, they cannot fully understand what that saying actually means. It’s a never ending cycle; “bad things happen to good people” and all that jazz. Sometimes out of the bad comes some sort of good or, at the very least, some sort of growth. It has been five and a half years and, while I have matured, I’m still not sure what good came out of what happened on that fateful day.



              March 19, 2001. The day started off as it should have; mom and dad both left before sunrise to go to their separate jobs. Normally I would have told them each “good bye” and “I love you” but, for some reason, I didn’t say either. I would later come to regret that but I had no idea at the time that watching my dad leave for work would be the last time I would ever see him again.



            That night was the closest thing to hell that I have ever been through. Seeing the look on my mom’s face when she told me and my sister that our daddy had died that afternoon remains burned into my memory forever. Those months that followed dragged on slowly yet at the same time flew by quickly. It was during that time that I realized my life would never be the same again. What I didn’t know at that time was whether or not I would be able to handle it. I received condolences from people that I hadn’t talked to in years as well as from those that I had never thought highly of. That made me feel worse in many ways but in the long run, I do believe, it helped me mature.



            The whole experience of losing someone so close to me is nothing I ever want to experience again, but it really made an impact on my life. I “grew up” so to speak, but I also learned not to always take life so seriously. My dad’s death made me realize the more important things in life and not to take those for granted: things like your family and friends and the time you spend with them. There are multiple times each week that I wonder why I didn’t spend more time with my dad, and I regret it every time the subject of him comes up. I didn’t get to know him as well as other people get to know their own dads and that saddens me. However, it has also helped me try to get to know my friends – and people that I’ve never really talked to before – a little bit better. The realization that you may never see them again on this earth is something of which I believe we all need to be aware.



            Losing my dad was like throwing a rock into a mirror. Before, everything was fine…at least it seemed that way. Once he died, however, the rock was flung. The shards of glass that lay scattered on the ground showed me who I really was. The jagged edges showed me areas of my life that I needed to improve. However, even though the mirror was broken, I could still see myself. Not as fully as before, but what I did see was even better…who I really was. In the nearly six years that he has been gone I’ve been faced with other difficulties and realizations of events that he will miss. Just to think about them really saddens me, but I know that I can get through them.



            “Life is unfair.” Whoever said that was a wise person. Yes, life is not fair but just because it isn’t doesn’t mean that you can’t turn and face it. Instead of just staying down when you fall, you must learn to jump back up and try again. Goodness didn’t come out of my dad’s death, only learning. Thanks to my dad, I learned about what the important things in life actually are.