The reason why I did what I did

Im anew time writer so sorry







They Question every time they



The smell of blood so pundit in my nose still the craving and the thinking

You need to be punished you did this it's all your fault no one reason it changes everyday insane outta your head you could scream what have they done to you the pain before you do it is so intense your shaking and crawling you feel like vomiting with disgust for yourself a quick Nick and you'll be ok just one more time you could jump out of your skin your hurting so bad they have killed your soul never to be the same again the people you love have hurt you the most you need to punish them for hurting you so badly but.



You grab the razor so scared .you know what's coming a wave of relief washes over you have given in.



You hear the skin ripping the blood rushes to release the bad it's all gone you can breath again the pain is gone you don't even feel what you just did you just feel relief.







That was how I was almost 2 years ago I eventually got caught cutting and it took me 2years to finally stop I became addicted to it I couldn't live without it it was how I survived.I still have slip ups .but the words I just wrote I could never say them out loud ,I have tried many times to but they just never come



When people see my scars today they all ask you would you do that how could you do that.I just smile and shake my head and shrug my shoulders because no one would understand the reason....



Why.