Loneliness

I am back on my own.
Wading through the loneliness
Worrying about the future.

Some nights seem unbearable.
Other nights I feel so content..
All nights, I wonder what my future will become.

A lot of nights, I can sit on my couch watching the tube comfortably.
Other nights I feel like the walls are closing in.
There is an uncertainty how any night will be.

The weekends are the worse.
When I am home, I wonder what I am missing.
I think of things I can do but something paralyzes me.

As I think of how the year-and a half has passed
I know I have come a long way in being comfortable with myself.
Because I remember how lonely I really was being married.

.