Longing for Lynn Departed

Longing for Lynn Departed






Charlie lay quietly staring up at the incandescent moon revolving on the third blade of his bedroom ceiling fan. With each revolution, he slowed his breathing a little more.

For weeks his mind had been pushing him to be more than he ever had been, more than just a shadowy nothingness who couldn’t be seen. This time, he would succeed in making an astral projection. He would take part of himself along. His spirit would travel so near the physical world it would seem to be real.

Breaths came so slow he no longer seemed to be breathing at all. At first he lost the sensation on the sheet that covered him, then the feeling of his pajamas against his skin.

He let the feeling of liberation rise up his body, toes, calves, fingertips, arms, neck, ears, eyes and finally to his scalp. Slowly and completely he had been released from his body.

He had done projections many times. At first he did mental provocations which had allowed him to remotely view many places over the last year. He started by seeing his house from the top of his neighbors roof. He went farther, then farther still, until he sent himself to far away places in India, Tibet, China, London, and even Eyer's Rock in Australia. When he would wake up he couldn’t be sure if he had really gone anywhere, or merely fashioned dreams of those places from accounts he had read and pictures he has seen.

When he couldn’t shake the idea that what he thought was remote viewing wasn’t real, he decided that he needed to master real astral projection. At first he was afraid. He had read horror stories about what had happened to people who were caught outside their bodies or about others who’s bodies had died while they were out. They had become
disembodied spirits doomed to roam the world, trapped in half lives, unable to communicate with the living.

It had taken months to work up the courage to try it. Even then he would attempted to go to some other room in his own house. The basement was his favorite target.

It took dozens of failures before he succeeded. That first night that it worked he watched the second half of Monday Night Football. He was so into the game he didn’t notice his mother enter the room.

When she crossed in front of him to switch the TV, he couldn’t move. She turned and faced the couch. She didn’t see him. He felt his heart restart. He was back in his real body and drenched in sweat. It was only when he read an account of the game in the morning paper that he was sure it hadn’t been a dream.

Weeks passed before he got up enough courage to do it again. This time he projected himself outside, onto his front porch. He sat there for hours, just watching the neighborhood. Mr. Myers walked by at eleven thirty. He looked at the porch swing where

Charlie was setting, but he didn’t see Charlie. Cars went by. He saw their headlights passed right through his body. Finally Charlie got up enough courage to walk around the block. He passed people. Cars drove by. Not a single person saw him.

He wanted to tell someone what he could do, but he knew that only ones who wouldn’t think he wasn’t psychotic would be the crowd who sat by themselves in the far corner of the lunchroom talking to each other in Klingon.

That’s what had lead Charlie to the decision to attempt true etheric projection. If he could do it, he would seem as real as ever to the people he met. He would show them what he could do. That was better than trying to convince them hadn’t simply lost his mind.

His main worry it trying it was that he would end up somewhere in his pajamas or with nothing on at all.

So, for a week he did nothing. Than on the night of June first he let go of the fears and decided to at last make an attempt. He lay in bed trying to make his mind blank. He concentrated on projecting himself onto his front porch. Only seconds after he had begun however, he felt himself thinking of Lynn Smith. He could see her street, her house. The very house he had walked by everyday after school for two months. He imagined her standing on the front porch waving and smiling at him.

He had to stop himself. What was he thinking? Did he have to imagine having cloths on like he had imagined himself floating back into his bedroom? Even if he wouldn’t succeeded in true etheric projection and was just an unseen something, he couldn’t go
strolling around in front of her house naked.

His eyes shot open. His mind was racing, pulse pounding. Why hadn’t he ever checked to see if he was wearing cloths when he projected? It was no use trying again now.

He rolled over, pounded his pillow a few times and shut his eyes. Tonight he would settle for a dream about her.

It was several days before Charlie tried again. By then he had convinced himself he would have noticed if he had been naked when he projected. He would try projecting to his front yard. This time he was able to relax and blank out everything until he successfully projected, well almost everything. At the last instant the vision of Lynn’s house took over his mind.

He heard a dog barking in the distance. Oh God! He forced himself to look down. He wasn't naked. He could breath.

“What are you doing here, Charlie?”

He froze. Lynn could see him. Where was she? He couldn’t answer, he couldn’t even look to see where she was.

‘It’s OK, Charlie. I know what your doing. I just wanted to know why?”

“I’m not a pervert!” Why had he said such a dumb thing? He felt shame welling up in him. What did she think he was doing?

He thought her heard her sniffling. “Are you OK?”

He heard a very soft, “No.”

“I’ve seen you walking by my house before.” Her voice was thick with tears.

“I . . .ah. I’m sorry if I’ve creeped you out. I’ll just go back home.”

“Please don’t go.”

He didn’t move.

“You didn’t walk this time though.”

“What?”

“Tonight, you didn’t walk over here tonight, did you?”

“I ah . . .”

“It’s OK. I didn’t walk out here either.”

He turned around. Lynn was sitting at the base of the maple tree that grew between her front walk and the street. She had her knees drawn up under chin and she was hugging her legs. Her eyes were big, and blue and he could see the tree right threw her. She was wearing long baby blue pajamas, with kittens all over them.

“I’m hiding the real me out here.” She nodded in the direction of her house. “I can’t be in there with my body right now. I can’t.” Clear tears slid down her transparent face.

Charlie knelt beside her. He wanted to put his arm around her, but he knew his arms would pass right through her. “How did you learn to do it? It took me ages of practice.”

“I don’t know even what it is exactly?”

“It’s called astral projection. I read about it in a book in the library. I practiced for months before I could do it, even for a few minutes.”

“I didn’t know that’s what it’s called. I didn’t practice at all. I can't stay in my body when . . . She sobbed and buried her face in her knees. “I have to get out.”

Charlie moved closer. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I can’t. You’ll hate me.”

“No I won’t.” Charlie waited for her crying to lessen. “Maybe I can help”

“You can’t help. Nobody can.”

“Please look at me.”

Slowly Lynn lifted her head. Her eyes were merely shadows but they were clear enough for Charlie to see the redness, to see the tears still streaming down her swollen, transparent face.

“How many people do you know who can astral project themselves onto your front lawn in the middle of the night?”

Through tears she smiled slightly. “Only one.”

“So may be I can help. Please let me try.”

“Ok, but not here. Not now.”

“When?”

“I’ll meet you tomorrow in the library down town.” She wiped her eyes on her

sleeve. “Do you ever go to the research section?”

Charlie nodded.

“There in a little study room just to the right of the elevators.”

“I know the one.”

“ I’m so tired. It’s OK now. I have to get back into my body. I’ll see you tomorrow about four.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

She was gone.

Charlie felt the cold night air. He didn’t want to let himself think of what Lynn was going through. He willed himself back home. Back into himself.

**********************************

At four twenty six, Charlie fidgeted in his seat. He looked through the book on the Myans for the third time. He got up and looked out the slot of glass into the parking lot. It was after five and Lynn wasn’t there. He opened the door and wandered out into the library. She wasn’t anywhere in sight. He checked the stacks. He checked the stairs. He
went down to the fiction section. Finally he went outside and set on the front steps for another half hour. He had to leave. His Mom would be wondering where he was.

On Monday he caught Lynn as they were leaving homeroom for math class. “Are you OK?”

“I can’t talk now.” She hurried after her friend Sue.

It went like that all day. Every time he tried to talk to her she made some excuse.

She wouldn’t even look him in the eye. He needed some advice.

After dinner that night he casually wandered into his older sister’s room. “What are you doing?”

Alice looked up from her laptop. “Climbing Mount Everest.” Sarcasm, her favorite way of answering him.

“Could I ask you a question?”

“I don’t speak twerp.”

Charlie exhaled. “I’m serious. I have a problem.”

“Let me guess. You forgot how to tie your shoes.”

He grabbed her shoulder. She pulled away. “Can’t you see I’m busy.”

“It’s about this girl, Lynn.”

She turned away from her computer screen. “You know a girl?”

“Please, Alice. She has a real problem.”

When she saw his expression she stifled her impulse to hit him with more sarcasm. “Ok. What gives?”

He drew in a big breath. Then slowly at first, he started to explain everything. As he got nearer to the part about astral projection to Lynn’s house he sped up. By the time he got to the part about what Lynn said his speech was nearly incomprehensible.

Alice laughed. “I thought you were serious. Astral projection. Do yourself a favor, never tell anyone else what you just told me.” She returned to her computer.

That night he projected into his sister’s room. She was asleep. He shook her by the

shoulder. “Mmmm,” she said, and she turned over.

“Come on Alice. Wake up!”

She opened one eye. “Go away!”

“I’m am away. I’m in bed right now.”

“You’re nuts.”

“Maybe, but I am also in my room in bed.” He leaned to within inches of her face. “I dare you to go look!”

She covered her nose. “Your breath would gag a maggot.”

He just smiled, and breathed in her face.

“OK, creep. I’ll bite.”

“She got out of bed. “Let’s go see just how crazy really you are.”

“I’ll stay here. See you when you get back.”

In a few minutes a very pale Alice walked back into her room. “You really can do, what ever you said it was.”

“It’s called etheric projection. And yes I can do it. I’m going over to Lynn’s and we’ll talk when I get back.” He lowered his voice. “OK?”

Alice nodded yes.

In a little less that two hours Charlie was back. He knocked on Alice’s door. When

she let him im he was paler that Alice had been when she saw her brother’s body in his bed, knowing he was also back in her room. “Did you find out what is going on?”

Charlie nodded.

“Well?”

At first Charlie stumbled over his words. “She was in bed and . . . I felt like a perv watching her. She . . . uh had on the same pajamas as she had before and . . ah. . . ,” he swallowed, “ I hid behind her closet door when her step dad came in. I thought he was just going to just say good night. But . . .he uh . . . “ Charlie stopped. There was a quiver in his voice.

Alice put his hand on her shoulder. “He wasn’t there to say good night was he?”

Charlie shook his head no.

“What did he do Charlie. You’ve got to tell me. This could be bad. Is it bad?”

He nodded again. “He sat down on the bed beside her. He reached out and touched her cheek with the back of his hand. He was smiling. I knew what he was going to do and I knew I couldn’t stop him. Besides she had her eyes closed tight and I knew she was already gone. I couldn’t bear seeing any more, so I willed myself trough the wall and out onto the lawn.”

“When I got outside she was setting under the tree in her front yard crying. She said she was ashamed because I saw what was happening. She kept saying it was all her fault. I tried to talk her out of that idea but I couldn’t. I wanted her to tell her mom, but she said she couldn’t. I begged her to tell the cops. She said she couldn’t do that either. She said her step dad would leave her mom. They wouldn’t have any money. Then she said was safe to go back in and she was too ashamed to talk to me. Then she was gone.”

“What are we going to do Charlie? We can’t let this go on.”

“I don’t know. When she is normal she won’t even talk to me.”

“Would she talk to me?”

“You would do that?”

“Yes!”

After a lot of trying, Alice got Lynn to talk to her. Months went by before Alice got her to go with her to the school nurse. Things seemed to spiral out of control. Lynn’s step dad got arrested. Her mom blamed her and Charlie. Her step dad moved out, and Lynn’s mom lost her house. Lynn wouldn’t talk to Charlie . A few weeks later, they moved into a tiny apartment across town, and Lynn transferred to a new school.

Charlie had walked around Lynn’s house nearly everyday since she left school. He knew he wouldn’t see her there but he couldn’t help hoping that she would drop by one last time to pick up something she had forgotten. He had even transported there a few times.

He would sit under the tree where he saw her that night. He would bring his knees up under his chin and hug his legs. He wanted to bring her back, but he never could.

Charlie didn’t try transporting to places he read about in the books he borrowed from the library. As the summer wore on, he even lost interest in reading about them. He rarely left the house, and he never went over to see his friends anymore or called them on the phone. By August he had withdrawn almost completely from the outside world.

Sometimes he wished he had never interfered, never asked his sister to help Lynn. It was at those times, he ended up feeling worse.

A week before school was to start he was sitting on his front porch. The musky smell

of fresh cut grass filled the air, but no longer made him feel happy. A single gray cloud drifted across the sun. Charlie watched it’s shadow creep toward him.

His sister had gotten her driver’s license two weeks before, so she was spending a lot of time riding around town with her friends. Things had even changed with her. She hardly used sarcasm on Charlie anymore.

She pulled up to the curb in front of their house. Charlie glanced up as the shadow engulfed him. His sister was wearing the sunglasses he used to tell her made her look like a demented beetle.

She walked over and sat down next to Charlie. “I saw Lynn downtown.”

He looked at her.

“She waved. She even smiled a little.” She cocked her head and looked into her brother’s

eyes. “You did the right thing.”

“I know, It’s just . . . “

“Yeah. I know.” Want to go for a ride? I’ll get us some ice-cream.”

Charlie nodded.