Baking for Jake

Carrie hadn't seen her brother Jake in five months. They'd never gotten along, even after they both grew up. She was too high strung, and he was always the funny guy. So for the sake of both of their sanity, they decided to see as little of each other as possible.

         Jake's birthday was coming up, though, and Carrie wanted to send him something, making up for the fact that she refused to go to his party. The last time she went to a birthday party, everyone was drunk and acting like everything under the sun was hilarious. She immediately knew that she should send him some sort of dessert.

         Jake had always been chubby as a child, as opposed to Carrie's ruleresque figure, and as an adult had grown quite large due to his love of food.

         Eventually, she decided on banana bread with chocolate chips and started to work. And it was work. She couldn't find her masher, and had to mash three cups of banana with a fork.

         "Why am I doing all this for him?" she thought. "What has he ever done for me? He's never sent me a birthday present." Then she remembered. He had sent her a birthday present once before. A snake. Remembering this made her even more angry, and she started thinking about how she could take her vengeance. She'd already started the bread, so she didn't want to buy him a rat or any other live thing. Then it came to her.

         It started off with putting a tablespoon of salt in instead of a teaspoon. Then it evolved into something much more than that. She channeled her fury into her cooking. Baking powder instead of baking soda. Any herb or spice she could find in  her cupboard. Then shampoo. Nair. Coffee grinds. All were added to her unusual, grotesque batter. She popped it in the oven with a sense of satisfaction.

         When it was done an hour later, a disgusting smell had filled the house. She knew the bread wouldn't smell very odd once it cooled, but at the moment a burning soapy smell surrounded her. She let the bread cool outside, hoping flies landed all over it. She then wrapped it in tissue paper, and tenderly tied a red bow on it. Carrie placed the bread in a shipping box and got one of her little greeting cards. In it, she wrote,

"Dear Jake,

Sorry I can't come over. I baked some of your favorite banana bread. Happy birthday!

Love,

Carrie"

         She mailed it, and hoped that Jake loved his banana bread as much as she had adored her snake.