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Rated: 13+ · Article · Comedy · #1680450
I get irritated. That's an intangible emotion. I write. It becomes tangible.
I might sometimes suggest I have a problem with this country, but really I just find it subtly entertaining. I mean really? It's not like I check on these things, but it's probably a safe all-in wager that the ratings for the news stations covering the political debates were probably stomped by some sort of Jessica Simpson reality show. We can now give up on the "some children in Africa would love to eat your brussel sprouts" guilt trip, and trade in for a new age term of "I bet those kids buried in the Middle East thought they'd skip out on George Bush's political campaign speeches much like you're skipping out on Obama's huh?" Obesity statistics say that wasted food is a lot cheaper than future gastric by-pass, and the children in Haiti would probably laugh at your brussel sprouts and run over to finish their medium rare steak very eloquently prepared by the first lady's first chef.
But the disconcerting issue to me is that people think this is a horrible country to live in. Yes, I've heard the rumors of economy just collapsing and nuclear missiles firing and "one of em Korea places I fogit wich one of ems enslavin usall" as well as all that other great gossip slob we've created.
Well if we really did believe any of that shit was going to happen - not to mention the 2012 phenomenon - then 1. why don't we just live it up for however long we have left? 2. Really? 3. What can we do about any of it? 4. Could underground bomb shelters really make a difference? 5. And if so aren't there plenty? 6. With enough canned goods to last for the years it takes to rebuild the world? 7. And if not could we not just sacrifice the lives of the fattest survivors in our particular clan to the nourishment of the people who don't have a high risk of heart disease and no medical treatment who will be the first to die anyways?
Answers to the above numbered questions:
1. Can't see why not.
2. Really.
3. Nothing I can think of, I like my original plan: live it up.
4. Haven't really looked into it, ask someone who actually knows about a fraction of the shit they talk about.
5. If not report to your nearest paranoid redneck-ville just ask your GPS.
6. Seems unlikely but the hicks seem to think so.
7. Isn't that what they did on the Oregon Trail? Desperate times call for Desperate measures. Don't knock it till you try it.
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