Brother

They have to be joking;
What the hell are they smoking?
You’re still alive.
You’ll always survive.
You’ll always be here.
You’ll always be near.
You killed your demon.
Now you’re a freeman.
You are not dead.
Your life, you had fled.

This stopped being funny,
Life’s no longer sunny.
Why the fuck did you leave?
I’m too pissed to grieve.
What the hell were you thinking?
Why the fuck were you drinking?
What made you drive high?
Did you want to die?
Were you tired of living?
I can’t be forgiving.
You left me, with no warning,
And now I’m stuck mourning.

Why won’t you come back?
My life is now black.
I’ll do whatever you please;
I’ll beg on my knees.
I’ll worship our “heavenly father”
Even if it happens to be a bother.
It’s worth it to me,
If you, I will see.
Just please leave your heavenly seat.
Just this once, death, we can cheat.
He won’t mind!
Besides, death is blind.

I haven’t slept in 6 days;
My life has become a drunken haze.
Please, kill me, let me be free;
Let me once again be me.
Not this hollow shell,
Not stuck in this hell.
I could drink some cyanide,
Or use carbon monoxide;
Go in my garage, turn my car on,
Sit there and wait for dawn.
I could take a shower.
With electrical power.
If I cease to exist,
These feelings will not be missed.

Well, brother, it’s been a year
And although I still wish you were here.
I can not shed another tear.
I understand now that you’re still near.
As much as I miss seeing you,
I need to stop being blue.
You’re gone, I’m sad,
You’re dead, I was mad.
I will miss you until I cease to be.
But when I do I’ll be filled with glee.
Not sorrow, not sadness,
Not anger, not madness.
I’ll be nervous,
Anxious.
But I’ll be happy as well.
Because once I say my earthly farewell,
I’ll get to see you once more.
My brother whom I adore.