Helen Droves

Helen Droves

IT was a cold and dreary day in Flankston, Missouri. We just came home from burying our grandmother. She had recently died of a heart attack. I had lived with her for the past 5 years. My dad was in jail for life for killing my mom. I miss my Granny very much. I wish she was still here with me. I am 13 years old and feel like an only child since my brother is so much older than me. He left home when I was 5 so I don’t know him very well.



My brother, David, is 26 years old and still single. He is very smart. He graduated last year with a Masters in Business. He is also very handsome and athletic. He currently works as a banker and plays basket ball at the local rec center.



Since Granny died, I had to move back in with David. He had taken up residence in my parents house after Daddy went to jail.



David parked his Jeep under the carport and we both went inside the house. We took off our raincoats and I silently put them away. David was hungry so I offered to make him a sandwich. We had a large meat and cheese tray from some of my grandma's friends. I haven’t eaten in two days. I just can’t bring myself to eat. After serving David his sandwich, I went to my bedroom and cried. David started to drink. The more I cried, the more he drank. Eventually he passed out and I fell asleep.



The next morning David woke me and he took me to school on his way to work. The day was beautiful with a crisp cool breeze blowing, but my heart was dismal. I was called up to the office where the office attendant requested an excuse for my absences over the last three days. I told her that my granny had died and I was at her funeral. She said,” I’m sorry dear, but I have to have that in writing.”  I told her I would get a note from my brother since he was the only family I had left.



There was a little brat in the office with us and he started making fun of me for being orphaned. Those words stung my heart and I could not hold back the anger. I walked over to that kid and knocked him right out of his chair. As he fell and begin to cry, the attendant grabbed me by the arm and lead me into the principal’s office. She told the principal that I had been fighting and he suspended me. I tried to explain but he would not listen. He just instructed me to call my parents to come and get me.



"I don't have any parents," I cried.



Well, who is your guardian?



My brother, David.



Well, call him to come and get you.



I called the bank and asked for David. He said he was very busy and asked what I wanted. I told him that he had to come to the school and get me. He started cussing at me and slammed the phone down.



About 20 minutes later he came into the principal’s office. He looked so sharp in his suit and tie. He had on a Rolex watch and expensive shoes. I smiled at him timidly. He spoke to the principal briefly then came out and told me to follow him. We got in the Jeep and drove home. I started to tell him what happened, but he told me to shut up.



After we got into the house, he closed the door behind us. He grabbed me by my collar and brought me up close to his face. He yelled, “Girl, I had better not have to leave my job again because of you!”  He slammed me into the wall and continued yelling, “I am a very busy man and I don’t have time to go driving around town to get you. I am your guardian now and you better obey me.” He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. I cowered. He lowered his hand and pointed his finger in my face screaming, “You will obey me Is that clear?”  I replied very softly, “Yes”. He grabbed me up by the hair and pulled my face close to his. “The answer is ‘yes sir’ do you understand me?”  “Yes, sir,” I whispered.



When he let me go, he said, “Get me a cold beer and make some dinner.”



  “Okay,” I said. All of a sudden, quick as a flash he backhanded me so hard I fell to the floor. He knelt down placing his knee on my chest; his weight crushing me and screamed, “What did I just tell you the proper answer to me was?” With a trembling voice I replied, “Yes, sir.”  “Say it again!” he screamed.

“Yes, sir.”

“Again!”

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you think you can remember it this time or do I need to beat it into your thick skull!”



“No, sir, Please  sir” My voice trailed off as I could not breath against his weight. David stood up and I gasped for breath while slowly slinking away.



I went to the refrigerator and withdrew a cold beer, popped the top, and with hands trembling handed it to him. I could not believe what had just happened but I decided to just obey him and hope things got better with time.



I cooked some eggs and toast, put it on a plate and called out softly, “David, I have some food ready.” He told me to bring it to him in the den. I quickly and quietly obeyed. He smiled and said, “Thank you.” I turned and went to my room once again crying myself to sleep.



The next morning David woke me, announced that he was going to play golf, and instructed me to clean the house while he was gone. I just sat silently and nodded my head. After David left I put on some music and started to clean my room. After a while, I heard a knock on the door. I went to answer it and was surprised to see my friend Karen. I was so excited to see her. She came in and we played some games. After a couple of hours, she left and I started to clean the den. I had just finished when I heard David’s Jeep pull up.



When he came in the door, he announced, “Fix me some lunch.”  “Yes, sir.” I replied softly, “Is spaghetti okay with you, David?”





“Yes,” he answered as he walked into what used to be my mom and dad’s room. David has taken that room over. I almost had the spaghetti ready when David called for me. I dutifully went to his room where he began questioning me. “What have you been doing for the last four hours?” I could tell he was irritated.



“I cleaned my room and cleaned the den like you told me to, sir.”



  “Why have you not cleaned my bedroom and bathroom?” he demanded.



I told him that I had planned to do it right after lunch. He walked over to his closet and opened the door. Hoping he was finished with me I turned to leave. “Don’t you dare move,” he bellowed. I froze and watched him take a leather belt from his closet. Fear gripped me as he approached.

“David, please, please don’t whip me.”



Tears began to roll down my cheeks.



“When I say clean the house, I mean all of it!” He started whipping me. The belt stung my legs and back. I held on as long as I could, but the stripes were hard to take. I broke down and cried out, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Please stop.” But there was no letup.



“David, please, I’ll obey you, sir, please stop, sir, please.”



Finally, he stopped whipping me. The tears were flowing down my cheeks uncontrollably, and I could hardly catch my breath. David grabbed my head and pulled my face close to his. “You will serve me and you will obey my every command. You will do it out of respect or out of fear. Either way, you will obey me. Is that clear?”



“Yes, sir,” I cried. My legs stung badly, but I was afraid to move.



“Get your ass in there and finish my lunch” he screamed.



I ran to the kitchen and began serving his plate. I rubbed my legs with one hand as I used the other to serve his food. He sat down at the table and pointed for me to join him. I served my plate, but I could not eat. I got him a drink and placed it before him and then I sat down again.  I could not look him in the eyes. I was afraid to speak and afraid to move. As he ate he lectured me about how I would respect him, how I would obey him. I just nodded and softly replied, “Yes, sir.” Tears rolled down my cheeks and I was scared. I just cast my eyes down upon my plate and repeated, “Yes, sir.”



I knew that my life had changed forever. I have no grandma to comfort me, no mama to love me and no daddy to protect me. All I have now is this man twice my age who towers over me and I must obey his every word.



After dinner I cleaned his bathroom, polished his shoes, and although I was exhausted, I cleaned the kitchen. Afterward, I went to my room and cried myself to sleep.



Before I knew it the sun was up and a new day had started. I got dressed for school choosing blue jeans to cover the marks on my legs. Before long it was time to leave. I was afraid to go near David but I had to get in his Jeep with him. I did not say a word nor did I look at him. The ride to school was only ten minutes, but it seemed like an hour. Finally, we arrived. As I was getting out of the truck David said that he wanted a steak and baked potato for dinner. It was all I could do to look up when I answered, "yes sir". He could see the fear in my face and he gloated.



I could not keep my mind on my classes. I just kept wondering if David would find another reason to hit me when we got home. School was a long day.



After walking home, I immediately began fixing dinner. I wanted it to be ready when he walked in the door. I decided that I would try my best to not make him angry. As soon as David walked in, I offered him a bottle of Bud, sort of like a peace offering. He took it and smiled then went into his room to change.



Shortly he returned and sat down at the table.I served his plate and quietly sat down. He began to eat. Suddenly, he slammed his fist down on the table. I jumped and he laughed. I wanted to cry, but held back the tears. When he finished eating, he went to watch TV. Every once in a while he would yell at me to bring him another beer. I would quickly give it to him and return to cleaning the kitchen.



The next day a was a Saturday. David was off from work. I made him some coffee and bagels for breakfast. Afterword he left to play a round of golf with his friends. I was relieved to be alone.



I decided to do some laundry. I had never done it before, but I had to do it because there was no one else to do it for me. I put some clothes in the washer and washed them. When they were finished I put them in the dryer. After drying them I was going to hang them up and I saw pink smudges on one of David's white work shirts. I started to tremble when I thought of what he was going to do to me when he found out. I decided to hide it in the trashcan and hope he never saw it.



I heard the door bell ring and went to answer it. It was my dear friend Karen. I was so happy to see her again. We played some games and she asked me why I had been avoiding her lately. I had not realized that I had, but after thinking about it I realized that I had not spoken to her at school, in fact, I haven't spoken to anyone at school. I apologized to her and told her how much I appreciated her friendship.



Suddenly, I heard David's truck pull up. I jumped up and told Karen that she must leave. She looked confused and asked why. All I could do is say, "Karen. please, please leave before David sees you. She went out the front door as David came in the back. He seemed to be in a foul mood. I went in my room and shut the door.



Sunday came and went without a problem. I fixed all three meals and served David politely. I tried to avoid him except those times we ate. I stayed in my room most of the day except for an afternoon walk.



Monday morning rolled around and David woke me up. As I was getting his breakfast ready, he came in the kitchen and asked me if I had seen his white shirt. I replied, "No, sir".



I left it in the laundry, you washed, didn't you?



Yes, sir, but I did not see your shirt, sir.



"Fuck", he said as he turned and went back into his room.



He came back with a blue shirt on and sat down at the table to eat his breakfast. I was scared he would find out I lied, but I must have did a good job of hiding my fear as he never mentioned the shirt again. He dropped me off at school and told me to cut the grass after I got home.



I met karen in the lunchroom. I sat beside her and said I was glad to see her. She huffed at me and said she did not understand why I ran her out of the house. I apologized for that and tried to explain to her that David was angry about having to take care of me and he had been mean to me. I told her that I was afraid of what he might do if he saw her there with out me getting permission from him. She didn't really understand what I meant, and said sarcastically, "yea, right". I changed the subject.



When I got home from school, I went to the wood shed and pulled out the old mower. I put gas in it and checked the oil. When I tried to start it, it wouldn't start. I tried and tried, but could not get it to crank. I went back inside tired and sweaty. I worked on my homework and fixed dinner.



When David came in I greeted him with a smile and said, "Hello". As he walked by, he grabbed me by the hair and pulled me into the bathroom. There he struck my face with the backside of his hand. I fell backward, he grabbed me and struck me again with an open hand. I fell on the floor and David started to kick me. He kicked me in the stomach, ribs and arms.



I scrunched up in a ball and cried out, "David, please, stop, David, please, I'm sorry, whatever I did, I'm sorry, Sir, please stop.



" He grabbed me up and slammed my head into the wall, I got dizzy and would have fell except David pinned me against the wall. He put his hand on my throat and screamed, "you tell me why, you did not cut the grass"!



I tried to answer, but he was choking me. The tears streamed down my face and I gave David a pleading look. He let me go and I slumped to the floor. I was caughing and gasping for breath.



David began to unbukle his belt. As soon and I could breath, I cried out, "Please David, I beg you, please don't hit me. I couldn't crank the mower. I swear to god, David, please." David slowly pulled his belt from the belt loops. I got on my knees before him, "I was not trying to disobey you, Sir, please have mercy on me."

He snapped the belt. Trembling with fear I continued to plead with him, "Please don't whip me, David, please, Sir. I'm begging you."



He turned and stomped out. I just laid there in the floor for awhile unable to move or stop shaking. After a few minutes, he screamed for me to come and get his dinner.



I ran into the kitchen and got a beer out of the refrigerator, popped the top and placed it on the table before him. Then I ran to the stove put spagetti on his plate and with trembling hands placed it on the table. I got the bowl of salad out and his favorite dressing and placed them on the table. David yelled, "Get me a fucking fork you stupid, Bitch." I grabbed a fork and placed it on a napkin and laid it before him.



I went into my room and waited for him to finish eating. I didn't leave my room until he finished and started to watch TV. I went to clean the kitchen. As soon as I finished the dishes, David got up and told me to follow him outside. I immediately obeyed. He cranked the mower and went back inside. I  didn't come back in the house until I had finished the lawn and put the mower away.



The next day at school, I wore sunglasses to cover my blackeye, but my split lip was still swollen. When I saw Karen she came over and asked me what happened. I lifted the sunglasses enough for her to see my eyes and then quickly put them back down. She gasped and asked, "Did David do that?" I nodded.