A Day with an Addict (working title)

The sun was setting as he sat on the warm sand, feeling the cool ocean breeze on his face. This was where he has always wanted to be. This was the place he could go to rid of all his worries, and of all his pain. The sun was nearly beyond the ocean as he decided and with the orange glow in his face, he decided to close eyes and lay back into the sand. As he fell he continued to fall much further than expected. As he opened his eyes everything around him was gone. He was continuing to fall and still could not see his surroundings as if his eyes were still closed. He started hearing a loud buzzing noise off into the distance, and the more he fell the louder it got. The noise was coming from above him but the deeper he went the louder the buzzing got. The noise got to a point where he feared blood was dripping from his ears, and he finally landed hard onto a soft surface. He sat up quick and looked around and realized that special place of his was still in his dreams.

He looked to the right at his nightstand and hit the snooze button on his alarm clock. The sun was not up yet and his room was dark. His room was dark all the time even with the sun shining through the blinds it was still hard to see. He stared at the wall across from his bed which was littered with dark posters except for the poster in the center which was his special place. It was a view of a beach with a single palm tree and a view that he had only dreamed of. The stinging pain came back to his stomach as he tried to roll out of bed. His whole body ached as he tried to make it out of his room and to the bathroom. He finally reached the bathroom after moving at a snail pace, and the pain and aches became too much. He vomited into toilet that still needed to be cleaned. His body squeezed his stomach more, even though had nothing more to produce since he had not eaten the night before. This was just another regular morning for Carlos. He stood up and started to clean himself up as best he could.
He heard a door open from down the hallway. It had to be his roommate Mike.
“Are you alright in there?” Mike’s voice came from beyond the door.
“I’m fine. It’s just the stomach flu,” he replied while looking into the mirror. All color was gone from his face and the bags under his eyes were growing bigger.
“It’s been month’s now, man.” You could hear the disappointment in Mike’s voice since it was obvious Carlos was lying.

He looked down and spit the vomit taste into the sink. He had lost around 20 pounds and looked malnourished. Every morning he looked at himself in the mirror and would ask himself the same question. “What happened?” This question had many answers. The answer he was looking for was never about the night before or even how he made it to bed, although he could never recall those as well. When he asked himself this question, he hoped to see an answer somewhere in his face. Somewhere in the last two years where he had made the decision that would ruin his life.

He waited until he could hear Mike walk down the stairs and decided it was time to get ready for work. He crawled his way over the trash that looked to have been thrown throughout his room. He sat on his bed and grabbed what he needed to get ready. Carlos was a substance abuser for over two years now. He had not had a normal morning in over a year. He had cycled through numerous types of drugs but had been stuck on with heroin for just over a year. He knew he had a problem but would never use the word addiction. It was as though it was not in his vocabulary. Someone would say he had a problem and he would agree. When they called it addiction he would just shake his head, look away, and act as if he didn’t here what they said.

With his spoon in hand he continued to stare at his reflection. The spoon was no longer shiny and had a burned residue in it but he was still able to see his reflection. He put in a few drops of water from a water bottle he had next to him and was still able to see some type of reflection in the spoon. He opened the small bag and dropped the contents into the water. As it started to mix the water grew darker and his reflection was disappearing. He held a lighter to the bottom of the spoon and sparked it. As the spoon heated the dissolved solution was now a dark brown color. With his reflection gone he was now looking at what he felt was his new reflection. That darkness was how he felt at all times. No matter how many rays of the sun hit his face, he felt like there was a giant cloud over his head.

He loaded up the syringe and was ready. He continued to stab the pin cushion of an arm as he searched for a vein. Every attempt led him to a miss. He was growing impatient as he looked at the clock. He gave a final attempt and once again missed. He let out a frustrated sigh and shot the syringe. As he pulled the needle out he felt the small pain as it left a bump and felt as if he had just been stung by a bee. The area was red and was burning under the skin. He pushed the bump in as he once again looked at the clock. He knew the burning wouldn’t last too long as this wasn’t the only time he got fed up and just shot it into his arm. He was aggravated that he was unable to find a vein only for the fact that it meant a longer wait for the high.

The Sun was finally rising and he was now ready for work. He put on the same pair of jeans he had worn all week and grabbed a shirt off the couch across from the bed. He sat down on the couch as it started to sink in. Although it was tempting he could not take another sick day at work for they were already suspicious. He decided to suck it up and would try to make it a through a full day. He stumbled down the stairs and through the living room to the kitchen. Mike was sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal. He took one look at Carlos and then back to the bowl.
“I really think we need to talk.” Mike said as he continued to stare at his cereal.
“Sounds good, but I’m running late for work. We’ll talk when I get home.” Carlos replied as he nearly fell over trying to put on his shoes.
He got his shoes on and scurried out the door before Mike could say anything in reply. He had avoided another dreaded talk. It was always the same topic. Mike would always ask what is really going on and remind him that he is there for him if he needs any help of wants to talk. Carlos would always have the same reply to the fact that nothing was wrong and he did not need to talk about anything.
The drive to work was a short boring trip with not much to enjoy about it. He drove a 96’ gold Saturn had terrible brakes. He would always have to take it easy as he drove staying a distance from the vehicle in front. He worked as a title of “Sales Associate” at a failing retail chain that was the equivalence to a poor man’s Wal-mart. He pulled into the parking lot and stared at the BARRY’S sign that had the S hanging upside down. He was still feeling content with his high as he clocked in and put his vest on. He felt lucky that he was part of this local failing business due to the fact that it didn’t require much from him. Few people came in to shop so really the only thing he had to do was to make sure everything was clean. He walked out to the front of the store and noticed no one was there as always.
His manager, Jim, was sitting at the front waiting for Carlos. “Late again?”
“Yeah. Sorry. I slept through my alarm again.” Carlos replied.
“It’s alright. It’s not like it has been busy this morning. Can you help me put these boxes on this cart so I can transfer them back to the warehouse?”

The boxes were full of store shelving units that had been disassembled. The store was almost empty of merchandise and the plans were to close the store by the end of the month. He loaded only ten boxes that weighed barely sixty pounds each. This was a simple task for him around a year ago but since he had been using, it had been harder from him to lift. As he loaded up the last box he sat down and was dripping sweet. He decided to walk outside into the cool morning air to stop the sweat. He sat for five minutes but the sweat kept dripping down. A cool breeze hit his face and he became nauseated. He ran back inside and down the aisle to the back of the store. He made it into the men’s bathroom before finally vomiting into the toilet. He stood still hovering over the toilet trying to catch his breath. He walked out and standing outside of the stall was Jim.
“You okay?” Jim asked sincerely concerned.
“Yeah I’m fine. I tried to cook up some seafood last night and I don’t think I cooked everything through.” Carlos replied. He had become good at think of lies and excuses to try to cover up his drug abuse.
“Well try to be more careful. Or maybe you should just stick to ordering pizza.” Jim replied trying to somehow bring humor to the situation. “You can have the day off to get better. It’s not like we really need you today.”
“Thanks. I’m sorry again.” They both walked out together, Carlos heading to clock out, and Jim heading back to the front.
“Feel better okay.” Jim Shouted.
Carlos grabbed his keys and threw off the vest. He clocked out and was ready to go home. The high had already faded when he vomited. He decided to make one last trip to the bathroom before the left. He had a small amount of powder that he brought with him to try to help him make it through the day. He went back into the stall and snorted it as quick as he could, fearing that someone may walk in. As he started walking out of the store the calming warmth came over his body.
He woke up on the couch in the living room with the T.V. on. He must have passed out there when he got home.