Painless Tax

“This is Cal Reeser live from Capitol Hill where police from three states had to be called in to control crowds following the latest government budget announcement. As you know,  health care and budget deficits have been on the minds of everyone since the latest recession figures were announced. It appears our country’s leaders have found a way to improve both situations but their solution was not well received.” Cal turned from the camera and looked over his left shoulder where figures in dark clothing could be seen scurrying between vehicles, flames and plumes of black smoke. He had to yell to be heard above the wail of sirens, screams of pain and crashing of breaking glass. He turned back to the camera and much of America.

“All this coming quickly after the Painless Tax announcement. It is hard to believe that such a gentle name could inspire violence and mayhem. Here are the facts as I understand them.” Cal ducked as a garbage can flew toward him. The image on the camera wavered, the pavement became visible and then Cal was re-centred in the shot as the cameraman dodged out of the way of the garbage can and the man and riot control officer who followed it.

“Are we on?” Cal could be heard asking as he cocked his head to one side, hand to his ear, listening. “OK good, as I was saying, thirty minutes ago House Speaker John Doughman announced the Painless Tax. It is reasoned that government expenditures in health care have resulted in significant improvements in health and quality of life for many citizens. In order to ensure these new initiatives are adequately funded, those who are benefiting the most from the health care system will be expected to support it. For every pain-free day an American experiences, a .008 percent tax will be applied based on their gross annual income. Pain-free will be determined by a lack of prescribed medications by Doctors. No prescription medicine required on a day, you get taxed. This has not been well received and this reporter believes there will be a lot of people not paying this tax based on the responses by both sides to the crowd control. This is Cal Reeser on Capitol Hill...I need an aspirin!”

The TV camera tilted a bit to one side but remained on. “Cal, aspirin isn’t a prescription medicine!”

“Well, at least this is better than last year’s new Stupid Tax to help cover the costs of stupid things that people do. I wonder if any politicians will find their tax bill higher this year as a result of this?”

The camera image fades to black.