The Journey - Chapter 1

Chapter One

Lara didn’t want to go back.  There were countless negative thoughts clouding her mind.  So many bad things … bitter memories.  After-thoughts that are better left behind.  But the late afternoon found her driving her black sedan on the familiar streets of her hometown on the far south of the big city.  And she’s half blaming her self for letting her decide on the last minute to go back and visit Christine.

Ah!  Christine …

How old is she now?  Lara made a quick computation on her mind.  She’s now thirty-two so that would make her younger sister twenty-eight.  Well, old enough to settle down and have a family to call her own.

“I’m getting married next month!  I’d like you to meet Lewis over dinner tomorrow.  Call back as soon as you receive this message, okay.  ‘Love to see you soon.  ‘Miss you.”

Lara could still recall the message on her answering machine.  She memorized it word for word for she played the tape back a dozen times.  And she still couldn’t believe that her sister had called.  When was the last time she heard her voice?  That sweet and excited voice?  Ten years ago?  Was is that long?

At that moment she felt the familiar pain emerging from her heart.  She thought she lost it already.  But last night, when she heard Christine’s voice, the pain resurfaced anew.

No, she hadn’t lost it nor did it die.  She just buried it deep down … way deep down.  And now like water from falls, the pain kept of flowing through her mind, her heart, her entire being.

Suddenly, it was hard to breathe.  She took a deep breath but it was no use.  Lara turned off the air condition and opened up her windows.  Now she’s thankful for the gush of wind that entered into her nostrils.  At last she can breathe freely.

She came to a road intersection but no need for her to decide which way to go.  She automatically tuned the steering wheel to the right.  And as she came near their house she felt the pain again.  The agony caused by all the bitter memories of the past … of her life.

Lara’s memories took her back ten years ago when she excitedly told Christine the good news.  EXCELTRON, INT’L. hired her to be their Junior Executive on
Research & Development in their New York Headquarters.

“I’m going to New York!”

Those words blurted out of her mouth as soon as she finished explaining everything to her sister.  She expected Christine’s arms to fly and hug her and tell her how happy she was for her big sister.  But Lara was puzzled by the look on her kid sister’s face.

“Oh, no!  Lara, don’t tell me you’re gonna leave here all alone.  Please don’t leave me here.  There maybe other choices for you.  Some alternatives.  Just don’t go and leave me here all alone,” Christine pleaded with her.

“Oh Christine, you’ll never be alone.  Mom and Dad are here.”  When Christine’s look didn’t change, she added, “Come on!  This is a big break for me.  I’m gonna make it big, I mean really big there in New York.  I’ve dreamt of this moment all my life!”

“Yeah right!  I’m gonna be left here all alone feeling lonely while my big sister who has is all will go and conquer the world!”  Christine was screaming now.  Lara was taken aback for a while.

“Hey look, it’s not like that.  I never wanted to leave you here.  You know how much I care about you.”

“No I don’t!  All you ever care about is yourself.  You’re selfish and self-centered and …”

Christine never had the chance to finish what she’s about to say.  Lara’s hand flew and slap across her left cheek.  Lara could still see the look in Christine’s face …

Shock.
Turned to hatred.
Then anguish.

Lara couldn’t contain herself anymore.  She could read her sister very clearly now.  Christine wanted her to stay because she’s envious of her.  She doesn’t want her to take the offer, she never wanted her to have the big break.

“You’re the one who’s selfish and self-centered.  And you’re more than that.  You’re jealous and envious of my success!”

“You’re the one who’s envious of me,” Christine retorted.

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s true!  You hated me when we were kids.”

“Hey!  Where is this coming from?”

“My recital, remember?  Mom and Dad were supposed to come.  It was the biggest moment of my life.  And what did you do?  You ruined everything!  Messed everything up!  Oh no, poor Lara had to be take to the hospital,” Christine recounted.

“What?” cried the astounded Lara.  “I was sick!”

“You had to be sick!”

Lara nodded in defiance.  “Yeah, like I could schedule the virus that attacked me to have the chicken pox.  Gosh Christine, are you even listening to yourself?” came her come-back, insulting her sister.

Christine was silent for a moment, but she wouldn’t give in.  Not now, not ever.  “You hated me.  You’ve always hated me,” she whispered gravely.

Lara shook her head.  “No, Christine.  I don’t hate you.  You’re my sister.  But sometimes you could be so …”

Christine stared at her angrily.  “What?  I could be so what?”

Lara’s patience left her.  She got so irritated with Christine that she bites back.  “You could be such a baby sometimes.  And you always have to get your way.  You’re inconsiderate of other people’s feelings.  And frankly sis, sometimes you’re such a bitch!”

Christine’s face paled then fell.  She bent her head too low that Lara thought she was crying.  But when she lifted her head up and stared at her sister with blood shot eyes, Lara knew she was still indignant.

“How could you!  I hate you!”

Those were Christine’s last words.  She never spoke to her again.  Lara left home a week after the incident.  She stayed in the big city for a month before flying to New York.  For seven straight years she never came back.  Never had to.  She just called and wrote to her parents but not to Christine.  Just some cards occasionally.  She didn’t steer back.  Didn’t have to.  Until a couple of years ago.  Something happened that forced her to return.

“Mom and Dad had an accident.  You have to come home.”

Shock filled her after Lara read the telegram from Christine.  She packed her bag as quickly as possible and went straight to the airport.  But it all came too late.  Time was against her.  She never had the chance to talk to her parents.  Never had the chance to see them alive.

With all the things to be arranged for their parents’ funeral, Lara didn’t get the chance to talk to her sister about what took place between them seven long years ago.  She felt that Christine was avoiding her.  And maybe she was avoiding her as well.  It was just too soon … or was it too late?

Lara left after the funeral and flew back to New York.  Last year her company sent her back here to head their office in the big city.  And even though she’s back, she didn’t even bothered to visit her sister.

Honk!  Honk!

The startled Lara looked at her rearview mirror to see what’s eating the driver behind her.  The guy is screaming wildly pointing at the traffic lights.  Lara looked and saw the green light on.  Immediately she released the brakes and stepped on the accelerator.

So that’s what’s bothering the poor guy.  Lara had to laugh despite herself.  Suddenly, she realized the plight she’s in.

“Oh no!  What on earth am I doing here?”  she mumbled to herself.  “Do I really want to see her after all?  Do I really want to meet her boyfriend?  Who knows what his name is … Lou?  Louie?  Lewis?  That’s right. Lewis.  I mean … here I am having uncertain thoughts about my relationship with my sister a few minutes before I meet her and her future husband!  I don’t have the right attitude.  Gosh!  I don’t even have a gift.  Damn it!”  Lara swore to herself.

“What did she say?  ‘Love to see you soon?’  How can I say back those lines?  I mean, I can’t even say ‘It’s good to see you sis’ with a straight face.”

Lara caved in to contemplation.  “I don’t have to do this … I don’t need to do this!  I have to go back now before it’s too late.  I never called Christine about coming over today anyway.  I’ll just pretend I didn’t receive her message.  Right.  Okay.  That’s right Lara … that’s the right thing to do,” she commanded herself.

She now looked at her right side to find a decent place to park for a while, take a deep breath, and head back to the city.  She came to a gasoline station and a memory came back on her mind, though not bitter this time.  It was a funny one.

… to be continued.