Karma, The Short Story

Karma

The Short Story Version

By Diane Doherty

January 2010

A year changes many things and many people. I did begin to talk to some of the kids in my class, but I never did meet that one true friend my dad always talked about. Billy Hamilton, the biggest bully in my class didn't change much. He was still calling me nigger and dirty pig. I wondered if he would ever change? Could he ever be a nice person? My brother and sister, Lucy and David had graduated from elementary school and had gone on to high school. Liam and Katie "my younger siblings" started at West Park Public School. I would go see them in their classes at lunch just like Lucy had done with me when I was little. Sitting at my desk, I would look out the window often and watch the wind blow the dry and crunchy coloured leaves from the trees, stripping them naked for the winter snow. I would lose myself in the changing of the seasons. It was so beautiful to watch. I waited quietly in my seat for the teacher to start her class for the day. A knock came at the door; it was Mr. Grimes, our Principal. He stood there waiting to talk to my teacher and with him stood a little black girl. Her eyes were dark, and her skin was even darker than mine was. She looked around at all the kids in the room and then put her head down almost as if she were scared to enter the room. She seemed so scared or shy. I just sat and watched her and the grownups just like the rest of the class. Then she was taken to the front of the class by the teacher and introduced to everyone. "This is our new student Allison James”, our grade 2 teacher Ms. Small called out. “She is new to the area, and to the school, and I would like to see our class make her feel welcome”. “Can we all say good morning to Allison”? “Good Morning Allison”, the class repeated. I smiled wide at her to make her feel welcomed. I was determined to make friends with Allison, and I hoped right away that we would be friends foreverand ever.

Not just because we were both the same colour, but I needed a friend, and I knew my classmates were not very welcoming if the truth were told. The whispers started almost right away before Allison could get to her new seat. It was like kindergarten again, but this time I was not the target. Allison kept her head down and took her seat two rows over towards the back of the room. I could see her from my desk. I kept peaking over at her, thinking about how I could get a chance to talk to her. At morning recess, all the kids ran out to the yard to make sure they got their full 15 minutes of free time. As usual, I stayed behind to help the teacher and I noticed that Allison had done the same. Ms. Small asked if Allison would like to help me with some special jobs during recess. I was happy when she agreed. Allison and I sat at the round table and began to work on cutting out shapes Ms. Small needed for art class. “What is your name”? Allison asked me. Her voice was very low and cracking. “Karma”, I replied. “Oh!... that’s a weird name”, she said in a whisper. Great, I thought here we go again, someone else to make fun of me. “Hmmm, well I don’t think it’s that weird”, I started, “my Momma believes in karma as a rule in, life and she always says that everyone should have a little karma in their lives”. “It’s weird”, she started again, “but I like it.” Allison added. Then she smiled a big toothy grin that took up her whole mouth. I noticed right away that her teeth sparkled.

“Thanks, I like it too”, I replied. “So where did you move from”, I asked. “Toronto, have you ever been there?” “No,” I quickly replied. “What was it like?” “It is the same as any big city really, lots of tall buildings and stores, and many cars. Too many for my Momma. She hated things being so busy, especially after my Daddy left. That’s when she became scared of things in the city and wanted to move somewhere quieter. That’s what she told me anyway. In some ways I miss it, there was so much action going on, so much to look at right outside my front door. But I think that’s what got Momma all freaked out, so here we are in the suburbs.” “Do you miss your friends?” “Oh ya, I do, but Momma says I’ll meet new ones. I guess maybe you could say you’re my first new friend Karma.” “Do you want to be friends?” Allison asked. This was the first time anyone asked ME to be their friend. I was so excited, I wanted to jump at the chance to say yes. But I didn’t want to look silly. So I choked out a cool sounding, “ya sure Allison”. “Call me Ally", she said, “I like Ally better”. In my head I was spinning, that is it! I did it. I made a friend, and we would be true friends forever, I just knew it.

Ally had come from a big city, where people of different colour and religions in school were common. She was not used to being bullied, as was the case for me at West Park Elementary. The bullies who loved to take daily pokes at me decided to start on Ally since she was now my friend. She didn’t deal with it in the same way I did. She was always thinking of ways to get back at those bullies. She realized very quickly that she had to be sneaky because her plans could very quickly turn on her if the bullies had the chance. So Ally waited until it was the best time for pay back as she called it. She didn’t have to wait long, but this time Ally was careful. She planned the best time and place for her payback, and I was happy to be a part of it. “Those boys wouldn't know what hit them, and it would teach them a big lesson”, Ally would say. “But the timing had to be just right”. Days passed, and those kids continued to call me names like Niger and dirty pig. Billy Hamilton would get away with throwing mud balls and calling me names. The teacher out in the yard would just turn her back. I know she saw what he did, but I also knew she would do nothing about it. So I didn’t get sad because I knew what was coming their way. All their name calling and mud balls didn't hurt that bad, knowing that. I knew that one day, they would learn how it would feel to hurt inside. The same way I felt every day when I had to listen to their name calling.

Days turned to weeks and I wondered when Ally was going to put her plan in motion, or at least when I could hear about all the details of the plan. All she would tell me was she was "working it out" and that “it would be good”. As it turns out the boys were the least of our worries. Mrs Chapman was back in our lives again and she was making things miserable for us. She started as our substitute teacher while Mrs. Small was away sick. Mrs. Chapman was watching me and Ally like a hawk, everything we did that was wrong in her eyes. We were punished for it. One day after recess was over I was one of the last ones to come into class after getting my boots off in the hall, I straightened my boots and all of them looked lined up nicely. Mrs Chapman came in to class after all the students. She stood in the doorway, and called me to the back of the class. She looked so angry and I didn’t understand why but then again there really didn't need to be a reason for her to be angry with me. "Karma did you do this?” She asked as she pointed to the boots kicked all over the hall. "No! Mrs Chapman”, I stuttered. “Really Karma", "I find that hard to believe" "Who else would do such a thing, you know how I pride my class on neatness. Who was it then”? She glared at me. “I don't know,” I relied. “Well Karma I know it was you and for that, you must be punished. Go to time out”. “The time out, Mrs Chapman”? “Yes Karma Now”! “I don't like the site of you”. As she opened the door to the storage closet, which was very tall but shallow in depth she pushed me inside and shut the door. As the door closed, I could see Ally looking at me as Mrs Chapman put me in what she called the time out. I had no idea how long I had to be in there or if I could open the door to ask a question. What if I had to pee? I thought. Oh please God, don't let me have to go pee, ran through my mind. I leaned against the closet wall and began to slide down to the floor. I sat down and wrapped my arms around my knees. I rested my head down on top of my knees and waited. I didn’t think Mrs. Chapman would make me stay in here for very long, but then again I never knew what she would do. I just knew she hated me and I knew she didn’t like Ally either. I closed my eyes and remembered the words my Momma would tell me. It helped me to feel stronger when I went to school each morning. She would tell me to, “Stand tall, keep my head up high and be proud of who I am”. Sometimes she would tell me “she knew when she adopted me that my life would be harder than most others would be. I guessed it was because I was black baby adopted into an all white family. But living with my family was never hard. Even though my parents had five of their own children and only adopted two and I was the only black child. My my parents never treated me any different. The colour of my skin never seemed to matter at home or our church. Although, many people at my church stared at me and my family while we where sitting in the pews. I guess some people still are not use to seeing me with my family. Hum, well I know they love me and that is all that matters.
My chin rested on my knee and I was sure only a few minutes passed but it had been hours when Mrs. Chapman finally opened the closet door. I had to squint from the light because it was so bright it was shinning in my eyes. I could not get focus of the room at first. I think I must have fallen asleep. I'm not sure, but I do know that all the kids in my class were again watching me be let out. “Have you learned your lesson girl”? Mrs Chapman bellowed at me. I couldn't answer; I was confused and felt a little sleepy. “Girl!, you listening to me”?, she continued. “I hope you learned your lesson child”. “Now get out there and clean up the mess you left in the hallway”. Mrs. Chapman grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the closet. I was blinded by the bright lights of the classroom and all I could hear was the beginning laughter of the kids in my class as I was taken out to the hall. I stood in the hall just outside the classroom door trying to get myself together. As I looked down at the mess of boots on the floor I was horrified to notice that I had pee’d all over myself while I was in the time out. That is why they were laughing, I realized. All I could do was fall to my knees and cry. I wanted my Momma, I wanted to go home, I wanted to run away and that's what I did. I got to my feet and looked down the hall I saw no one so I ran to the end. Then I turned and ran down the stairs and out the north doors of the school and just kept running. I didn't even feel the cold air tickle my skin as I ran home. I didn’t live far from school. Walking it would take me 15 minutes but running I could do it in five. I ran up the front steps of the porch to my house hoping to just push the door and have it fly open. All I wanted to do was fall into my mother’s arms and cry the rest of my tears out, but the door didn’t move. I turned the knob. It was locked, Locked? Where is Momma? The car is gone! Oh, know she isn’t home and I haven’t got a key. Could this day get any worse?, I thought. I sat down on the step and waited. Momma couldn’t be long I thought, she must be home soon but it was getting really cold out and I didn’t have my coat. I pulled my arms up into the sleeves of my shirt to keep warm and I curled up into a ball and just sat there waiting, thinking about what could be going on at school and whatMrs. Chapman would do to me when I go back. Would she put me in the time out again? I wondered if our principal Mr. Grimes knew about Mrs. Chapman’s time out. With my head down between my knees, I shivered and waited for my mother to come home. I just wanted her to know all about what happened to me today and tell her I just can’t go back to that class. I don’t want to go back to that class ever again! I bet all the kids are still laughing at me and making fun of me. Why do they hate me? What did I ever do to them? Why can’t they just leave me alone?, was all I could think of over and over again until I heard the rush of the van engine pull into the driveway. I peaked my eyes out to see my mom rushing towards me. “Karma? Karma! , what are you doing here”? “Why are you not in school””? Oh God, you’re freezing”!
“Oh dear”, I heard my Momma say, as she wrapped her arms around me. I could feel the warmth of her coat against my skin, but my insides were frozen solid. I couldn’t even move. I tried to huddled within myself to stay warm.. I couldn’t even feel the cold by the time my Momma got home. My Momma picked me up and carried me inside, wrapping me in a warm blanket. Then she was gone . All I could do was shiver, and shiver. When Momma came back, she had the twins Liam and Katie with her and they were carrying the groceries in side from the car to the kitchen. All I could do was watch. “Mom why is Karma home”? Katie asked. She looked very puzzled. I guess she was confused because I had been crying and I was outside in the cold with no coat. Even though my skin colour is a light brown shade after being out in the cold for so long without a coat, you could see the white shades forming on my arms and my cheeks. Mom just shooed the twins away to play and before I knew it, she was sitting beside me with a hot cup of cocoa. “Oh Momma”, I cried and once the tears started they wouldn’t stop. No matter how hard I tried. “Karma”, my Momma kept saying over and over until I looked up at her. “It’s ok now you're home, just tell me what happened”? “Why are you home”? Momma looked very concerned as I sipped my cocoa and began to tell her the story of my day. Going through some parts of the story I could see my mother’s expressions change from concern to anger to bewilderment and then finally to being confused. She looked as confused as I felt. Through sobs and sips, I told Momma everything and threw it all the phone didn’t ring once. The school didn’t even know I was gone, I thought. When Momma finally called to speak to the principal Mr. Grimes. I heard her ask him if he knew I was missing from school, and my Momma was mad I could hear it in her voice. It wasn’t often my mother got mad but when she did holy cow watch out. We would all run and hide. I could see Momma getting angrier on the phone as she talked to Mr Grimes. “It’s her fault”?! I heard my Momma say. “What”? “You can’t be serious”? “Do you realize what happened to Karma in the classroom”? There was a long silence. “You’ve got to be kidding me Mr. Grimes”. “You’re telling me that Karma is lying and that my 8 year old daughter left school in the cold without a coat just to cause trouble for you and Mrs. Chapman”? “Really”? “Is that what you are saying Mr. Grimes”? “I can’t believe what I am hearing, my momma continued”. “Did you ask the other students in the class to see it any of this was true”? “And why not”? She continued. “Oh, I see, ah huh”. My mother listened I assumed to what Mr. Grimes was saying on the other end until she said. “Thank you for your time Mr. Grimes I will keep Karma at home instead of you making her serve a detention at school”. “However, I would like to request that punishment for her running away not continue at school, her father and I will see to it”. I looked at my mother, confused. What just happened? Was I getting in trouble now? And for what?, I thought as I hung my head down low. Momma got off the phone and was mumbling something under her breath that I couldn’t hear. I was ready for the punishment whatever it was going to be. I knew Mr. Grimes was right. I shouldn’t have left the school. That was wrong. But I just wanted to get away from there and I wanted to be at home where I knew I was safe and no one could get me. My mother sat down beside me and all she said was “it’s going to be alright now Karma, I have talked to Mr. Grimes and you’re going to stay home for a day or so before you go back”. “Think of it as a break and a time to think of what you could have done differently”. “Or maybe what you would do differently next time something like this happens”. Next time, was all I could think. I didn’t want a next time ever again. “Why do I get to stay home Momma”? I saw this as more of a gift than anything else. “Mr. Grimes thought it might be best to keep you home for a day or two until you feel better and are ready to go back”. “Oh, am I in trouble”? “I heard you say I would have a detention at school”. “Was that for running away and not telling anyone”? I continued to push. “Well yes, Karma, I said that to Mr. Grimes because I could tell it was important to him that you learn a lesson here, and that running away was wrong”. “You need to stay a deal with your problems, stand tall and be strong against the odds so to speak”. “How could I stand tall, be strong against them, all twenty-four of them laughing at me." “Pointing and laughing”, I tried to explain to my mother. As the visions filled, my mind and the bright blurry lights filled the memory in my eyes. That vision remained, all twenty-four kids in my class laughing, pointing, and enjoying the funny site of me. All except for...... at that moment I remembered Ally’s face clear as day. She was sitting the closest to me when I came out of the closet and now I could remember her face clear as day, the tears running down her cheeks and the redness in her eyes. I realized right then, that she had been crying the whole time I was in the closet. She was locked in there with me even though she was on the outside of the closet door. At that moment, I knew I had to go back. Not for me, but for Ally. She needed me and I needed her. We had to be together and face all this ugliness. We had to try to figure out why there is so much hurt and pain. I realized at that moment that this would be a burden I would have to carry my entire life, even though I prayed that time would change people and people would change the world’s way of thinking. I knew it would still take a long time. As I sat drinking my cocoa, looking out the front window I knew, I had to toughen up and that the world was not a friendly place. I had to figure this out and hold on to my only friend who knew exactly how I felt. Because she felt it too.
Over time things did change, but at a snail’s pace. For the most part kids like Billy Hamilton left me alone. Unless they were bored or needed to show off to their friends and show how tough they were. Second term was long and cold, but Ally and I had each other. If there wasn’t an opportunity for us to stay inside to help a teacher or work in the library during recess we would go outside and just walk around together. As long as we had each other, we were OK. On those days when Ally was sick and away from school, it was very scary for me, as I am sure it was for her when I was not at school. I tried not to miss very many days. I knew how important it was for us to stick together. Winter seemed long. It seemed as if it would never end at times. I had forgotten all about the pay back scheme Ally wanted to do to those bullies earlier in the year but she didn’t. She was still planning, I just didn’t know it. Ally had been planning something and it had to do with the doors of the school locking once they shut. Even if the students are out at recess. If the bell rang or a student needed to get inside the supervising teacher would have to unlock the doors. This particular day Ally and I were out in the schoolyard wondering around just chatting about this and that when out of the blue, Ally started to tell me about how she had come up with the perfect plan to teach those bullies a good lesson in how to treat people. As she explained her plan, I looked around to see if I could find the kids we were talking about. Then I spotted them on the north side of the building. They were far from the doors of the school. As Ally continued, I realized this just might work, but we will have to be quick and the timing will have to be perfect. All the other kids will have to be inside before they get to the doors. “How do you plan to get those bullies away from the door”? I questioned. “Oh I got it covered” Ally began to explain. “I asked Danny Ferguson to go up to them just before the bell and tell them that Mrs. Chapman needs them to check around the outside of the school for a shovel left out by the janitor, and when they come back to the doors, they will be locked out”. “Why would Danny Ferguson help us”? I wondered out loud. “He doesn’t like us and he never plays with us”. “I know, but he hates the way those kids pick on us and treat us so mean”. He wants to get back at them too”. “For what”? I couldn’t help asking. Just as Ally finished explaining, I noticed that Danny was walking over to the bully kids and I said to Ally, “it’s time, let’s go”. Ally and I ran to the door knowing the bell was going to ring at any minute. Our time was running out to pull this off. Sure enough, the bullies went around back of the building and Danny came running in the school doors behind all the other kids. He began to yell, “shut the door SHUT the door”! Ally did just that, with a slam! I ran down the hall to the South entrance to make sure that the door was shut and locked. And it was. For some reason it didn’t seem to take long for all the kids to get inside at the end of that recess and get to class. Maybe the bullies were taking their time getting around back to the north side. Ally and I ran to class knowing we couldn’t be late. We got to our classroom door just in time, took off our boots and went inside. I was out of breath and feeling confident that finally those bad kids will know how it feels to be left out in the cold. I look over at Ally but she had no expression on her face. Actually, she looked terrified. I stopped smiling then and wondered if there was something Ally knew that I didn’t. We sat at our desks waiting for Mrs. Chapman our supply teacher. Mrs Small was still away, she must have been very sick because she has been away for a month or two now. I really want her back. She was so nice to me. I wondered if she will ever come back, and just then, I got a sour feeling in the pit of my stomach. What if Mrs Chapman is our teacher for the rest of the year! Oh, god! Was all that came to my mind. I wanted to be sick right then and there. The thought of Mrs. Chapman’s evil eyes watching my every move waiting for me to do something wrong or just something she didn’t like. Then I’d have to go into, the time out as she called it. Every time she would put Ally or I in there she would say that she couldn’t stand the sight of us. One day while I was not in, the time out and I realized that none of the other children in the class ever used the time out for a time out. If another student misbehaved and Mrs. Chapman wanted to punish them, she just sent them out to the hall. She never said anything to them in front of the class. But that didn’t happen often. It was mostly Ally and I that got the blame for anything that went wrong in our class. Well, I wasn’t going to give her the chance to put me in the time out. I was gonna try to be as good as gold. As I was looking straight ahead at the front of the class thinking how to be as good as gold so Mrs. Chapman wouldn’t bother with me anymore. I felt a sharp painful pull to the back of my head. My head flew back and hit the edge of the desk behind me. “Whoa! Ouch”!, I turned to see Mrs. Chapman standing over me. She was looking very angry. Oh know, was all that came to mind besides the pain in my head. “Get out of my class you bully”, she said. I was confused what was she talking about. “GET OUT OF MY CLASS! NOW”! She repeated yelling it so loudly I thought for sure the other teachers would come running. I couldn’t speak, I got up slowly and moved as far away from her as I could getting outside the classroom door. As I was almost to the door, she turned on Ally. “GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM”! She screamed repeatedly to Ally. “You are a bully, I and won’t have that here in my class”. “GET OUT”! Ally got up and was right behind me. We were barely outside the class when... ...SLAM! The big old wooden door slammed shut behind us hitting Ally in the back. Mrs. Chapman couldn’t even wait for Ally to be fully out in the hall before shutting the door. I looked at Ally as she rubbed her head from the thud of the door. “What just happened”? I asked her. “I don’t know”, she relied.
We just stood there confused not knowing what to do. So, we waited. Waited for someone to come and tell us what we were support to do or send us down to the office. We didn’t dare move unless Mrs. Chapman said so or Mr. Grimes. I looked down the hall as I heard whispers of laughter coming from the end and I saw the faces. The faces of those bully kids that Ally and I locked out at recess. My first thought was, how did they get in to the school? Who let them in? Everyone was in class. And how would they know that we had anything to do.....oh!...The thought hit me hard. Danny Ferguson snitched! He must of. It had to be him. He was the only one who knew about our plan. He knew we were the ones setting this up. I wondered, did he offer to help us just so that he could get us into trouble. I bet he did. I said from the beginning he isn’t our friend and we couldn’t trust him. All the white kids stick together. Even if they don’t pick on us they certainly wouldn’t stand up for us. They just laugh like everyone else. All this was running through my mind in seconds. I turned to Ally who had slid down and was sitting on the floor. She looked defeated, broken. But I wasn’t. I was mad! Mad that I let myself trust a kid like Danny Ferguson. I went to sit next to Ally to tell her what I had just realized and seen at the end of the hall. Ally just stared at the wall on the other side of the hall as if she were in a trance. “Ally??.....Ally?? are you hearing me”? I whispered. “Ya, I hear you” she replied. “Did you hear what I said”. “I think that Danny Ferguson ratted us out”. “Ya, Karma I heard you say that, but it’s not true he wouldn’t do that, he didn’t do that”. “Oh Ally can’t you see it”? I pleaded with her. “It had to be Danny, who else”? “No Karma, it wasn’t”. She said with a sigh. Which sounded like a sigh of defeat. “Well then you tell me who else knew, who else would have squealed”?” No one squealed Karma”, her low sighing tone continued. “ I didn’t think about the front doors of the school and today Mrs. Chapman had supervision duty at that door”. “I bet you my snicker doodles that the bullies came in and asked her where the shovel was and the story just came out from there”. “Mrs. Chapman knew that she didn’t ask those big kids to do anything”. Ally finished. “Well ok” the thought stirred in my head, “but why us”? “Danny told the bullies to get the shovel not us! So he must have told them”. “No, Karma he didn’t”. “At least I don’t know for sure, but I’m sure it wasn’t him”. “Mrs. Chapman blames us for everything and those bullies love to get us into trouble”. “We are just easy targets”, she finished. “But that still doesn’t answer the question, why us”? “Why not us”!? Ally returned with anger. “What do these bullies care." “They’re just using this situation to their advantage”. “I didn’t think about that until we came into the school and I saw Mrs Chapman supervising the front foyer and doors”. “Then I just had a feeling”, Ally finished with a sign. “Oh”, was all I could get out in a whisper. Everything Ally just said made sense. I slid to the floor and leaned against the wall beside Ally, the two of us staring off into space wondering what would happen to us now. Would it be the dreaded time out for us or to Mr. Grimes’ office or something much, much worse? Either way I hoped it wouldn’t be bad. I have been through alot at West Park Elementary. But I think it's only made me stronger. Somehow I knew that things were not going to get any easier for me, but I knew that I had Ally and that gave me courage to face another day.