What good does wishing do?

Our home is just a house.
An empty canvas that held such promise
Strong emotions that never surfaced
yet leave a searing pain in your place.

How did this happen?
Such sweet visions of you, such bitter reality
Was it the same for you about me?
I love you, everything about you, but I don't love us.
I leave us behind with mixed emotion.
Was it just me?

Sprawled out on the floor hugging a wall
Rivers flowing from my eyes
Endorphins race in my veins
but love escapes my heart.

Inable to draw conclusions.
I hold you close, yet cannot touch you.
I cannot reach you, because of fear.
Terrified of leaving
Petrified of staying
but things cannot stay the same.

I left you long before I was gone.
I left you before I knew I had.
I left you before we even started.
I'm sure I left you confused.

I've left myself.
I've left myself asking who's to blame?
If I find another will it be the same?
Is this just circumstance, bad timing? wrong person?
Will this get better with time? Or is there no hope for me?
I refuse to believe there is no hope.

All that's left is to say good bye
To go our separate ways.
With all that's not between us,
There's so much I don't feel I can say

I'll leave you in your cloud of smoke.
To the place I could never be.
I wish I could have seen through your eyes
I wish you could have seen through mine
I wish things could have been different
But what good does wishing do?