A Matter of Death and Life

In a futile attempt to restore displaced courage, disheartened hope, and dishonest emotions,  people give me the following advice, “Death is part of life.” It’s a centuries old cliché that does not restore any sense of normalcy and every time I hear it I wonder what they are talking about. Death is not a part of life. Death is the complete opposite of life. It is that which takes away life. It takes away those we love. It takes away our normalcy, what we have become accustomed to. Yes, we live with it. It happens. To deny that death is a very real occurrence in our lives would be to deny that life itself exists. Death is real. Life is real. But they are not one in the same. They do not exist of each other. And we avoid it. We avoid death. We do not enjoy death. The experience takes away part of us. When we experience the death of a loved one, a part of us also dies. We experience the death ourselves, leaving us a little less human. A little less of a whole person than we were before. But we are helpless in death’s existence. It comes for us. We know not the time, nor the place, nor the hour. It comes and we are helpless to resist it.

And I am afraid. I do not enjoy this experience. Mortal sanity ensures that. The real fear of death grips me in a stronghold I can not escape. And yet I am prodded to press on, because all we can really do is keep going. That’s the only effort we can control until it is time for our own end. Until it is time for our own death.

However, sometimes the effort it takes to keep going is too much and we sleep more to get through a few days on the calendar. And we wonder where the comfort and joy that we had grown accustomed to now lives. We cringe when we are greeted by the morning sunshine frowning upon a world that goes on without recognizing our hurt, our pain. Because for us, the world has stopped. But for everyone else, they are going on. But they will have a turn. Nobody who has ever loved will reach their own grave without being affected by the death of their loved one. And so the world slows down, and the world speeds up. And while some of us are going on, others are stopped. And we maintain this pace with some slow, some fast, some pain, some joy, some mountains, some valleys. It’s so much easier to appreciate the valley when you are standing on the mountain, when you aren’t right in the center of the valley standing at the very lowest point knowing you were recently standing on top of the tall peak and not yet being able to see the tall peak of the next mountain in the distance.

And so I cry. And I worry. And I have great concern for the future. Because there is no sure thing right now except for uncertainty. Because always there was a time before the pain. A time before the suffering. A time before there was.

But even if it is the time before, that does not change the future. And so we hold what we have. And we cry thinking about losing it. And we cherish every moment we do have and try to forget that there will be an end. Because if we don’t forget that there will be an end, we are making what is right now the end and experiencing the end before it is time for the end. And why would we want to put down an excellent novel before we have completed it? For fear that the end will be painful? Isn’t the end of the experience painful enough? Why must we make ourselves experience the end more than we must? What is right now, what you can feel with your own hands. Feel it while you have it. Say what you mean while you can. Be thankful for what is right now. Leave the future to faith and ignorant bliss. And just keep going. You need to keep going. Because if you don’t keep going. You are killing yourself before death comes for you. You are a zombie in a constantly moving world. And there are still people here. There are still people here and you are in their book and you don’t want to be left out of this chapter of their life because at one point all the chapters will have been written.

And the most comforting thought for a Christian, is that the end, well, it isn’t really even the end. Because the end is just the beginning of the sequel. And this sequel is so much better than the first. And you get to share the sequel with those people that you met in this world. Everybody’s in that book. So let them rest. They are watching over you. And you will be with them in a day that is so soon. Because the time keeps going by quicker and quicker. And as humans, we forget that this is not the end. It’s only the beginning. And in reality we are so young. And the happiness we experience on earth is just a small taste of what we will experience in heaven. And so death loses its sting. Because now death is not a part of life. No, it has just become the birthplace of eternal life. And there are people there watching us and waiting for us when it is our turn. We’re not alone. We’re never alone. And if your pain isn’t understood by the one who created who, you can understand it? Who can be a greater friend than your own creator? Who can love  you as a father and understand the love of a mother? He’s here. He’s always here. And he knows your pain.