Peeing in Gatorade Bottles

                                                                                                            Peeing in Gatorade Bottles

                I am one of very few people who can say that, for one whole year, I peed in Gatorade bottles more times than I peed in the toilet.  It may sound uncivilized, unclean, and just plain disgusting, but I am very proud to be able to say this.  It is not just because of how much talent it takes for one to pee in a Gatorade bottle that I am so proud (but that is definitely something to take pride in).  I take pride in the reason I had to pee in so many Gatorade bottles over the course of a year.

         From the summer of 2006 until the summer of 2007, I was a gunner in a Humvee, and escorted convoys over 40,000 miles throughout Iraq.  It was on one of these convoys that I peed in a Gatorade bottle for the first time.  Actually, it was on the first one I ever went on, and after that I peed in a Gatorade bottle every time I was on the road.

         I had heard before I went to Iraq that thirty truck convoys don’t stop just because somebody feels the call of nature.  Others who had done the same mission before me told me I would have to learn to pee in Gatorade bottles.  I never thought that I would actually be able to pee in a Gatorade bottle, and I was sure I would be able to hold it until I actually got a chance to find a port-a-john.  I was wrong though, and it only took one mission for me to understand that peeing in Gatorade bottles would become a way of life for me.

         Inside the truck was not the only place I found peeing in Gatorade bottles to be useful.  I did most of my missions at night, so I had to do my sleeping during the day.  The tents we slept in were air conditioned, so they were comfortable most of the time.  The port-a-johns, though, were about 100 yards away.  There were many times when I woke up in the middle of the day, and it was at least 120 degrees outside, and of course I would have to pee.  Rather than go outside into the oven, I would just pick up one of the empty Gatorade bottles that I left beside my bed for this purpose.  I was definitely not the only one who did this, because many times I woke up in the middle of the day to the sound of liquid hitting plastic.

         I have not peed in a Gatorade bottle since that time in Iraq.  Sometimes I wonder if I ever will again.  Maybe I will.  Maybe I won’t.  I do know one thing though.  I keep plenty of empty Gatorade bottles next to my bed, and if the situation ever arises where I do need to pee in a Gatorade bottle, I will have no trouble “letting it flow”.