Threesome

Threesome

Well well well, it’s just me, Jack, and Billy again. Another night with me crooning joke love songs to Billy – that’s the washer, I mean the washing machine, I named him that, yeah, I named him that, like, two minutes ago, I mean it wasn’t a planned thing, I didn’t name him right after I got him, I was just compelled to name him that a little while ago – and to my bottle, my bottle of Jack, my good friend Jack, because, you know, Jack is a great guy. He always knows what I need. Right Jack? “Right!” What a good friend.

Jack is a happy guy until he’s empty, when he’s empty, it’s bad, it’s bad news, and when it’s bad news for Jack it’s bad news for me, ohhhh boy, and nobody wants to be the bearer of bad news, no way, Jack doesn’t, I don’t, nobody does, not even Billy. Billy brings good news, when he yells he yells good news really loud –

“YOUR CLOTHES ARE CLEANNNNN!”

Well thanks Billy, thanks for the good news, I needed good news because Jack was empty again so everybody’s been feeling a little unhappy. But the clothes are clean, that’s good! That’s good news!

Billy sits in the basement with me and Jack; we go downstairs and talk to Billy, right Jack? “Right!” Yeah, Billy’s a silent one, just makes some gurgles every once in awhile. Well, now that I think about it….Jack doesn’t talk much either. But hell, I’m loud enough for all three of us! And when Billy yells that yell, YOUR CLOTHES ARE CLEAN!, that’s loud enough for the whole fucking house to hear! Good thing I’m the only one in the house, I mean there was another one, but she’s gone, yesterday, I mean she left me because she was really tired of Jack, she was jealous of me and Jack. Well no she left today, but it feels like a loooonggg time ago already. But that’s alright, that was bad news, but Jack was full and in my kitchen again under the sink, so he brought some good news, and then he was empty but then Billy brought us back with his clean fucking clothes! So that’s good news.

Now Jack’s all gone again, bye Jack! “Bye!” So he’s gone, and it’s me and Billy, but that’s okay, me and Billy get along fine. Yeah we do. I didn’t need her…. I have…. BILLY! He’s a great guy, always has good news! CLOTHES ARE CLEAN!
So that’s me and Billy now. I’m so full of Jack, and Billy’s big white square stomach is so full of detergent and CLEAN CLOTHES, and the night’s not over yet, but, I guess, well, I guess, I wish it was.