Was It Meant To Be

There was a faint sound; a barely noticeable hum; And as always, the Rem recliner sent an electrical sensation throughout the sleeping body. It was a very efficient alarm system although most people thought that it was somewhat annoying.

I opened my eyes to the artificial sunlight streaming through the virtual windows. This gave the room the look and feel of a bright beautiful day. Rolling over, I sat on the edge of the bed, hoping to avoid the second wake alarm sensation, which would be twice as shocking as the first.

Another uneventful thirteen hour work day awaited me. I briefly allowed myself an unguarded and forbidden thought – Miah, my beautiful coworker. Stealing glimpses of her while daydreaming of us being together gave me my only escape from the mind numbing monotony of the day. Apparently keeping a person occupied for the majority of their wake time didn’t always have the effect that the societal leaders thought.

Yes, our wise and beneficent leaders believed that idleness was a breeding ground for malicious thoughts and emotions. Yes, they thought that if you can occupy a person throughout their life, giving them periods of time when they can have directed freedom to express their energies and desires bodily, society can move along smoothly and less maliciously aggressive. In their mind, “keeping the mind and emotions in control is the chief pursuit of a civilized person and expressions of bodily desires are simply an anatomical function similar to breathing or eating.” Well, their understanding of what it takes to be complete and fully human had been sucked into a vacuum of a black hole.

I finally pushed myself off the bed and tiredly staggered to the sanitation chamber. I reasoned that boredom really takes a lot out of a person. Punching in the sanitation setting that included an exhilarating massage, I heard the slight hum again and before I could finish a yawn, it was over.

Stepping out of the chamber, a soothing mechanical voice announced that I had seven seconds to get to work. “I'm late again...” I jumped onto the molecular transport pad, hoping that there wasn't another transportation jam this morning. I closed my eyes and said , “Work”, I felt a vibration which told me that I could now open my eyes. I really hated molecular transportation, but it got me where I needed to be and dressed with the right clothes for the occasion.

So here I am, at work fully dressed and with 1.5 seconds to spare. Settling into my work pod, I inserted my hands into the interface grid and sighed. “Here we go again.”

The monitor lit up with the words, “Welcome Superintendent Kylor: Assistant Director of Molecular Transportation.” At that very moment a group of new pod recruits were being escorted through the area. “Please don't stop here. I don't want to train; not today...” Being one of the most knowledgeable pod workers in this area, I ended up doing a lot of new recruit training.

They stopped at my pod. As etiquette required, I turned and greeted the new recruits in the proper manner,

“Greetings new recruits, and welcome to your pod stations.”
I glanced around and saw Miah looking at me with a mischievous smile. I struggled to contain my thoughts and control my bodily responses. Any abnormal rise would set off the Anatomical Containment alarms, not to mention the Mind Sweepers.

I knew that I had to do something. I was losing more control of myself the longer I stayed around her. In a society that stresses freedom and individuality, some things are not allowed and will not be tolerated. And it just so happens that having thoughts and feelings for someone who is already mutually partnered is one of them. The leaders in this society found a way to twist something that was read to me years ago. Their version is, “... if you look at a woman with mental and/or emotional desire, you've committed an abomination with her in your heart...” But that’s not to say that partnering is the same as grouping or what use to be called marriage.

The term partnering is a contradiction; the ability to be with a person but not with the person. Partnering doesn’t mean committed monogamy. The thought of the word brings a disparity between this society and the society of my beloved ancient readings. Ah yes, readings of a time when, the all encompassing passion of love commits one person to another in a joyful expression of sharing oneself. That was partnering. Love, passion and commitment are concepts lost in this society. What type of off-worldliness is it that says that I can join myself with another as long as I keep my mental and emotional distance? Mental and emotional closeness is taboo. What is a body, devoid of the soul?

Miah would be happy to join. We’ve even talked about it, but I can’t. That would be the death of my integrity, the dishonoring of her inner and outer beauty and the desecration of the purity of true love. With that thought I hurriedly checked my time piece.

My time piece; ancient and archaic, has been handed down throughout my family, with a new slight modification. No vibration; I check the second hand to make sure that it is not going backwards. Knowing my “emotional and mental weakness” for concepts, thoughts and ideals from a different time, I needed a way to be alerted to the Mind Sweepers.

One of the perks of being assistant director for an internal technology division is that I get to examine and evaluate all of the new changes and upgrades to our technology. And I found an unknown or little known glitch in the system; a frequency resonance.

Each operation that occurs within the technology of our society seems to be calibrated at a certain frequency and that frequency produces resonance. That is why everything produces an almost indiscernible hum. The Mind Sweeper naturally has one of the techno-security hums running throughout the grid system.
Smiling to myself I thought that it was ingenious to create a sensor to pick up the hum of the Mind Sweeper and put it into my time piece, which no one paid attention to since most people understood my predilection for the past. And those that didn’t either ignored it or quietly asked someone else about it.

I loved the past; the literature, the art, the music – the life. I found that some of my favorite authors were Dumas, Shakespeare and Dickens and because of that I longed for the love that was expressed in the words that flowed off of the pages. Being able to express and share a love so deep and completely encompassing with another person who shared that same love was now deeply woven within my being. And there was only one person that I wanted to share that love with; Miah.

Coming out of my revelry, I noticed that my personal Mind Sweeper alert didn’t go off. I sighed with a sense of relief. Just then I felt a soft touch on my shoulder. A tingle went through me and I instinctively knew who it was.

I turned and was enveloped with a pair of the most sincere and inviting eyes that I have ever seen.

“Miah – Greetings”.

Saying the name gives me a feeling of comforting nostalgia – that of a love that I’ve only witnessed in the books and stories that I’ve read. She smiled, with such a smile that could only make me wish that it wouldn’t fade into a memory.

“Greetings, I see that you were stuck with the new recruits this morning. The look on your face told me that you would rather have had an EC.”

“Well, as bad as it was, I don’t know if I’d go that far.” I’ve had a disciplinary Emotion Correction and I would not want to have a full one. “

I thought back on my disciplinary EC with a slight shutter that came more out of anger and frustration rather than fear. Undergoing an EC consisted of being subjected to a mind sweep that not only sought to purge the mental emanations, but also sought to inflict pain with the accompanying emotions that such emanations elicited.

The mind sweeper would project the thought patterns onto a screen, thereby showing to the world what you were thinking. And once the thought video was on the screen, the initial emotional sensations that were still stored in body’s sensoratory memory were amplified to the point of pain. This generally had the effect of crushing the emotional sensation that was brought on by erroneous thoughts. And shortly, the thoughts died along with the emotions.

We’ve nicknamed it the Emotion Crush since it doesn’t correct them, just crushes them.

“Let me guess, your ancient books got the best of you and an erroneous emotion was detected, correct?”

“As always, you are correct again.” Miah’s question snapped me back into the present.
“Those books are going to get you in real trouble one day. You were lucky that you were an assistant director. You might not be so lucky next time. Which book was it?”

“It was the Cyrano de Bergerac. Cyrano really knew what true love was. Unfortunately, that seems to be something missing in our world today.”

“You must stop talking like that before you get us both in trouble. This love that you keep talking about in your ancient books seemed to be the cause of a lot of problems during that time in man’s history. We are to keep ourselves clean and our bodies free.”

“I’ve seen you. I’ve looked into those fathomless eyes. I know your playful adventurous spirit. And I know that you don’t truly believe that. Deep down, I know that you really believe that there is more and you would like to experience it.”

Miah gazed at me, visibly shaken. “You must stop talking like that. Are you seeking to break my partnering?”

“No. I’m just trying to show you that there is more than the existence that we’re forced to live.

“To be fully human, a person must be fully whole; mind, emotions and the body. In time, you may come to see the truth of what I say.”

“You must cease with your obsession with the ancient ways. This love and wholeness that you always speak of was for a time past. It was a less civilized time. We have progressed and you are the one who must come to embrace the truth of our leaders.”

“I took her hand and kissed it gently. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I realize that you don’t understand. I only want the best for you and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that you’re happy and safe.”

Her lips quivered and I stepped close to her. I hugged her tightly for what seemed like a uniternity. I slowly pushed her away and told her to have a pleasant night. Her eyes were calling to me, imploring me to stay with her; if just for one night. She started to speak but I put a finger to her lips and whispered to her to live a full, free, self-conscious life.

Walking away, I thought to myself, “Yes, parting truly is a sweet sorrow.” Entering the molecular transport pad, I knew that it was going to be another long night

Arriving home, I entered a meal sequence. Tonight the pain that I felt, knowing that she was with someone else was more than an Emotion Corrector could do. I left the food in the processor and went to my bookshelves. Skimming the shelves, I found the book that I was looking for.

I placed the book on a table and took the food out of the processor. I didn’t taste the food as I sat and opened the book to the section called “The Song of Solomon.” Here was a love story of multi-dimensional proportions. I looked at my time piece for any sweeper activity. There was none. I keyed in a sequence on my music player. I selected some beautiful music that resonated at a frequency which essentially nullified the Mind Sweepers.

And so I moved back from the table, reclined and immersed myself into “The Song of Solomon.” As I read, I found myself returning to the section that stated,

“Thou hast ravished my heart… Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb ...” (Song 4:9-11)

In a world devoid of true passion, I allowed my heart to be ravished. I knew that if anyone found out the true desire and focus of my heart, I would probably be locked up and subjected to total reconditioning. But I couldn't help how I felt and if I was being honest with myself, I didn't want to help it.

My thoughts drifted back to Miah; my sister, my spouse. She was brought up in a traditional society sanctioned completion group or what in ancient days was called a family. Miah was taught the rightness of societal group think, the dichotomy of the soul and body and the moral behaviors of an immoral society.

Yes, my Miah who took a chance to read one of my ancient books. A seed of doubt and questioning was planted then, but the pressures of this civilized world sought to keep it buried; to receive no nurturing until that flicker of true humanity died.
But, I will not let it die. I will not let her die.

And with that declaration, I drifted off to an unfitful sleep.


I arrived at work a few seconds early only to find that Miah was not there. This was very unusual because she was usually minutes early. She felt that it helped her to prepare herself for the work ahead. She tried to explain to me the merits of being early, especially being the Assistant Director. I understood her point, but no matter how hard I tried, being early by minutes only lasted a couple of days.

The pod alert flashed, letting me know that another employee had arrived. It was Miah's pod. So, she finally made it in. I decided that this behavior was unusual enough to be considered justifiable for me to leave my pod and inquire about the odd behavior; “The Department of Molecular Transportation can't allow the problems of employees to slow the important work that we do.”

I turned and when I saw Miah, I knew that she had had at least as bad a night as I did – probably worse. Whether it was because of her coupling or some other reason, I couldn't say. But, I've never seen someone the day after a coupling look like she looked this morning. In a word she looked disheveled. And it was almost to the point of being recklessly disheveled. She looked like a person who just doesn't care about their appearance and wants somebody to say something about it.

I've read about that type of attitude in some of my books. But this was not an attitude to have out in public where a random mind sweep could come along. It was described as “having a chip on your shoulder and daring someone to knock it off.” That was it. She was hoping that the mind sweep would come; but why.

I reached her pod and she looked up. She had a resigned look that was mostly masked by the cheery pod worker trained exterior. She greeted me formally. It was more out of professional reflex than recognition. There was tiredness and confusion in her eyes, but there was something else - desperation. Her eyes had an almost hopeless look in them. Then I noticed that she was wearing the same clothes that she wore yesterday. When she fully registered my presence, the look was replaced with anger.

“Greetings and a free morning to you Miah”

In an uncharacteristically clinched and hushed tone, she responded, “How dare you greet me in such a manner? Do you realize what I went through last night? Of course you don't; you and your ancient ways.”

I was dumbstruck. In the work environment, Miah was the consummate professional. But this Miah, in keeping with her appearance was anything but professional. She now had the look of a cat in the wild. The look of disarray was now the look of nature, savage, raw but in place, sensual but deadly. When she moved to face me more squarely it was the dance of the hunter and the prey. And it seemed that I was the prey.

“What do you mean? What ancient ways?”

“You know we were to couple last night, but you left me. You left me standing there wanting what you know is freely given. But you wouldn't. You control your body as if it's as important as your mind and emotions. I needed to couple. I needed to join. I needed to join with you and I couldn't. You denied me”

I stammered. But before I could get a coherent sentence out she continued.

“I went home, forced to couple with my partner, Dylin. But I couldn't. And I couldn't tell him why. I couldn't tell myself why. I didn't know why. I couldn't couple, I couldn't eat and I couldn't sleep. The only thing I could do was find that eternally damned book that you gave me. I read it. All night I read it. And what effect do you think it had on me? It made me think about and desire you more. But it wasn't to couple with you; you off-world freak. I just wanted to be with you.”

I stood there, mouth open, gazing at her in confused yet, joyous amazement. Then suddenly I felt my time piece. The mind sweepers were doing a random probe. I needed to snap Miah out of her current mental and emotional state before they reached this section. I knew I couldn't talk her out of her condition in time, so I had to do what I knew would - I had to cause her pain.

Using the knuckle joint of my index finger, I quickly applied a slight amount of pressure behind Miah's ear, causing her jaw to tighten and then as the rest of her body began to tighten, I touched an indentation in her shoulder. Her body loosened and her eyes lost the ferociousness and took on the professional look of a Molecular Transportation Department pod worker.

“I’m glad you're doing okay. Try not to be late again.” I said returning to my pod just as the Mind Sweepers entered the area. From Miah's pod, I heard her give her apologies on being late assuring me that it wouldn't happen again.

*************
We both realized that we had a close call. It was closest Miah had ever come to being caught by a mind sweep. The rest of the day, nothing else was said regarding the situation. After work I asked Miah if she would like to come over to my dwelling so that we could talk freely.

This was something that she eagerly agreed to. She sent a communication to her partner that she would be somewhere else this evening and we went to the molecular transport.

Arriving at my dwelling, I asked if she wanted something to eat or drink. To which she pointed out that that was a tradition from ancient times and not something that is done today. This was true. In our new and enlightened society, a visitor is free to get whatever they want, whenever they want. The dweller is not the host or hostess when there is a visitor.

“Still, I think that it is a nice gesture.”

“Yes it is, in a backwards sort of way. But, back to you and your ancient ways.”
I knew that the preliminaries were over and the main event was about to start. I keyed in several songs on my music selector to assure that we couldn't be probed or swept and made myself as comfortable as I could.

“The more I read, the more I desired to be with you; to hold you, to touch you, to be completely yours. The thoughts and feelings that I had were foreign. They were scary and at the same time exciting. I started feeling that joinings were just empty activities with no meaning and no substance. I would look over at Dylin with revulsion wondering what I was doing with him and still knowing that being with him was the societal thing to do.”

“But is it the right thing to do? Is it the true thing to do?”

“Don't sit there and lecture me on right and true. You know that what you read, look at and listen to are not right and true; not now, not in this age.”

“But they're true and right if you want to experience what it is to be fully human.”

I hesitated and then quietly asked, “Miah, do you want to be fully human?”

She turned her face away, looking down and continued.
“Dylin felt that the partnering was breaking and he didn't like it. He woke up to find me reading the book and I think the only thing that kept the mind sweepers away was the fact that I was so sleepy and confused. There were no clear mental projections and emotions to focus on.

But Dylin knew. He took the book and transed it to the area Department of Security, claiming a deliberate partner breaking. I'm sure he believes that my not coming to our dwelling this evening is because he thinks that I will be joining with you.”

This didn't sound good at all. What did I do. Did I put the life of the woman that I love at risk? As much as I would have wanted Miah and Dylin not to be partnered, if she was happy I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. But, it seems that I may have lost all without even knowing it.

“Kylor, I don't know what to do. I know that there's more. I know that I want to be with you. I know that I want to be yours in the way that you talk about. I know that I want to be fully human.”

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Miah held my hands. I looked up to see that she was looking at me with a smile that hinted at desire controlled now by discretion. The warmth and sincerity had returned to her eyes.

“Is there a place that we can go where we can be together the way your books talk about? You're the Assistant Director of Molecular Transportation. Isn't there somewhere that we can go?”

“If that is something that you truly want, knowing that we can never come back, there might be a way and a place.”

Falling into my arms, she whispered yes with such intensity that my body seemed to burn. I struggled to my feet, knowing that my composure had evaporated in the heat of her love. She had said “yes”. The love that was conveyed in that one word drove me.

Pulling her up, I led her to the door of my experimental technology room. I drew her to me and kissed her. Something I had wanted to do since I first saw her. Looking into her deep inviting eyes, I whispered, “I love you. We can be together the way it was meant to be.”

As I keyed in the door lock sequence, my time piece vibrated and the molecular transport pad was automatically activated. Only the security department could override my transport pad lockout. Was it too late? Was this really meant to be?