Dear Me

The following item placed 3rd from 104 entries received for the January 2010 "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest"  [E].


Dear Me

Having observed you keenly for the forty odd years that you have dwelt upon this planet, I am compelled to describe your life as a remarkable case study in missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential. If I still say a ray of hope it is only because of your good attitude. You never blamed destiny or circumstances and always held your own self responsible for all your failures. In this letter I will try and analyze the causes of your failures. More importantly, I will also enumerate the way forward.

Do you remember the book “Just Enough” by Laura Nash and Howard Stevenson? An excellent handbook on how to define and measure success, it describes four categories of satisfactions that are derived from enduring success: Happiness, Achievement, Significance and Legacy. In each category it places the four quadrants of human life: Self, Family, Work and Community, forming sixteen possible co-ordinates. eg.Happiness-Self , Significance-Community etc. I will classify the co-ordinate which each suggestion will help you meet.

So here goes:

1. First and foremost you need to win the battle against your most implacable foe, LETHARGY. Subdue it, bid adieu to procrastination and meet all your deadlines. This is the surest way to earn the confidence of your superiors and the respect of your peers.

How do you do it?
i.Summon all your hidden reserves of will power. I know how cliché this sounds, but believe me; there is no other way. You need to be on constant guard against maladies like drowsiness, distractedness and weariness.
ii. You neither exercise nor rest enough. Sound health and sufficient sleep can do wonders to your alertness, energy and enthusiasm and help you overcome this intractable enemy.

How do you measure success?

i. One simple way is to measure the speed at which you read and respond to your email. Make a norm that you will not take more than 48 hours to read or respond to a mail. Grant yourself daily 25 points if you succeed in this for 100% of your mails, 15 for 80%, 10 for 60% and 5 for 50%
ii. Exercise regularly. I would prefer that you start revisiting the gym regularly. But if this seems difficult resume your practice of yoga. Remind yourself that you were the best yoga student in your class in your school days. For every 30 minutes of yoga grant yourself 25 points. For every 30 minutes at the gym grant yourself 50 points.
iii. Make a list of all the reports you are supposed to send like the Market report, the Risk Report, the Weekly Activity Report, and Sales Report etc. Grant yourself 25 points for every report sent on time, 15 points for a delay of 24 hours and 10 point for a delay of 48 hours. Any report sent later than 48 hours is useless.
iv.Sleep at least 7 hours every day. Grant yourself 25 points for every day you achieve this.

Co-ordinates: Achievement-Work, Achievement-Self

2. You need to spend more time with your family. But sheer lassitude prevents you from completing your assignments on time and forces you to take work home. You want to enjoy your family. But the burden of work keeps you away from what you cherish, causing immense distraction. The end results are poor quality outputs, unhappy bosses and a feeling of inadequacy. So though you neglected your family, the professional recognition you crave for continues to elude you. This affects your raises, incentives and promotions making your family unhappy as they see your peers move ahead.

How do you do it?

i. Practice time-management. Reserve Sundays strictly for family. Important here is to honor the spirit of the regime. You may be with your family, but your mind may be preoccupied with your pending deadlines. To make it really worth it, work extra hours on other days if required, so that Sunday is totally free.
ii. Take at least a week long vacation with your family.

How do you measure success?

i. For every Sunday spent like this (in spirit and not in letter), reward yourself 100 points.
ii.If you take your family out for a vacation this year, reward yourself with 5000 points.

Co-ordinates: Happiness-Self, Happiness- Family

3. For long you have used your international posting as a clever ruse to shirk the responsibility of your ageing mother. Your hapless younger brother is left to tend to her on his own, suffering manfully the irascibility of her advancing years. Her worsening osteo-arthritis only complicates the situation still further. “Total Knee Replacement” surgery is the only cure that will ease her pain and enhance her mobility. It is not the lack of money that has prevented this procedure, but the scarcity of time for the operation has to be followed by three months of a carefully monitored recuperation.

How do you do it?

i. You need a three to four months absence from duty to oversee your mother’s operation and the subsequent convalescence. The only way you can do this is by quitting your job. This is risky because after she recovers, you will need to again seek gainful and commensurate employment. Your choices are indeed tough. If you leave your work you compromise the financial security of your family. If you don’t, you are being selfish and impervious to your mother’s needs.
ii.You also need to assume the responsibility of your mother. You may choose to change your job and relocate closer to her or bring her to live with you. Besides the professional complexities involved here, there is also the issue of the strong views your wife has on your mother. You have a dismal past record of handling the explosive situations that would occur when both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be forced to abide under the same roof. You cannot wish such occurrences away, but need to brace yourself to face them.

How do you measure success?

i. There are such deep- rooted emotions and conflicting situations involved here, that allocating points will only desecrate the sanctity of the task. But if you manage to pull this whole thing off i.e. secure your mother’s treatment without compromising your own professional aspirations or your family’s financial security and also bring about a balance between her and your wife, it would indeed be the zenith of all accomplishments, the achievement of a lifetime.

Co-ordinates: Significance-Family

4. You studied in your country’s finest educational institutions. In spite of little professional success, your impressive academic qualifications have assured you significant prosperity compared to your hapless relatives. Though you have been more than generous in helping them financially, you do that more out of a pressing need for ‘guilt-redemption’ than anything else. The money that you dole out only achieves temporary relief. If you really wish to contribute to the upliftment of your kith and kin, you need to create a more enduring model.

How do you do it?

i.This could be done in various ways. One way is to utilize your contacts to secure a good job for them or you set up a business where you make the financial investment and they bring in the sweat equity.
ii.You have cousins who have not completed their education. impress upon them to complete their education.
How do you measure success?

i. For each person you establish in this manner, grant yourself 5000 points.

Co-ordinates: Legacy-Family, Legacy-Community,

5. Though you deny it, I am perfectly aware of the dormant ambitions embedded deep within your heart. You dream to be published someday or write the screenplay for a blockbuster. What I abhor is your cowardice. You are scared of your own dreams. Stop bothering about failure or rejection and devote time to something about which you feel so passionately.

How do you do it?

i. By an act of serendipity you discovered WDC. Make the most of it. Participate in at least one contest a month to begin with. Take unpleasant reviews and ratings in your stride. Do not get offended by anybody and accept all feedback with utmost humility and in the right spirit.
ii. Read at least one novel every month. It is time you did justice to the impressive collection lining your bookshelf; books which you brought a long time back, but never read.
iii. Review at least one story every week on WDC.

How do you measure success?

i. Reward yourself with 500 points for every 5000 words you pen.
ii. Read at least one novel every month. Reward yourself 500 points for every novel.
iii. Review at least one story every week on WDC. For every story you review grant yourself 100 points.

Co-ordinates: Happiness-Self, Achievement-Self

6. Think positively. Shun pessimism because it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy. Awareness of your shortcomings is fine but it should not lead to an erosion of self-confidence. Having rarely tasted success, you need a lot of positive reinforcement. Ideally, your boss should provide you this, but given your past performance it is unlikely that he will.

How do you do it?

i. What you need are large doses of self-motivation, determination and focus. Plan meticulously and execute well. Avoid thinking of the end results. If you work sincerely, chances are that you will win in the end. Even if you don’t you shouldn't feel let down as long as you have really tried. So stop praying for luck. Do not expect others to encourage you. Remember that you tread alone. Derive pleasure from the process. I know that winning is important and one day you will. As long as you don’t give up and work hard. Real hard.

How do you measure success?

i. This will be difficult to fit into a mathematical measurement. But let me try. You are currently in the midst of four important projects. For reasons of confidentiality I will code name them as D, W, L and A. Let your boss evaluate whether you did all that you could have done to execute them flawlessly. If he agrees, grant yourself 5000 points each for D, L and A and 10000 points for W.

Co-ordinates: Achievement-Self

Coming to the overall measurement, the following would be my interpretation

Less than 20,000 points: You need to try much harder.
20,000 – 30,000 points: I can see chances of a revival.
30,000 – 40,000 points: I see the makings of a winner.
40,000 – 50,000 points: You are on the cusp of greatness.
More than 50,000 points: You have made it.

Well, my friend. It is high time that I stopped rambling on, because you need to get started. Remember life starts now. Work hard. Have fun. Celebrate small victories. Stay focused. You can do it.

Wish you all the best.

Yours truly

PM

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