waking dreams and sleeping fits

these past few days have been difficult to understand, the rushes of anxiety
the surges of weird feelings in throat and chest like extreme nerves
but I knew I had nothing much to worry about so set it aside in my mind for later
then there was the powerful visions of daja vu wide awake but somewhere else
the voice in the lecture telling me something new but my brain tripping around saying I had been here before
knowing what was coming next or maybe brain just lagging behind my ears?
there's a smell in the air impossible to define, something like blood in my mouth, bile in my throat

Last night was the worse, laying still watching TV but rushing like a comet
realization comes through, these feeling are not love they are very similar but now I know
the technical name is partial seizure a prelude to the main course
which caught me in my sleep bit my tongue and bashed my head
stuff in my room all moved about and blood on the floor
my ribs are aching something fierce and my head is running on 90%
ask me a question the answer may be there or may be beyond immediate recall

back on the drugs their tedious three a day demands, negotiate with the authoritative knowledge
hiding behind the desk nazi's, stupid powermad little bitches protecting the doctor from his patients
so now here i sit waiting for the next round of hallucinations, of sickness and disorientation
life is full of surprises some good and very pleasant some just annoying and a bit grim
shit happens all the time, it is there to contrast and enhance the good times
now here comes the next rush as powerful as an illegal drug rushing over me
hot and flushed heart rate going nine to the dozen, nausea and adrenaline hot and flushed.