Never Look Back

                                                                                  Never Look Back
                                                                                  By: Jana Wirtel
         My name was Jack Stone. I used to be an average guy with an average life. I had a wife, a beautiful wife, Emma was her name. Her smile could light up a room and she had the heart of a child. We had only been married for seven years when my life changed forever, I would never see her face again.
         It was July, the 23rd to be exact. A perfect day it was, the sun was shining, the birds were singing and the smell of freshly mowed lawns poured in through our open bedroom window. I began my day like every other. Shower, shave, breakfast and a quick good-bye smooch to my Emma. I left for work not knowing that I would never again return to my “average” life.
         My commute began as always. A quick stop at the country store for my usual coke and cigarettes and then a twenty-three minute drive to work, but that day I never made it. As I turned out on to the freeway I heard a voice, a voice very similar to my own telling me to “never look back.” This voice was extremely persistent and would not ease up as I continued to drive. “Never look back” it repeated. I pulled over and glanced into my rear-view mirror where I caught the glimpse of a much older man. I immediately snapped my head around and closed my eyes tightly, hoping I was imagining things; but when I turned around he was still there, glaring at me.
         “Jack, never look back. Your life ends here. Today you are no longer Jack Stone, you are William Johnson, understand?”

         “Who are you” I managed to choke out. “What do you want?” I tried handing him my wallet, my keys, anything that would make him leave me alone, but none of it worked. He just wasn’t having it.

         I was speechless, my forehead covered in tiny beads of sweat. My throat was dry and yet all I could do was sit there, stunned. Then the man spoke again.
         “Take Exit 329. Turn left on to Gideon Avenue and park in the black garage. It will be the sixth one down on your right. I will explain everything. Trust me Jack.”

         I nodded, placed my car in drive and did exactly what I was asked to do. The drive took about an hour and as I grew closer to my exit my nerves took over. The silence was unbearable. Who was this man? Finally, at 9:32 a.m. I parked my car in the black garage and turned to the man in my backseat.
         “What now?” I asked.
         
         “Come inside. We’ll talk.” Was his reply.

         The room was grand. Bright yellow walls, antique art covered the wall to the left of where I was standing. The furniture, or lack there of, was all covered in plastic with the exception of a black leather chair in the center of the room. “Sit” he said. “Jack, you have been chosen. You are the one that we have been looking for.”
         “Looking for me? Why?”
         “That cannot yet be discussed. I am sorry.” He whispered, looking down toward the floor.
         “I need to call Emma, my wife. She needs to hear this.”
         “I am so sorry Jack. You cannot call Emma. You are never to have contact with her again. You belong to us now.”

         “No!” I shouted. “Who the hell are you? What do you want from me? You won’t tell me anything! Why should I even waste my time listening to you?”

         “Okay Jack. If you must know, my name is Charles Baker. I too have given up my “average” life. My family, my job, my children, everything I knew in the outside world. I was once in your position. I know how you feel. They found me the same way I found you today, and now, I am forever grateful for that day. It has changed my life.”

         “Grateful for what? For leaving your life behind? For turning your back on your family, your children? For what benefit? At what cost?”

         The conversation ended there as he hit a button to turn on the television. There on the screen was Emma. My perfect Emma, but something was wrong. There was a strange man in the background, a man I had never seen. She was in our house doing our laundry when she was suddenly grabbed from behind, her face covered by a small white handkerchief .
         “Noooooo….” I screamed. “Emma! Emma!”
         “I am sorry Jack. It is all a part of the situation. She will be taken, wiped clear of any memory she has of her marriage, her childhood, etc. She will then be placed in witness protection. She will be given a new name, a new job, a new identity entirely.”

         “Why? What the hell for?” I scream at him. “I haven’t agreed to anything. Why are you tearing my family apart?”

         “It will be as though your family never existed Jack. You will move on, as will she. Your life will be much better here. I promise.”

         How could I possibly live without my Emma? My life was with her and someone is trying to take it away? I was bound and determined not to let this happen. Not to me.
         He motioned for me to sit down and as I did four other men entered the room. The one that caught my eye first was a large fair skinned man wearing a black suit. His eyes were a piercing blue and his physique was flawless. I assumed he must be the leader when he nodded to Charles letting him know to leave the room. Suddenly I was all alone in a room full of strangers, unsure of my fate. The man came to me and said:
         “Hello Jack. My name is Gerald Copeland. The name of my organization is The Association of the Unseen. I am sure that you have several questions you would like answered.”
         
“Uh..Uh..” was all I could manage to choke out.
         “Jack. Are you okay?”
         “Umm, what kind of organization rips people away from their families? What are you people?”

         “We hand pick our members. Everyone in association with us possesses some special quality. In your case, it is numbers. I have watched you for several years Jack. You are just what we need.”

         “Need for what? I promise I will be of no good here. I want to leave. I want to go home to my wife. I want my normal life back. PLEASE!!”

         “It’s is too late for that Jack. That decision was yours to make before you came here. You had a choice you know. You could have told Charles no and headed to work, but instead you listened. You came here. You are now a part of this association.”

         My whole body tensed up and the sound of his words. I had no choice no but to listen.
         “Why would I want to be a part of this association? What is the benefit for me? I was happy with my normal life, couldn’t you see that? This is no place for me. I promise you that you will not be happy with your decision to pick me. I can assure you of that.”

         “It is not about you anymore.” His voice more stern now. “You are now part of a whole. Everything you do and say from now on must be approved by me. Got it? You will find that in time you will fit in here. You will enjoy what you do. After all, we are the most elite form of the government. No one even knows we exist.”

         “Why must we .. I mean you all be kept a secret?”

         “If the normal citizens of this country know we exist, then we are powerless. We must have the common people in fear of the government and of the unseen. We must keep the lowest profile possible and only speak to those who are members of our organization.”

         “Will you tell me why you picked me, out of all the people out there. Why me?”

         “You see Jack.. William as you will now be called. You were chosen because of the specific qualities you possess. You are extremely personable. This will allow you to get close to those we need exterminated. Your number skills will help us with our electronic database. Your average look allows you to blend in with society.”

         “Can I at least speak to Emma one last time? Can I see her? I need to see her! You owe me that!”

         “Oh.” His looked immediately changed. “I must apologize. Emma has already been transformed. She now goes by the name Emily Hanes and will reside in Fort Worth, Texas. She no longer has any memory of you, your marriage or of anything from her previous life.”

*
         Two years has passed and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of Emma, or Emily as she is called now. Because of Gerald’s connections I am allowed to see her from time to time via a television screen, but sometimes that just isn’t enough. I yearn to see her, to touch her. I will escape this place and find her.
I have learned more about this organization and yet I still don’t know how to escape it. You are surrounded twenty-four hours a day by some people you know and by others that you have never met. All I know is that we make people “disappear”.
         It was six months after my induction that I was sent on my first mission for the AU, and it was the scariest experience of my life. Those with extreme debt to the U.S. Government or those who are suspected of crimes against the country suddenly disappear. We are the ones responsible for these disappearances. There are many ways to make someone disappear you know? However, our tactics cannot be discussed with the public.
         My mission took me to Dallas, Texas. There was a man there who was plotting to detonate a bomb at the upcoming presidential debate. I was sent to make sure that neither he, nor his bomb ever made it out of his home. While in Texas I somehow managed to elude my associates and try to find Emma.
         I made it to Fort Worth with no problem. How I was going to locate her was the hard part. I found the local government office and managed to walk right in. I scaled the books and finally found her. The address was 5672 Stone Lake Road, and I felt a tear in my left eye. Stone, I thought. My last name. Our last name. I drove the four miles to her home and as I stopped in front of her house, a house that reminded me so much of ours I began to feel nauseated. There in the yard were two children, a boy and a girl. Behind them stood Emma and next to her a man who looked so much like the boy playing in the yard. I took a closer look and realized that she was the mother of these children and this man was her new husband. I could not control the emotions pulsing through me. I had to do something about this, but what?
         My hand grasped the chilled handle of the car and I slowly opened the door. Neither one of them looked my way. As I made my way through the yard I could feel a chill race up my spine and back down again. The little girl looked at me with Emma’s big blue eyes and continued playing. As I approached Emma and what appeared to be her new husband I was struck with grief, but I somehow managed to speak.
         “Emma.” I said.
         “I am sorry” she replied. “My name is Emily. You must have the wrong house.”
         “No ma’am. I am sure that this is the right house. You are Emily Hanes. Right?”
         “Well yes.” She replied. “I used to be Emily Hanes, since my marriage I am Emily Howell. Do I know you?”

         “You used to.” I replied. “Could I possibly speak to you in private? It is government business.” I slipped out my badge knowing that this would get her away from her husband.

         “Of course sir. What can I help you with?”

         “My name is Jack Stone.” I said. “Do you remember me?”
         
         “I am sorry. I don’t”

         “Say it. Jack Stone. We used to be married. We used to have a home of our own. You were taken one day while folding laundry and now you are here. Your name was Emma.”

         “I beg your pardon. You HAVE the wrong person. My name is NOT Emma. My name is Emily. You must have the wrong house. What address do you have? Maybe I can point you in the right direction.”

         “I am sorry to have bothered you” I replied. “Enjoy your afternoon.”

         As I drove away I could not help but feel the sadness consume me. My wife. My Emma. She was remarried? How did she have two children so quickly? I knew that I had to find Gerald, I knew that he could answer my questions.
         My drive back seemed so short and I raced in to the meeting hall. There were so many questions I needed answers to. I wanted out and I wanted out right now! My life had been ruined. I could not bear the thought of my Emma being married to anyone but me. How could this happen?
         Gerald was in his normal seat at the head of the table when I opened the double doors. The look on his face told me that he already knew why I was there and he was quick to motion for me to step into the neighboring room. I nodded and proceeded into the den area where I was met by Gerald, Charles and the man I saw in the yard with my wife.
         “What is going on?” I said almost in a whisper.
         “Why did you go to see Emma? Don’t you know the rules William? You could get kicked out for such corrupt behavior!”

         “I had to see her” I sighed. “Why would you do this to me? How could she be married with children so quickly? It hasn’t even been a year.”

         “Those children are mine” a voice came from the man I had seen earlier in the front yard of Emma’s home. “I was sent for Emma when you were chosen. She needed someone and I was chosen, just like you were. I was chosen to be her mate.”

         “Her mate! I was her mate.”
         
         “You were chosen for more extensive duties” he replied. “In this society, William, everything you do is decided for you. Gerald and those who are in high power like him make the decisions. You do as you are told. You marry who they tell you to. You work where they tell you to. Are you getting the just of all of this?”

         “I don’t understand? Why couldn’t I just stay married to MY wife? Why couldn’t I have joined this association and stayed married to Emma. Obviously she has some sort of connection with us. What would the difference have been?”

         Gerald stepped forward sporting a look I have never seen and said:

         “The reason you could not stay married is because you were hand selected to kill your wife William.”

         The words hit me like I had been punched in the throat. I could not speak. I could not breathe. My palms were clammy and I could feel the blood rush from my face. The blackness took over and when I awoke I was surrounded by the same men who were with me when I received the news. My hands were strapped to the bed and I was completely unable to move.
         “We warned you” said Gerald. “You are not like the others. You are combative and the things in your memory are not easily forgotten.”
         “I remember because I want to. I remember the things that are important to me. I remember my wife because I love her more than anything. I remember my house because that is where we made our life together. I remember everything because I WANT to! Why can’t you just understand that I am not the person you want? Why can’t you just let me go back to my normal life and find someone else?”

         “I am sorry Jack. It is much too late for that now. You have been let inside this association. You know the ins and outs. You know too much. There is nothing more I can do for you. I cannot let you go because our information will be made public. You will go to the police or the FBI. We will no longer be able to perform our given tasks.”

         “Why would it matter if I went to the police or the FBI? It’s all government run. Everyone in the government knows about you anyway. It would do no good. I would…” My thoughts were frozen. I suddenly realized that all this time I had not been working for the U.S. Government. No. I had been kidnapped. Who were these people?

         “I want you to think about your next words very carefully human” replied Gerald in a deep, dark tone. “I want you to know that this association does indeed exist, just not in the form you thought. This will ruin us. You can stay with us and work for us or you can go against us and in that case you will be killed.”

         My thoughts from then after are not clear. I am not sure how I ended up back at home. I awoke to the smell of bacon and walked down the stairs to find my Emma cooking breakfast. Unsure of the day I asked her and she replied “Sunday. You were out quite a while. Are you sure you are feeling okay?” I debated for a long while whether or not to explain to her the strange circumstances I had experienced and wondered why I had been asleep for what seemed like eternity. Did I dream everything?
         As I walked into the bathroom to rinse my face I noticed a note taped to the mirror and without hesitation I picked it up, opened it and began to read.





Dear Jack:
         I am sorry that it had to be this way. Your memory serves you better than we ever expected. Please keep our contact secret and we promise never to affect you or your family again. Please accept our deepest apologies.

THE A.U.
P.S. Never look back