The Insomniac's Prayer

A thousand drums beat inside of my taught veins,
my mind is running on the tracks of too many trains.
Sleep will not come easy to me again this night,
in spite of using milk and music, no relief is in sight.

O Lord, Will you please come hold my shaking hand?
Can you erase the need of what's on my nightstand?
For useless are warm drinks or celebrated bitter pills,
against the nightmarish thoughts and sleepless ills.

Do you require from me some midnight offering,
before a sweet nocturnal relief is forthcoming?
I have in my posession many caloric delights,
Nibbled religiously in a cold bed by the T.V's light.

Life has taken much from me and left me in ashes,
I followed the wrong paths, used the wrong compasses.
I focused on perfection, prayed to the wrong Gods,
Lord give me direction, can I ever beat the odds?

Mortals were no help, their fleshly comforts ran out.
Needing control of my life I'd rather now do without.
But here on this night night I am awake once again,
If you can't give me sleep hold my hand till night's end.

I am but human, having done what I thought is best,
but accomplishments grant me no much-needed rest.
Considering all that I've suffered and all I have lost,
and all that my stubbornness and spitefullnesss cost.

Let me start again and wipe clean my dusty slate,
and walk with an open heart and accept my life's fate.
I can't expect to find sleep during the deepest of night,
When all day long with my subconscious I fight.

So how do I go about finding just the right balance,
of having some fun and still showing common sense?
Perhaps I've focused on too much of the material,
instead of concentrating on the heart and what's real.

Please send a comforter and I promise I won't be a tyrant,
I'll respect their friendship and try to show some restraint.
I've grown tired of being a controlling, bitter, loudmouth.
Perhaps it's time I see what lightening up is really all about.

Perhaps humility and honesty and brokeness is the key,
to restore pleasant dreams and slumber back to me.
Maybe my hope lies in a comforting soul, body, and mind
Could a receptive heart and arms be to me so inclined?

The heavy moon has grown tired of ever illuminating,
the skies of those like me nocturnally contemplating.
I am going to do something a little different this time,
I'm ditching my routine and just hope I've got the spine.

Goodnight my dear Father, I leave you a parting gift,
For the dark tides in my life needed a serious shift.
Here's my tasteless junk food, my useless sleep med,
I'll sleep well tonight, having said prayers to You instead.


by: Kimarie Manhart-Freeman