God, I Just Long To Be With You

Your Child Happily Runs In Trust To You!

Above all TRUST. Trust your Heavenly Father. No matter if it seems silly or terrible, trust him and give it to him!!

We seek whether consciously or subconsciously our true happiness. mainly; full union with God. With me there have been many recreational diversions some innocent and others not so innocent. Over the years these diversions had taken the role of what should have been God and Jesus Christ in my life. And while they gave or seemed to give happiness instead had been a growing cancer.

God and Jesus do not give up!!

Over the past two years especially with the help of Our Savior Jesus Christ, Our Blessed Mother, the Angels and my Guardian Angel, I have turned slowly around back to God.

I have in another article here, posted how with the help of the Angels my life has been changing. So I need not elaborate further.

Instead, just share I hope, not in an embarrassingly sugary way; my joy in running back to the Father.

I see my growth or hope it will be, in two ways: both as child and adult. As a child who trusts and longs to be back with his infinite loving, dear Father. An adult who wants to grow, be responsible on his spiritual growth, so I can be more the child.

Coming from a dysfunctional background and I mean it in no abject way--it was just the way it was in my family.

To escape, I imagined a world of friendly giants who would take me and love me unconditionally. Yet all the time it was around me. With my Guardian Angel, Our Lady and above all; Jesus, and God the Father.

As I have read, or try to read the scriptures, I have found and in prayer how intimate God is with us. And wants to be with us. I try now to pray with him often bringing him any crisis that might pop up. So if out and feeling anxious will say a quick private prayer like in an elevator to myself asking for help. Or when I return home go to my bedroom and tell my father all about what happened. Tell him the successes or failures. I ask him to send graces on friends or those I have been asked to pray for. I bring him my joys too! Like how I enjoyed a song. A beautiful blue sky. Or how I was able to make some one happy. Enjoying a piece of my favorite candy. I even now thank God the Father when coming from the doctor’s office. Thanking him I have the resources to see a doctor.


Courage to Call Our Most Loving God Father.


Recently at Mass before the recitation of the Our Father, the Priest said, “Jesus gives us the permission to pray and with courage we say, “Our Father who art..”

I thought about that later. As a Christian I had always taken it for granted in calling God father. I thought back before Christ it was only a handful of prophets who had a very intimate relationship with God. Now through Christ I can turn to God and call him abba: father. In fact Abba means loving father. This made me appreciate more how I can turn to the creator of the universe and all that is and call him my loving Father with all my heart.

I too remembered what another priest said speaking of the sheer goodness of God; namely, God becoming a helpless baby, one of us. In the form of his only son Jesus. The God of all loved me that much he would come to experience my joys and sufferings. How can I then not turn to him with complete trust?

No matter how trivial or grave the matter, the father is there always with open loving arms waiting to receive me his child. So now more and more I turn to him with everything. As stated above thanking him for everything.


A couple of days ago, I was praying after Mass in front of the Tabernacle, my mind was on a million one things. I then had an interior thought or message: anyway it was, “Your going shopping?” That put my mind back on track. So I told Jesus and God about what food I wanted to get. Your prayers don’t always have to be on the profound.

Yesterday I was walking and was getting dark thoughts about an ethnic group and their country. I felt mad at how they have treated another group of people. I prayed in pain to Jesus and God saying, “I don’t want to think these thoughts. Its not what I’m about. I want to be open as a disciple of Christ to all. My thoughts were bad. But I kept pleading and praying. WOW! I suddenly felt God’s love for those people I was released!!! I said, “Thank you God!”

As I continue to work at my relationship with God the Father, I now carry a pocket in my pocket. I had cut the inner pocket from a pair of sport shorts. Why? To remind me its God’s pocket I want to be in. I guess that comes from my attraction to giants. And reminds me God is my true giant as he is my true Father.

Really, I long not to be stuffed in a cramp pocket but on God, with him as his child. Lean up against his breast and who can rejoice and sing his praises. I don’t sing but if I get to Heaven I’m sure I’ll have that ability!

When not in his pocket, I long to be in his hand jumping up and down with love at being in his presence. Perhaps crawling about the folds of his flowing robes.

I too hope to enjoy the presence of the Father for eternity with my Guardian Angel who has and is a steadfast friend!

Within all my joy of being with the Father. I too never forgetting and constantly praying for those who still are on their journey here on Earth. Charity and love are infinite and constantly grows

I pray and long that in God’s loving mercy I may spend eternity in his presence as his loving child who just wants to rejoice, rejoice in happiness before and with him.


I SAY ONCE MORE


My loving father in Heaven; despite my good intentions I still stray from you and turn toward the attractions of the world. It hurts me that my heart will twist from your son, my Savior Jesus Christ for the things that are contrary to the good of my soul.

Still, I turn back to you in trust. And long to feel the embrace of your arms. I really long for the day Christ will present me to you Father. Please Jesus, may I realize my happiness lays in you alone.

Father, I pine away for you. Every strand of my being truly burns for you. I wait with eager anticipation to stand in your hand. To gaze up at you my father!! Oh, how the very thought causes me to want to detonate in bliss.

I smile at the thought and image of my being placed in your pocket, where I can cuddle up with my supreme joy, you father up against your chest. To dance around singing your glorious praises. To float up and peer out of your pocket at the wonders of Heaven! To settle back down in your pocket where I can in rapture comprehend all your great work. O Father, I hurt so much to be with you!!!

Forgive my thoughtlessness. This I ask and beg through your son my Savior Jesus Christ.

Please God, when can I lay my head against your hand?