Finding Myself Again, Part 4

“That is just it!  I don't have Elliott anymore!  He left me in Rambiar's house, just took off crying when he found out Jade was dead.  He obviously cannot be with me after finding that out!” you exclaim and burst into tears again.

Suddenly patting hands on your back, head, and shoulders surrounds you.  All three of them come around you with soothing words and hands.  You feel so lucky to have nice people to help you-you are not alone anymore.  After a few minutes you are able to control your tears and they ease up to a trickle.  “I do not know how to thank you for this.  I feel so fortunate to have friends like you.”

“Of course, we will always be here for you whenever you need us.  That is what friends are for,” Janine replies.

“Thanks again, it is strange in a sense to all of a sudden not be alone, but very nice!  And I will always be here for all of you as well!”

“We know!  Now…let's talk about some other boys!” Ashley exclaims.  “Or, hey!  We could show you around the rest of the city if you want, meet people.”

“Yeah…but, I don't want everyone thinking that Jade is back, I don't really want to explain this to everyone yet.”

“Good point…hmm…we could disguise you and just point out who people are,” Samantha suggests.

“Great idea!”  You say, eager to get out of this castle for awhile.  “Let's do that!”

Ashley, Samantha, and Janine go raid your closet with you close behind and together you quickly come up with an outfit that will cover you enough to hide who you look like.  You do so with a long dress that has a hood on it, and a high neckline so you can cover your mouth up with it if needed.  Then out you go into the city.  From the front of the castle you see a path in the forest of trees.  You follow Janine, Ashley, and Samantha on the path down the hill from the castle with trees and wonderfully colorful gardens on either side.  Past those, the path forks into three roads, and all go through the city.  There are also small city streets bisecting the three main roads to make the city look like a patchwork of buildings and streets.  The buildings themselves are mostly made of bricks and some of wood.  All of them have glimmering windows and all look very clean and tidy.  In a few places you notice green grass with lots of trees and flowers, those must be gardens or parks.  Going down the middle fork you continue to follow the three of them looking all around while also making sure to keep your face covered.  There is a multitude of people around the city, walking, talking, calling out of the windows, or trying to sell items from their shops on the streets.  You see all ages and types of people, all seemingly happy and joyful with their lives and what is going on around them.  As you quietly watch them all you wish for their lives, so content and seemingly free of pain.

Suddenly Ashley turns into to a side street, and Janine and Samantha follow her so you turn as well.  This time the street is not nearly as wide or full of people.  Close on either side of the path are buildings that only have a few windows with coverings over them to prevent people from looking either in or out.  “Kira, I want to show you my home.” 

“I want to show her my house too!” Janine says.

“If you guys are, then I want to also!” Samantha puts in.

So you get a tour of all three houses, and afterwards they show you around the rest of the city.  At the very end of the tour they show you another house just from the outside.

“I do not know if you want to know, but you will find out eventually,” starts Samantha, “this is Elliott's house.  He lives there with his parents and a younger sister.”

“Huh,” is all you can think of saying to that.

After that, it is getting late and you are getting tired and hungry so all four of you head back to the castle.  “You guys do not have to walk me back, I can find it myself.”

“Don't be funny!  Of course we are going to walk back with you!” Ashley says. 

“Thanks, maybe you can all eat dinner with me.  I do not really know how that goes, or when it is, or what is going to happen with my parents.”

“We will see what is going on,” Ashley says.

Getting back to the castle first you lead them to your room, proud about being able to find it with no help.  You change out of the dress you wore around the city and back into the clothes you were wearing before, the ones Elliott had picked out for you just this morning. 

Looking over at Janine, Samantha, and Ashley you smile and think how lucky you are for them to fall into your lap just as you needed them the most.  A knock sounds at your door.  Walking over you give your friends a strange look, then open it.  It is your mother, father, and Rambiar.  The look in your parents' eyes shows sadness and despair.  Looking at Rambiar you see empathy and sadness as well.  “Hello,” you say to them, not knowing what else kind of greeting would be best.

“Hello Kira,” you mother says almost in a choke, “we were wondering if we could talk a little.”

“Sure.  Where?”

“The main living room, if that is okay with you,” your father tells you.

“Yeah, that is fine.  One second, I just have to tell Janine, Samantha, and Ashley.”

Your mother looks a little surprised and glances into your room to see them looking back at them.  She gives them a strange look, closes her eyes for a second, and then tells them, “Hello girls, how are you doing?”

“We are doing fine.  How about you?” says Ashley with real concern, and Janine and Samantha have the same look. 

“Have been better, but okay.  I will see you girls later.”

“Okay, we will see you later…actually, we were just going to go, right?” Ashley finishes looking at Samantha and Janine.

“Yes, we really should be getting home,” Janine remarks.

“My mom wanted me home awhile ago,” Samantha says as all three get up and go towards the door.  “We will talk with you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sounds good.  Good night,” you tell them as they each give you a hug in turn.  After they leave it is just your mother, father, Rambiar, and you.  After what feels like five minutes of uncomfortable silence you say, “so…should we go to the living room?”

“Yes, that is a good idea, my highnesses, why don't you go ahead and we will meet up with you in just a moment,” Rambiar tells your parents.

“All right Rambiar, we will see you both in a few minutes,” you father replys.

As they move down the hallway Rambiar turns to you and tells you, “Kira, your parents took the news about as well as I could have hoped for.  Both of them were extremely crushed to find out their daughter is gone, this time for good.  However, they did take well to the suggestion of you being Jade's twin.  Hopefully, with time, they will think like that exclusively.  It will just take them some time to get over Jade's death again.  I hope you are able to deal with that even with all the difficulties you have already dealt with.  Will you be okay?” Concern shows through his eyes and along with that is support for you.  With that show of encouragement, and knowing that you now have some good friends to be there for you, you know you will be fine.

“Yes, Rambiar, I think that I will be just fine.  I know it is not going to be easy to deal with for anybody, but I believe that I have the support that will help me now.  Shall we go?”

“Good, and yes, you do have people here to help you, you only have to ask.  Let's go.”  So you lead Rambiar out of the room, he closes the door, and together you move down the hall towards the main living room.  As you move into the room you are suddenly and almost physically jolted by the rush of memories from your first day here…Elliott with his hands on the sides of your face saying calming things to you, taking over telling your parents the terrible things about loosing your memory, Elliott and his reassuring glace as you leave this room with your mother…suddenly you find both of you parents and Rambiar looking at you in question.  You must have been just standing there staring off into space.  “Sorry,” you mumble out and continue into the room with Rambiar leading you this time to the couch across from your parents. 

As you sit down you look over at them and notice what a difference from the last time you saw them in this room.  The other time their spirits were so joyous and alive.  They had almost radiated power, happiness, and confidence.  Now, they are almost huddled together on the couch with hands clasped together, almost in a way to feed on each other's strength.  Both look pale, drained, and depleted almost.  You immediately feel terrible, you are the reason they have such pain in their lives. 

         Rambiar begins things off in a gentle voice, “My king, why don't you begin things?  Just say what you feel and want to say.”

         “Okay…Kira,” he starts and you see the strain it takes to say your name instead of Jade's, “we just want to say that we learned of your past, and I will not lie, it is not easy for us because when we look at you we see our Jade.  However, since she was missing for so long we did get to a certain level of acceptance in that matter.  You being Jade's twin sister, Kira, will be how we see you so we will love you like a long lost daughter that finally came home.  Unfortunately, it is not going to be an easy adjustment, but we will get there, I promise you that,” he says, crying at the end of his speech.  Your mother is crying as well, and when you brush your hand across your eyes you find that your eyes are tearing up as well.  Then your mother speaks in a choked-up voice,

         “Kira, it will come, the love is already there, we just need time to get used to it.  The moment we saw you we loved you.”

         “I love you too mother and father!  It is going to be an adjustment for all of us I know, but I am glad we can talk about this and get it out truthfully.  I am so glad for all of you!” Then you get up and go over to have a three-person hug with all three of you bawling openly.  When the tears ease up you turn back to Rambiar and tell him, “and I want to thank you so much for helping me, and more importantly, being here for me.”

         “Anytime Kira, I will always be here for you,” he says solemnly, and you give him a hug as well.  When you separate he adds to all of you, “Now, if we are up to it, dinner is ready.  I would suggest eating some because I am not sure how much you have eaten today so far.”

         Standing up, and seemingly just a little more composed and back to normal your mother says, “yes, we should go have dinner, help revive us.”  Obediently, everyone follows her out of the room and down into the dinner room where you shared breakfast with Elliott this morning.  There, you try to stop yourself from going back to memories of him, it seems like everything here reminds you of your short but perfect time with him.  How will you ever get over him, as you must, if you keep thinking of him?  As you follow your mother's guidance and sit down adjacent from your father and across from her you make a resolution to stop thinking about Elliott from now on.

         You almost keep the pact all the way through dinner as you listen to your parents and Rambiar talk about things going on in the kingdom and city.  Then your mom asks, “so, what you did with your friends today?” 

“Well, they thought it would be interesting if I toured the city, so they helped me pick out an outfit to conceal my face and led me around Everland a little.  Also, I got to see all of their houses in the city, and then we came back and talked a little.  I actually had a really good time.”

“That is wonderful, and actually, that was smart of you to cover your face.  We do not want the people to see you until we can determine what to tell them.  I am actually thinking that I will announce the arrival of you as Jade's twin who was lost at birth and is now found, the whole story would be a little much to explain and have them all understand.  I hope you understand why I have to do that Kira,” you father tells you.

“Of course, I also think that is better to tell that to everyone.  Only Samantha, Ashley, Janine, and we know.  That is for the best.”  You tell him, totally agreeing with his idea.  The thought of the whole city population knowing you are from another universe and am in their dead princess' body is not a fun thought.

“And Elliott, however I trust him totally, don't you dear?” your father asks you with a questioning look.

“Yes, of course, I just forgot about him,” you say hastily, not wanting to think of him as anything else than just a solider in your father's army.  Your parents and Rambiar give you a strange look, they all know about Elliott's and your past, but do not say anything after the look you give their way.  You are determined, Elliott will only be a memory. 

You succeed in just that, you almost completely forget about Elliott and the two strange and unbelievable days that you had when you first were introduced to Everland, your parents King Victor and Queen Kathryn, the wizard Rambiar, and your closest friends Janine, Ashley, and Samantha.  Of course, there are times you think back to that time, it will always be a remembrance of yours.  Every once in awhile you think about the wonderful times and almost wish that you could go back to that, or what would have happened if he never found out about you being Kira instead of Jade.  And sometimes you think, “does he know my real name now?  Does he think about me?  Has he gone on with his life and forgotten about me?”  Then you think to yourself that you cannot mourn over something that you have no control over and cannot change, and block those thoughts from your mind. 

You slowly adjust to the life of being Princess Kira.  You have your friends, your parents, a few servants, and the entire kingdom of Everland to explore and learn how to rule after your parents pass on.  Life becomes wonderful and fun and you become happy and content.  Six months after arriving at Everland you have never seen Elliott and only have a thought of him once in a great while.  Long ago you accepted, in the most part, that Elliott has moved on the same as you have and have to.

One day, six months after coming to Everland, you are walking in the woods by yourself just enjoying the nice day and thinking about events that have happened in recent days.  Mostly, that guy that who was looking at you in town. It was strange, you know he was looking at you because whenever you looked over at him, trying to get a good look at him, he would look away and pretend to be reading.  It was strange, the only part of his face you ever saw was his deep brown eyes staring at you over his book-the rest of his face was hidden behind his book and under his hood. 

Coming back to the present time you notice it is starting to get very cloudy and say to yourself, “I hope it does not start rain, I wish those clouds would go away.”  A few minutes later you observe it is getting light out again, and as you look up you see that all of the clouds are parting and moving away.  You say, “that's strange…whatever,” and do not think any more of it. 

The next day Janine, Ashley, and Samantha come up to the castle to visit you after your classes.  “So Kira, what do you feel like doing now?” Ashley asks you.

“I do not know, how about hanging out at The Unicorn?”

“Sounds good to me,” Ashley says while Samantha and Janine nod their heads in agreement.  The Unicorn is a restaurant with tables and chairs inside and outside, and is the popular hangout.  It is a pretty hot day out even with a few clouds hanging around in the sky.  Getting to The Unicorn you say, “do you want to sit outside?”

“Yeah, it is probably even warmer inside!” Janine states.  So you all sit down at a table outside thankful for the umbrella that provides a little shade.  A waitress comes over and you all order drinks with a snack to share.  As soon as she comes back with the drinks and food a giant wind whips through the town almost tipping over the table.

“Wow!  This sure is some wind!  Maybe we should move inside,” Samantha comments.

“We will probably melt then!” you say, “I wish it were cooler and the wind would die down!”  You all start to stand up and gather your food and drinks when the wind stops blowing and the temperature seems to drop fifteen degrees.  The four of you stop in your tracks and stare at each other.  Then Janine, Samantha, and Ashley give each other a look, seemingly that they are all thinking the same thing. Afterwards Samantha says,

“Hold on a second Kira, we will be right back.”

“Okay,” you say carefully, very curious about what is going on.  They set their drinks down and move across the street.  Feeling kind of stupid you sit down and try to casually look around while sipping your drink.  Suddenly, you feel like you are being watched.  Looking around more intently while still trying to be casual you spot the person.  It is the same guy as yesterday, this time he is inside The Unicorn by the window and looking out right at you.  Today he is wearing another jacket with a hood, but instead of reading a book, after he sees you looking at him he bends over and pretends to be writing.  Even though you cannot see much of him, you can just tell that it is the same guy, he has the same eyes and build…a very familiar eyes and build you think, but from where?  You really want to know who he is, but as you are getting up the nerve to see him Janine, Samantha, and Ashley come back to the table and sit down.  “So…what's up?”  You ask forgetting the guy and a little nervous about what they were talking about.

“Well…did anyone ever talk to you about Jade's special…abilities?” Ashley asks.

“What do you mean special abilities?” You think then reply, “I have never heard about anything like that before.”

“Well, I do not know if we should be the ones to tell you, maybe we should all talk to you parents about this,” Samantha tells you, “we should probably talk to them first to tell them what we found out, but then they should be the ones to tell you.”

“No, tell me!  Please!  I think I would rather hear from you,” you say.

“We are sorry Kira, we just think it would be best to find out from them, sorry,” Janine says, with all of them truly looking very sorry about the situation.

“Okay, I am sorry I pushed you.  I guess I am just very bewildered about what you guys are talking about.”

“We understand.  I would feel the same way!  Would you want to go now to ask?” Janine asks you.

“Actually, if you guys do not mind, I would like to get back to the castle for that and because it is probably getting close to dinnertime,” you say, feeling bad for lying because you really just wanted to find out what they were talking about. 

As soon as you get inside you ask one of the guards, “Where are my parents?”

“They are in the dinner room, it is almost time for dinner,” one of them replies.

“Perfect,” you say and Janine, Samantha, and Ashley follow you as you walk towards the dinning room.

Just your parents are at the table when you race in with your friends right behind you.  “Mom, dad, they need to talk to you for a second,” you announce bluntly pointing at Ashley, Janine, and Samantha.

“What, dear?” you father says, “what about?”

“Me I guess,” you reply.  Then pushing them ahead of you towards your parents you whisper, “go on, talk to them.  I will wait over here.”

“My highnesses,” Janine starts, getting courage, “we have something to tell you.”  After that the five of them go into a huddle with their backs towards you and seem to whisper amongst themselves forever! You hear things like “Jade,” and “power,” and “nature,” and “gotten,” and “spirit.”  You did not know what to think and am just about to interrupt them to find out what is going on when they stop talking and turn to face you. 

“Kira, honey, please come sit down,” you mother tells you.  Then adds, “do not worry, this is not a bad thing that we are going to tell you!  It is actually a very special and interesting development.”

“Okay,” you say, still nervous about what is going on.  You sit down across from your mother and adjacent to your father.  Janine, Samantha, and Ashley sit down as well at the table. 

“Okay, now Kira, Jade had some…special talents that we never told you about because we were not sure you would develop them.  Being the Princess of the Elves, she could change and direct things of nature: the weather, water, wind, clouds, the temperature, and animals.  Now, from what your friends tell us we have the suspicion that you might have inherited that gift,” you father tells you.

Control of nature?  You think back, and remember the day walking in the woods when the clouds parted for you, and today when the wind stopped and the temperature dropped.  Could this be true? 

“Okay,” you say, very confused about it actually, then add, “I do not understand how I control that, though.”

“Whenever you wish or order a part of nature to do something, it happens.  Like Janine was telling me, today you wished it would cool down and that the wind would slow down, or something like that.  Then it happened, it is as easy as that.  However, from now on, you must watch what you say, the smallest thing can have enormous consequences!”

“Are you sure that I have that?  I mean, what if it was just a coincidence today?”

“Well, I guess we could test it,” your father says, “why don't you wish for it to start raining?  If it happens then it cannot be a coincidence since the sky is clear.”

“Okay...,” you say feeling kind of foolish, “I wish it would rain!”

For a second nothing happened, then suddenly, dark clouds roll in to cover the sun, and a light rain begins to fall.  Everyone but you race to the window to look outside and watch.  Then, they all slowly turn around to stare at you as you continue to stare outside at the clouds and rain.  You just stare outside for a long time, watching the light rain quickly become harder, and listen to the pitter-patter on the windows.

Not paying attention to anyone else you get up from the table and, taking your time, walk over to the window.  When you get there you look around outside at the beautiful scenery getting rained on.  You do not know what to think, part of you thinks what a wonderful gift you have!  It is so awesome to have such control over something so powerful!  You think of what you can all do with such an ability!  The other part of you reflects on the gigantic responsibility that comes with this.  From now on you have to really watch what you say, if anything weather-like hurts this place it is on your shoulders from now on.  However, deep inside you, you are not quite as worried and are more contemplating the wonder of this, and you are just trying to get over the shock of finding out about your talent. 

Suddenly, as you are deep in thought, you notice a movement in the bushes.  Concentrating on that motion you notice it is the guy who has been watching you in town!  And now he is here, at your own home?  You get furious, how dare he invade your personal privacy!  Your fury grows, makes you forget everything, and you run from the room, through the main hallway, and out the front door towards the trees where he is hiding.  Once you get close you slow your speed and circle around behind him, then little by little move towards him like a tiger after it's prey.  The closer you get the more you try to move with nature and make no sound.  When you are about a foot away you put your hands on your hips and call out, “who are you and what the hell are you doing here?”

He must jump about a foot up, then quick as a flash turns around and gets to his feet.  The figure of him looms above you-tonight he is wearing dark navy blue pants and a matching navy blue jacket with the hood up.  The hood shades his face, giving him an eerie look.  He takes a step towards you so you have to lean your head back even more to look at his face, however you are not scared at all.  You stand your ground and say again, “who are you and what the hell are you doing here?  You better answer me, if you do not I will yell to them and they will come and make you tell me!” you are talking about your parents and friends who are calling for you, they must have followed you outside and do not know where you went to. 

For awhile he does nothing.  You are just about to demand again when he reaches up and pulls his hood back.  Your senses are immediately assaulted with rich brown hair, deep brown eyes, and a beautiful angular face…you think that he looks like a fallen angel.  After the initial shock it registers…Elliott!  Your stalker is Elliott! 

“Elliott!” you stumble out, taking a step back in the disbelief of seeing him here, and the fact that he has been watching you, “what…what…” you cannot seem to find words.  It is such a surprise!  Elliott is the last person you expect to see hiding in the trees in your front lawn!  You had forgotten about him, moved on, and now seeing him here, his hair getting wet and raindrops dripping down his gorgeous face, looking down at you with such…seriousness in his eyes, makes all of those feelings rush back.  Almost like all the feelings for Elliott were up in a secret chamber in your heart, and now seeing him looking so incredibly sexy and wet opens that place and the feelings overpower you.

Your heart seems to stop, and at the same time race.  You close your eyes for a second and put your hand to your heart trying to slow the beating and get your thoughts together.  You finally think you are able to speak, keeping your eyes closed you say, “Elliott…what are you doing here?  What do you want from me?  You seriously surprised me!”  Then you open your eyes and look up into his, and for a second you think you see a bit of hurt in them, but it is quickly gone and they are blank again, but still he does not talk.  “Please!  Say something!  Why have you been watching me?  Why are you here?”

He finally shows some sign of change when he closes his eyes and heaves a big sigh.  Then he totally surprises you when he covers his face with his hands and his shoulders start to shake, almost like he is crying!  “Elliott!” you say and move toward him putting your hands on his shoulders and squeeze them supportingly, “what is wrong?” 

He tenses up when you put your hands on him, but after a few seconds he relaxes and takes him hands down from his face.  The only way you can tell that he has been crying are his red eyes, the tears mix with the rain drops running down his face.  He finally speaks, “I cannot tell you how happy that has made me.”  At your questioning look he goes on, “I have been waiting for such a long time to feel your hands on me again.”  You immediately take your hands off of his shoulders and step back, surprised at the feelings in his voice.  “Please let me explain…After I left Rambiar's house so long ago I was devastated!  The woman that I cared deeply for was dead, and in her body was your spirit, I did not think I could ever look at you again without thinking of her and feeling the loss of her over and over again.  However, after I was able to think logically again I could not help but miss you, I had already partially gotten over Jade before I found you, and your personality captured me in a way that was so unique and special that I felt horrible to loose it.  But, the image issue consumed me-I still did not think I could stand being around you even though I wanted to.  So, I made myself stay away and slowly the pain of being away from you, and Jade, ebbed away until there was just a dull emptiness that was livable with, so I thought. 

“I never knew that I could want to be with someone so much until I met you.  So much that one time when I caught a glimpse of you in town with your friends I realized that when I saw you I was seeing you and not Jade, and wanted to then be with you.  That was when I understood that I had to be with you again, had to try and get you back.  I did not know if you wanted to be with me, however, that is the stupid reason that I started sort of spying on you.  I was jealous and wanted you only for myself even though chances were that you were seeing someone else.  I am hoping that that is not true, and that you will consider taking me back again because I know you are the only person I have loved and will love.  Now, before I go I must tell you that I will never forget Jade, but you are the one I love and will always love.  Please let me know when you want to give me your answer.” Then he turns around and starts to walk away.

You are stunned, but know what you are going to tell him, so quickly you run after him and with a hand on his shoulder stop and turn him around, “wait!  I know my answer,” and lean up to kiss him.  You pour into the kiss all the emotions that had flooded back into your heart you thought were gone for good.  You forget everything as his mouth assaults yours, even that your parents and friends are still out looking for you.  At least you did forget until you hear a giggle, and a voice you think sounds like Samantha's say, “we found her, she is fine!”  Even after hearing it and knowing that they are all going to be there watching you and Elliott you ignore it, and just concentrate on feeling and knowing that everything is going to be wonderful after all.