A teen girl content with her life realizes that it is much more than what she thought. |
Hello fellow writers. This is the start of a story that's been roaming around my head for some time now. It still needs a lot of work and research but I wanted to post it so I could get some feedback. I know where I want to go but I'm still playing around with it. Any ideas and comments will be appreciated. Thank you for your time! S. R. Brunson. Tough Decisions I sat at the kitchen table watching my dad walk back and forth in front of the sink in deep thought. He'd been doing this for at least five minutes. Every time I tried to talk to him he would put up his hand to silence me. I'd given up two minutes ago and decided to just wait it out. He did this periodically. I think it came with the territory when you're a single father of a female teen. This always happened when he had to make decisions that normally a mother would make. This decision, however, was a lot tougher on him than my first period was. And I'll just say that wasn't the most comfortable of situations. His meditation had begun after our full on debate about where I would be spending my summer. Usually, I would spend my vacation laying around the house or playing softball at the Y. But since my dads dream is to be a super rockstar, my plans have changed. Dad has been in a band with three of his buddies for as long as I can remember and they finally got a big break. Some artist that isn't quite a megastar themselves, invited dads band to be his opening act and of course they jumped at the idea. Who wouldn't? The tour would mean great publicity and national recognition on television and in magazines. My dad is stoked and I'm happy for him. The only thing I'm not so thrilled about is my dad’s idea that I would be going on tour with them. Before my dad went totally noncommunicable on me, I had been telling him what my idea was. "I can just stay at home. Watch over the place. And maybe get a job. I know the Y is hiring lifeguards and they love me down there so I'm a shoo-in. That way the house will be nice and dust free when you get back and I'll have enough money to buy a car by the end of summer." Dad sighed and put down the cup of coffee he'd been ready to sip. He looked at me slowly and shot me a smug smile. "That's not going to happen," he said and raised his cup back to his lips. "What?" I asked innocently. "You don't think I'll have enough saved by then?" "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Kaia, don't play dumb with me," he muttered. "You're not staying home alone all summer and that's the end of it." He gulped the rest of his coffee. "And New Yorkers don't need cars." I flopped down into the chair across from him. "What? You don't trust me?" I asked wide eyed. "I trust you completely," he said, looking at me directly in the eye. I knew that he meant it. "Who I don't trust, are the eight million other New Yorkers living in this city, and I've been living here long enough to know not to." I rolled my eyes at his wise words. "But daddy..." I began to whine but he got up from his chair to wash his dishes, obviously not willing to listen. But, I got up and followed him anyway. "Daddy, I..." I began again before dad turned to me suddenly splashing soap suds on my shirt. "Look, Kaia. I know you would rather spend all summer sleeping till two in the afternoon and eating until you were bloated but this is important to me. No matter how much you whine, this tour is still going to happen and you’re not staying here by yourself. Sorry, but there's no other option." With that he turned back to the dishes in the sink. I opened my mouth to speak but couldn't find anything to say. At times like this I wish I had close friends that I could stay with. But I'm more of a loner when I'm not hanging with my dad. I'm not an outcast or anything, I do have some friends. I’m just not close enough, to any of them, to feel comfortable spending a summer at their house. Defeated I walked back to the kitchen table and sank into a rickety chair. I reached up to play with the salt and pepper shakers dad and I bought from one of the street vendors several years back. That had been during a great summer vacation. I sighed, thinking about the summer that lay before me. I began feeling lightheaded as I thought about the long days ahead of me in a cramped bus with five middle aged men. I've known all of them for years now and considered most of my dads band-mates like uncles but that didn't mean I wanted to share a cot with them. Leo and Mike were pretty cool to talk to from time to time but Leo always ended up talking about his kids and Mike always had old coffee on his breath. Matt was probably the easiest to get along with seeing as he hardly ever talked. He mostly sat in corners alone reading withered old books. But the weirdest of them all, and when I say weirdest I mean it in every aspect of them all, is Jeff. I always catch him staring at me and I can feel him staring even when I’m not looking. The worst part of it all is that he’s dad’s best friend. How am I supposed to tell him his best friend is a possible perv? It's because of my dad’s allusiveness that he hasn't noticed himself. I think telling my dad that his best friend and manager is a pervert would make it impossible for him to continue business with him and his band is his everything. I couldn't do that to him. Thinking of being in reaching distance of Jeff for the next three months made me shiver. Where would I sleep? I'm sixteen years old. I can't lay up under my dad all night for safety, no matter how much I would want to. There had to be some way I could get out of this. Tossing the last of my powdered donut into my mouth, a light clicked on in my head. It wasn't the best idea and if I had any other option I wouldn't consider it. But it was my only hope for having any sort of vacation. "Dad?" I muttered softly. He shut off the water and grabbed the towel to dry his hands. "What is it Butterfly?" "There is one more option." He sighed. "You're not going to stay with Ms. Rosie. She's damn near eighty years old. She can barely take care of herself." "That's not what I was going to say," I cleared up. He was talking about our next door neighbor. She's the sweetest old women and what I would have loved to have in a grandmother if I'd had one. But I wouldn't burden her. I'm a handful. "What then?" he asked, waiting. I took a deep breath. I knew this was going to lead to another long conversation or argument. It always did. But I had to give it a shot. "I could go stay with mom." That short little sentence is what led to the great debate going on in his head. The mere mention of her brought out only the same three emotions. Panic, rage and depression. After he had been quiet for too long, I snuck a peak at him. He was just staring at the floor. After a few more minutes of discomfort I got up from the table and walked over to him. Touching him on the arm, I said," Dad?" He jerked out of his reverie and looked at me. I couldn't read his expression but I know he wasn't happy. "I don't think that's a good idea." Confused, I asked why not. I wanted him to give me a good reason other than how he didn't like her. He shrugged. "It's just too late of a notice. She probably already has her summer planned out." Dad started to nervously wipe down the counters with the dish rag. I crossed my arms and watched him for a moment before I retaliated. "She's a kindergarten teacher in a town with a population of less than 2,000. She spends her summer working part time as a children’s librarian. How busy can she be? Plus, you and I both know that she would love to have me." Saying that made me think of how happy my mother would be to know that I would rather spend my three months of freedom with her than with dad. I visited her for two weeks in the summer every year. That's the agreement her and my dad had come to when she had started coming around. She practically begged for me to spend at least one holiday out of the year with her but I refused. Just because she finally decided to show her face doesn't mean she gets to take away some of the best times I have with my dad. And dad definitely will not travel anywhere near Gardenia with me to visit her. Just knowing how thrilled she would be for me to come, almost made me change my mind about the whole idea. Then I thought about Jeff. "Will you at least ask her for me?" I asked. Dad knows I don't like talking to mom. He doesn't either really but since he's the adult he has to make the sacrifice. Dad still looked uneasy and didn't answer me. I sighed," It won't hurt to ask. If she says that she's too busy reading children’s stories, I'll give up and just agree to going on the tour with you." He looked up at me but he still seemed unsure. He knew that there was no way mom wouldn't allow me to come. She would probably drive overnight to come pick me up if I asked her. The thought of spending hours in a tight space with her made me shiver almost as bad as I did when I thought of getting on that tour bus. "Are you sure you want to do this, Kaia?" dad asked me softly. The way he asked me was as if I told him I wanted to join the army. "You can hardly last the normal two weeks you spend there. How do you expect to last three months?" "Don't know," I shrugged. I had been asking myself that question. Normally, when I visited the small vibrant town of Gardenia, I was ready to go within the first hour of getting there. Mom is too much to take in. She's too damn nice and expects things to be ordinary between the two of us. And considering the circumstances, we're much more than ordinary. Mom left when I was two years old. I didn't even know her until she appeared on the porch of our brownstone on my thirteenth birthday. With a gift in her hand, like that would ease the situation. My dad never told me the reason why she left other than they found that they were too different. She wasn't completely absent though. She sent gifts and cards on every birthday and holiday. Weird gifts like necklaces with strange charms on them, and old books I never opened. I never questioned why I didn't hear from my mother until I started kindergarten and realized that moms were made up of much more than occasional presents. Dad acts like he hates her now but I know that it’s all a front. He's never actually said this but I can tell by the way he allows her to affect him. I can't imagine how he ever loved her though, probably because he never ever talks about her. I can't really tell how mom feels about dad because she doesn't talk about him either. Every time I bring him up she gets quiet or changes the subject. I've tried on multiple occasions to get the story out of dad about what happened when they split up but he refused to talk about it. It would be really nice to know why mom left and why she felt it was okay to leave me behind. Dad’s vague explanation kept me wondering but I hardly missed her. Dad was everything I needed and then some. He made sure I had whatever I needed and mostly what I wanted to the point that it didn't spoil me rotten. If there was ever anything he didn't know the answer to he would run across the hall to grab Ms. Rosie. All of our adventures in parenting have made us closer. He's my best friend and I know that's not cool, but I couldn't be happier having it any other way. ......................................................................................................................................... Like I had predicted, mom was excited about having me come. She couldn't wait, is what my dad said. His eyes were red and strained as he told me this. I'd heard him yelling when he was in his room on the phone with her but I couldn't make it out. "Fantastic," I muttered but I felt like crap. A week later, one week before dad’s tour bus was scheduled to take off; he drove me to the airport to catch my plane. We sat side by side in chairs facing runway, watching the planes take off. The attendant had announced that we only had ten minutes until the flight boarded. I was counting every second, dreading the moment I would have to leave my dad. We'd never been away from each other for this long. Other than the two weeks I spent at mom's house every other year, I never really went anywhere. Dad had put me in summer camp once when I was eight and I had cried so much from being homesick that Dad had to come get me the same night of the day he dropped me off. He'd never tried that again. And other than the few times I'd spent a night at a friend’s house, I'd never been away from him. Dad and I traveled together. We've seen the world together. I can't remember a time when dad had a regular nine to five job. Not unless you can count the time he worked as a bartender in order to get a guaranteed spot for the band during Local Talent Thursdays. And that only lasted for a month. Dad makes his money from writing. He ghostwrites songs and sells them to record labels that make them into hits. He doesn't get any public recognition for it but he gets paid very well from it. He says it's not his favorite thing to do at times but we have to make a living somehow. And the hundred dollars or so he wins at talent shows doesn't really pay the rent. Lately, though he's eased up on writing for other artists and has been focusing more on his career. Since dad has such a freelance job he gets to go wherever he wants, whenever he wants. And he takes me with him. We've been to exotic places like the Caribbean and South America and charismatic places like Japan and San Francisco. I have a huge scrapbook full of pictures of us all over the world. Pictures starting when I was just five years old ending only two months ago when we had visited Washington, DC. I've been everywhere with him, except Gardenia. When I had first started going to Gardenia to visit mom, I asked my dad to go with me. I didn't want to be alone with her and I thought him being with me would ease the situation. He let me down as easily as he could. Even though I was only thirteen, I could see how hard it would be for him so I didn't push it. I tried to weasel out of going at all but he insisted that I go, stating that I needed time with her because I was getting older. Becoming a woman. I took it that he just wanted some time to himself. Nevertheless, I hardly made it through a week without seeing my dad. Without having him making my favorite breakfast on Saturday's or ten feet away as I slept, I didn't know how to maintain. I guess I would one day have to get used to that but I'm only sixteen, I have time. "Are you going to be alright, baby?" dad asked me breaking through my thoughts and interrupting the silence. I shrugged watching another plane slowly make its way down the runway. "Will you?" He reached his hand around my arms and he squeezed my shoulder. "I know I'm going to miss you." I looked at him and smiled. "I'm going to miss you too daddy, but you're going on a tour across America. It's going to be a blast." "I wish you were coming with me," he stated. "A few of the cities we're playing, we haven't been to together yet. You could get some good pictures..." "Nice try, daddy," I smirked. "But I think it's too late to change my mind. My flight boards in five minutes." "Promise me that if anything happens that you're uncomfortable with, you'll call me. I don't care where I am or what I'm doing, I'll come and get you," he told me with his serious voice. "Dad, what could possibly happen in Gardenia? It's the most perfect town in America. They probably haven't had a crime there since 1952 and the only thing people worry about is brown spots on their lawn," I joked. He looked at me without a glint of humor in his eyes. "Promise me, Kaia. If anything happens, you'll let me know. Okay?" I nodded although I was confused by his seriousness. "Yes, I- I promise." He sat back in his chair and seemed to relax a little. "Make sure you try to get along with your mom. I know she's not your favorite person but-..." "But what?" I egged him on. "But she does have some good qualities about her," he managed to say. It looked like it pained him to say anything good about her. "You two might actually get along if you let your guard down." I didn't know what to say. I just stared him with my mouth opened wide. He'd never said anything nice about mom and seemed to enjoy hearing about my dislike of her. It seemed like he didn't want me to get close to her. So, to hear him tell me to let my guard down and learn her 'good qualities' was a shock. "FLIGHT 273 IS NOW BOARDING. FLIGHT 273 IS NOW BOARDING." The announcement went over the load speaker, letting me know that my vacation in hell was now beginning. I looked back at the gate and watched my fellow travelers check their tickets. They all looked excited and eager for the trip ahead. A lot of people had someone traveling with them or a big bag of goodies to keep them occupied. All I had brought was my IPod and I was sure to get tired of that after the first hour. Plus, music wasn't enough to keep all the thoughts from swimming around in my head. Like, how these next three months were going to go. I couldn't stay cooped up in my room for the entire trip like I normally do. Dad and I hadn't budged from our seats, we weren't eager to leave each other. "Make sure you call me everyday." I smirked. "I can't do that." "Why not?" "It wouldn't be cool for you to be getting calls from your daughter everyday. You're supposed to be a self imposed rockstar." He rolled his eyes like only a middle aged man with a teenage daughter could. "I don't care what anybody thinks. I'm a dad first, okay?" I smiled because I was extremely amused. I knew the men in his band just as well as he did and they would definitely pick on him. Everybody except Leo who probably wouldn't be able to get off the phone with his kids long enough to notice. "Okay." They announced the flight once more and we finally got my things together and walked toward the gate. Dad enveloped me in the same bear hug that has always been warm and secure to me. To know that this type of love and safety would be hundreds of miles away for three months was frightening. "I love you, butterfly," he murmured into my hair, using the nickname he said he'd given me at birth. He said I'd made his heart flutter. I squeezed him one last time before letting go. "I love you more." "Impossible," he said tapping my nose. "Be a good girl for your mom?" "Impossible," I said jokingly. He chuckled. "Here, take this," he said and handed me a tote I didn't realize he'd been carrying. "What's this?" I asked opening it up to reveal a load of my favorite snacks. Much more than I could eat in one sitting. "Whoa." Dad shrugged. "You know how your mom is. She never has anything good to eat when you visit and you end up coming home starving. I figure this can hold you over and if not, I'll send you another box full when you need me to." I gave my dad another hug, smiling from ear to ear. It was nice to know that he would still try to take care of me when he was miles away. He was right, all mom had to eat was organically grown everything and she ate like a bird. I would come home a size zero if it wasn't for his bag of munchies. "Excuse me, miss. If you plan to fly, you'll have to board now," the flight attendant interrupted our hug to say. "Okay, sorry," I said blushing in embarrassment. This lady probably thought I was pathetic taking so long to say goodbye to my dad. "Call me as soon as you land," dad said giving me one last kiss on the forehead. "Alright," I agreed trying to hold back my tears. "Bye." I had to force myself to move my legs toward the gate. Stepping over the threshold, I could feel that this was the beginning of a long summer. There was no turning back now. I stole one last look at my dad and he waved goodbye with a sad smile on his face. I tried my best to look cheerful for him but he knows me better than that. A tear slipped down my face as I made my way to the plane and I quickly wiped it away. It wasn't like I was going to be living in Gardenia forever but I was feeling like my dad just lost a custody battle. All I could do now is count down the days until I could go home. Please don't forget to rate and review! Also, check out Much More Than Ordinary Chapter 2, which is already up!! Thanks! |