The Dream

Somehow I have failed you
I hoped you'd choose me
I give all that I have
Were we not meant to be?
The dreams I've been dreaming at times slip away
And my sky full of sunshine turns cloudy and gray
Am I not enough?
Does our love not grow?
With the good comes the bad
And I have much more to show
Than holes in my heart
And tears on my sheet
From these feelings of helplessness
I know as defeat.
It makes my heart happy just thinking of you
And our dreams of the future
I hope still hold true
I pray every day that we can hold on
That we're living the dream
Before the dream is gone.
The pain and the sadness are taking away
From the beauty of us that we knew yesterday.

I am sorry I failed you
I do try my best
I know that you love me no less than the rest.
You have two separate lives
Sometimes the first must prevail
But you make time for me
So my heart doesn't ail.

Seems like a lifetime I've waited for you
I'll wait even more if that's what I must do
Two hearts became one
Two brains did the same
And nothing's your fault
I take the blame.
I say I'm not special
You say that's not true
I never could judge you for the things that you do
I can be a burden, and still you've been kind
I understand why your choices sometimes leave me behind
I understand why I'm always the one to get hurt
You are sparing all others because they have more worth.
Not that I don't, not to you anyway
But my own comes and goes with my sunshine and gray.

I wish I were more special
I wish I'd done better
I don't know where I failed you
But it just doesn't matter.
The point is I have
And for that I am sad
You are the happiest years of my life that I've had.
Promises made to someone like me
Sometimes are broken, as they might be
I've never deserved you
And so I thank God from above
I am lucky to have you in my life,
And your love.

You say I am beautiful and playful and smart
If those things were the truth
We would not be apart.
I thought that you'd be here once you were free
I was foolish in thinking too much of me.
The emptiness hurts
I am numb without you
So afraid I will lose you
Please, what can I do?
I never could win
Can't get anything right
I just let you down
I am losing the fight.
My lifetime with you I'm afraid I won't see
Will I find my pot of gold?
Will I ever have those golden years with you as we grow old?

Questions unanswered and reasons unknown
Bring me confusion and fear of being alone.
Your fear of the problems that never will be
Could be holding you back
Please, have faith in me.
We will be fine
There are things you must do
I know you are needed
And this much is true-
I always will be here when you return
With arms open wide and a love that still burns.
I'd be so thankful for your being here
That nothing could get in the way
Of living the happiest life with you
Each and every day.

If you don't want me in your life
I fully understand
Maybe I'm not what you want
Nor is the life that we had planned.
I cannot live without you
I don't want to just exist
And I can't live with the agony of wondering what I missed.
If I never have you
I will lose my zest for living
Without you I have nothing
But a world cold and unforgiving.

Yes, I am hurting
You witness my pain
And you do try to save me when I cry out in vain
You can make things better
Please throw me a line
I'm alone and I'm drowning in these troubles of mine.
Don't let my hope fade as time passes by
I hope for the change, though I never know why
The change doesn't come that will stop all the pain
And each morning I wake up exactly the same.
My nights are so restless,
Eyes swollen from crying
My days are so empty some feel like I'm dying.
Worry is love, and I pray you will act
It's still not too late to get the old "me" back.

A broken heart will mend in time
With love it can be unbroken
So in my heart I'm holding tight
Three words you've often spoken.
I know you are there with your heart and your love
I believe in the future, I believe God above
Has brought us this far because He meant us to be
I will never give up on the dream
You and me.