I'm Telling.

    Telling people os the hardest, hardest, worst part. But only people I really know. The look in their eyes when you tell them that your happiness is fake. Disbelief. Anger. Pity... It's the pity that I can't stand. That and when they ask if I want to talk, that they are there for me, etc. I know. I know. But... I can't. I don't trust people. Not unless I'm postive it won't get around. Kelsey. Charlie. Yasi. Stina. That's about it for when I'm "dying" to talk. I keep my sisters in the loop, but no details.
    But there are some people I feel like I have to tell. My Momma Gray, who's known me since this all started, always thinking me such a happy girl. A few teachers who have been with me for always, letting me put my head down in class, giving me hugs when they saw that I needed them. They've watched me grow up. The ways they've helped me, things they've done for me. I just don't want to see it in their eyes when I tell them. Confusion. Disappointment. If you think that you're upset, imagine, for one second, what I'm going through. I'm telling you because I love you. I don't want your pity. I don't care if you're mad. Just... don't leave me alone...