The Explorer by Ichben Einberliner

Today you are an explorer.

What do you explore?

Where do you go to do this exploring?

What are the consequences?



World count: 808



Today I am a troubled explorer exploring a troubled mind. I don’t know what to do or say when exploring this place but I know I have to do something because I know I will surely die if I do nothing.



This place, this world, this mind is so unforgiving. It is filled with madness and hate, madness and suffering and madness and chaos. Lightning and thunder are my constant companions in my travels and I can’t stand the rain drops pounding on my head. I can’t stand being in a place like this, but I know I have to be here. I know a job has to be done because I am the explorer and this is my world to explorer.



I have to find my way out of the darkness and into the light. I really don’t want to be here because the darkness is scary and the voices in this world are downright disturbing. They remind me of my ugly past and horrible memories causing me pain, misery and grief. I want to turn around and go home, but I know I can’t do that because today I am the explorer, the mighty avatar chosen by the universe to make things right again because right now things are going so terribly, terribly wrong.



I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror because when I stand and look at the glass I see an ugly reflection looking back at me and I cringe in horror and fright. That man in the mirror, that man behind the glass is not my friend. He should be my friend, but I know deep down he isn’t. I know when I look in the mirror instead of seeing a man in the reflection I see a monster. No one else seems to see this but me; nobody knows there is a monster in my heart, nobody knows there is a monster on my back.



This monster is a beast from the fires far below. It is a beast from the deepest parts of my mind and I have to make it go away. I have to find out where it came from and where it lives so I can rid myself of this pest once and for all so I can one day live my life in peace and harmony.



Today I may be an explorer but I know I can be more. I know I can be more than a traveling nomad in search for that perfect spot in my mind, my world where everything is pure and everyone is kind and gentle. It seems like I have been an explorer all my life, always looking for something better, always searching for that mysterious light at the end of the tunnel. But for some strange reason, every time I reach the tunnel the light isn’t there, or when it is there it is not as bright as I thought it would be, it doesn’t change me, it doesn’t make my mind brighter, it doesn't cause my mind to shine.



After all the searching and exploring my mind is still a wasteland and the monster still clings to my back, weighing me down, dragging me through a slippery maze full of traps and potholes, telling me things I don’t want to hear because I am an explorer and I am lost. I don’t want to hear what the monsters has to say because the monster is not my friend, nor is he my mortal enemy because with all his faults and flaws and despite proclaiming my intent on ridding myself of this beast, I do see something good inside of this monster. I do see a glimmer of light shining faintly from within the confines of this monsters heart. A heart which belongs to me as well, so as an explorer and avatar of this hard and mysterious world, I will do my best to find cause of the problem, regardless of the pitfalls, regardless of the traps that lie in my way. As Asland as my witness, I will do my best to make things right or die in the process of trying.



I know the golden campus is out there and I know there is a tower out there standing tall in the darkness and in desperate need of light. I hope I someday find what I am looking for because I really want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and see the face of the man I know and love. I want the nightmares and the storms to go away so I can sleep at night and dream of beautiful places and beautiful worlds. Today I am an explorer, but tomorrow I want to be something else, something better than I am now, something better than I ever was before…