5 Reasons I Hate Being a Liberal

Some Reasons I Hate Being a Liberal

I promised in my last note "7 Reasons I'm not Conservative" that I would write up my own rebuttal, basically some reasons why I hate the left, just to prove I'm an overly liberal douchebag. This is it.

For the record, I'm a registered Independent, despite my low opinion for the right-wing philosophy I am often saddened by the fact that I wind up sitting in the liberal camp. I hate the left 90% as much as I hate the right. So, let's get it on...


1) Gun Control is Counterproductive

For a group that is so socially conscious, the left seems to have 1 glaring omission from their list of liberties they fight for... and that's the right to bear arms. To crusade for free speech and the right for homosexual marriages, but to restrict a right guaranteed in the Bill of Rights is hypocritical at best. What people who are in favor of gun control need to realize is that, like it or not, every time a gun has killed somebody, there was a person at fault. The human body is a hilariously frail thing, even without a firearm somebody could walk into your house and kill you with a knife. Or a bow and arrow. Or by pouring chemicals onto you. Or lighting you on fire. I understand the reflexive desire to limit killing tools, but statically speaking more children are killed by swimming pools then by firearms. Does that mean we should also control swimming pools? And the amount of Americans gunned down every year doesn't come close to the number killed by cars. It comes down to a matter of responsibility, and to people being adults and being able to handle themselves as such... just like every single other freedom we should have.


2) The Environment is not, and never will be, an important issue

I like strolling through a park and looking at all the wonderful trees. But preserving the environment and the plethora of life in it is just below “Make sure my roommate shaves in the morning” on my list of things I give a shit about. In a world where there are millions of people starving and suffering, if we spend a single cent worrying about preserving some animal species we are basically saying “hey all you people in <Darfur/Bosnia/New Jersey>, Spotted Barn Owls are more important to us then you all” This isn't to say I advocate random pollution, but spending anything more then pocket change to rescue trees and animals that are too stupid to ever be of any use except as food and fuel is just a waste of time and money.

And don't even get my started on PETA. Hey, let's make sure cows are treated fairly while people live in ass backwards country and die because they don't have access to clean water. The poor cattle. If you've ever donated a penny of your money to PETA, even as a joke, you're perpetuating a useless subset of society whose sole purpose on this Earth is prove that Social Darwinism doesn't happen in the United States.


3) Pro-Choice but Anti-Capital Punishment?

Like I said in my previous entry, you're either for society being allowed to kill, or not. Infants have the same “sanctity of life” or “right to live” as grown ups. Either we kill, or we don't kill, pick a side.


4) There is No Easy Solution to International Terrorism, We Will Need to Hurt People's Feelings to Destroy Al-Queda

I was against the war in Iraq, I'm still against it. But, I agree with it's principle. We're the last superpower in the world, and that makes us loathed the world over. To keep ourselves safe, we are going to need to do unneighborly things to countries that house those who would harm us. If a country houses a training camp, we need to make sure that that camp is destroyed and all responsible are shot and their bodies left to rot in the sun. Whether we do that with diplomacy, briefcases of unmarked $100's, or some American forces, we have to be willing to wear the ass-kicking boots. This doesn't give us license to do dumb shit like invade countries for the WMD's we sold them (seriously...) but the main function of a government is to protect it's citizens. And to protect the soft, fleshy underbody of America, you need to kill a few hundred people every so often. Or make sure Pakistan does it. Either way.


5) Hillary Clinton

If I were still Christian, I would believe that she was the Anti-Christ. What qualifications does she have to be in politics? She has sex regularly with Bill Clinton, that's about the only one I could think of. And by that standard, I think Monica Lewinsky is probably more qualified. She's one of those bitches who pushes forth anti-video game legislation to rally bored mothers to her side, somebody who invents issues that she has the solution to. The fact that she holds any office makes me sad. (And no, it has nothing to do with her being a woman and more to do with the fact that she's the spawn of Satan)