I Miss You, Babycakes.

Matthew Ryan McElfresh... Oh, God, where to begin? Let's start with those three simple but powerful words. I love you. It's been almost two months since we've broken up, but my love for you hasn't faltered in any way. I still love you as much today as I did that Sunday morning when we said those three beautiful words to each other. August 15, 2008 will always be pegged as special in my heart. You still love me, you told me you did, but we can't get back together yet. Not just yet. Give everyone a chance to cool down, give everyone a chance to realize that we're really meant to be together, and that we haven't been the same since we broke up.

Everyone says we were too clingy with each other. They don't understand. It's that simple. We weren't clingy, we just loved each other so freaking much. We were so head over heels in love that we wanted to spend as much time as possible with each other. You know, Kris is afraid I'll leave him (though he and I aren't dating.) for you, and Shelby is afraid you'll leave her for me. Maybe they should be afraid. They're afraid of being left alone, but we met each other before we met them. We dated each other before we dated them. We fell in love with each other before them. We can't ever forget each other. No one really realizes that. Everyone says 'It's been two months, you guys should be over each other by now." But if two people belong together, then how can we get over each other?

I messed up, really bad. I should've said no. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMq3NwU0kJA) You should've said no the week after you know what happened. But then I should've said no the other two times. I was dumb, and I want to please everyone. That's something I've been working on. Realizing I can't, nor do I need to, make everyone happy. You're the only one I care about being happy, and you're happy when you're literally with her, but you're not happy dating Shelby. I know you better than that. You act like this has been the craziest summer you've ever had, but deep down you're hating it. Or, wishing you could spend it with me. That sounds conceited, I know, but it's the truth.

10 months of pure bliss. 10 months of everything I could ever want and more. 10 months with the most amazing boy in the entire world. I just can't wait for November or December, when we can be together again. We'll fix the mistakes, and we'll make it amazing, babycakes. That's a promise, Matthew, and I won't ever break it.

I might come back to add more, so check back occasionally. Until then, I love you.

EDIT: June 23, 2010

Well, we got back together August 14, and you broke up with me September 9. But these words still ring just as true. If you ever gave me a second (third, I guess...) chance, I'd never ever ever break you. I couldn't imagine it...

I miss you, beyond words, every second of every day. I've been with other guys...

I feel so bad about being with Ian... because your love with more clingy, he expresses his in a more distant manner... I wasn't used to it, and I constantly put him down or try to put him on this pedestal with you when he just wasn't the same person. I feel bad that I hurt him trying to make him be you... When he wasn't you, and I should have recognized that... but I'm still so damn crazy in love with you that it wouldn't have mattered. I distanced myself from you, I did everything I could to try and get over you while I was with him. But I couldn't if I was trying to turn him into you...

Idk I'm rambling, but I felt a need to edit this, since I said I might add more one day.

I love you
You know you love me,
XoXo.
Savannah Lynn King (McElfresh.)