Expectation of a Heart

Down the hall, a glance in the mirror,
Thinking am I really still standing here?
Knowing that I shouldn't be, that I shouldn't care
But to turn around and walk away - I don't dare.
I'm gasping, have this tightness in my chest,
Wanting to believe he's nothing like the rest.
My hearts on the line, this could be the final test,
Before it burst into shred, falling into a bloody mess.
Expecting it to end me, done completly, nothing left.
I don't want a fantasy, play some sort of make believe,
A heart-skipping novel romance, pixie dust dropped down on me.
I want that real kind of thing, even if it's not forever to be.
The kind that makes me cry sometimes, makes me see
That this pain is worth the kisses, a payable fee.
All to finally know what it's like to remain happy.

Walking down the street I knew to turn around.
Go the other way, to somewhere with solid ground.
To escape all these voices, the nonsense, the sounds
Of "i told you so's' and "It'll never change aound."
Yet after constantly seeking, this new smile I've found
And the laughter that digs down deeper, between the skin and tissue.
Knowing that when you're not around, I'll always miss you.
Speaking such courage-filled words, knowing their true.
I'll admit, I don't always think things through/
But despite my flaws, I'll do what I have to do
To keep not only my smile, but the one you wear too.
And that smile in my eyes, knowing you're my boo
Thinking what good have I done for this to be true!
I've become one of loves lucky few
To feel the touch of a blessing
The warmth of an angels' caressing.
Something that used to only be in fairytales.
Always thought I'd be the first princess to fail
At recognizing that knight in shining armor, let him sail
Away out to the sun, knowing that my heart is done.