write about writing

I actually writing about myself. when I want to write, I am waiting for something special. Maybe something from above. Not birds or clouds, something from spirit. Because of writing is so Goddy (from God) I think. Is it rihgt?
Of course not. When we learn about a job, cooking, riding, eating, etc. we try and try till success. On the contrary, about writing I am waiting someone should write for me, express my soul-thoughts as i am. what a paradox!
Even for something easy, I try so hard. Do not give up till i learn, but not the same for writing. It's ridiculous.
I live my life for something special and at the age 33, i realize that i should try for being a good writer. Maybe not a man somebody reads, but a good writer..