The Social Structure of Jellybeans

The Social Structure of Jellybeans

Daniel Miller
         A continuation of the accounts and observations made by the name underlined directly above this sentence.  This article documents the many varying aspects of Jellybean society and then some.
Session 1.

In Jelly Bean society you have a single philosophy that dominates it as a whole.  That philosophy is that you are only as good as the jellybean next to you, so that all jellybeans are created equal within the box.  Unfortunately that philosophy is not exactly enforced or followed much nowadays in modern day jellybean society.  Each flavor has been systematically pushed into a class of some sort that requires them to fill out a specific role in the society.  For example, grape jellybeans are the strongest yet fairest, so they help maintain order throughout the colony within the box.  Root beer flavored jellybeans are second in strength next to grape, but like to push the other colors around.  Their role expectations are to boss the other colors around and make them work for the root beer flavored jellybeans unbeknownst to the grape jellybeans.  The strawberry flavored jellybeans are the workforce…or slave class in a way, they must constantly work maintaining the integrity of the box and the cleanliness of society, and since there are so few strawberry flavored jellybeans they encounter a lot of role strain with all these numerous tasks and so little to fill them.  And since the Root bear flavored jellybeans do what they do alongside the grape, there is a lot of Role conflict, each class is trying to do its best, but one is helping order society while the other is tearing it apart.  Conflicts have occurred many times between these two groups, and have at times escalated to a level that I have coined to be Juicy.  These ascribed statuses impact the values of jellybean society as a whole.  Constant violence has spread numerous public outcries to reform the box in many instances.
It is difficult to describe many of their other norms and folkways because, well simply they have a smooth exterior with few physical features to observe.  Jellybeans don’t shake hands, or give each other winks or nods or other actions that can be easily observed in mammals such as humans.
         The other flavors make up the populace of the box going about their daily lives here and there, two and fro, out and back, hip pity hop pity, up the bridge, down the road…. you get my point…. the mundane, until a child reaches into the box and grabs a few and eats them, that is called a natural disaster in their society, it happens a few times a week, depending on the hunger of the child.  Since these natural disasters occur at such common intervals, and the death toll is relatively low, there is little historical reference to these events.  Only when a substantial amount of lives have been lost that the damage actually harms society itself does the matter become more focused and examined.  The great purge of 1994 is an example.  The child seemed to be having a birthday party and consequently the children took much interest in the box.  It has been recorded that five hundred jellybeans were taken that fateful day.  Thus these are the basics of jellybean society at this point.  Our next discussion will focus on jellybean courting rituals, mating, and food preparation.

Session 2.

         When a jellybean reaches maturity it starts to look for a mate, as to sustain the populace and ensure a future generation to carry on the jellybean legacy.  The male jellybean is usually the one to search for the mate, and the female is usually the receptor.  Various ways that male jellybeans try to impress a female are but not limited to; asking her out to lunch, giving her a gift that was hand made, complimenting her, putting on a rock band show on top of the local shopping mall while wiggling ones body in an eccentric fashion, dumping hot chocolate all of their body and engaging in a chocolate wrestling contest with ones fellow group mates and then inviting her in by making meowing noises as they slosh around in chocolate.  These are just a few techniques that have been implemented in jellybean society.
         If the courting becomes successful then the male jellybean has a mate, and because there is no concept of abstinence in jellybean society, they begin to procreate as much as possible over the next few days.  One thing that is unique in jellybean society is their lack of modesty.  A concept foreign to them, and thus many jellybeans can be seen procreating outside in all manner of ways as a means to ensure the survival of the species.  For as what was stated in the first session, no one ever knows when a  child will reach in and grab a jellybean to be eaten.  Thus reproduction is one of the most vital aspects of jellybean society.
         Another part of jellybean society that is a cultural universal within all the flavors is cooking.  All jellybeans love to cook, its built into their DNA.  The lime flavored jellybeans have mastered the art of cooking, putting heart and flavor into dishes before profits.  Other competitors such as the mango and liquorish flavors also try to compete, but need for fame and income dominates most of those two flavors mindsets and consequently their dishes do not become the favorites of the jellybean society.  The lime culture is one of patience and determination, and do not believe in competition.  But it has been observed that if the other flavors try to compete to harshly with the lime flavors they do resort to burning down all their homes and killing all of their families and putting their dead corpses into their dishes.  The grape jellybeans would normally severely punish a deed such as this, but because they love the lime jellybeans cooking so much they let the action go unpunished, just as long as they continue making delicious food according to jellybean society  quality standards.  Well that wraps it up for this session, next session we will be talking about Jellybean politics, warfare, and technology.


Session 3.
                   
         Marcus Jucius Oria was nominated as president of the Jelly Fold State of the Box.  The societies government and politics have changed dramatically throughout the years.  Presently they are known as the Jelly Fold State of the Box.  A democracy much like the United States, but more twisted and juicy.  One stark contrast to United States is that fact that what they call their democracy, is not what someone like you and I would describe it as.  As stated in Session 1 they have a slave class/workforce.  The strawberry jellybeans don’t get any of the privileges that the rest of the flavors get in the supposedly equal society.  An unfortunate situation, nevertheless it is what it is.
         Warfare has been nonexistent in Jellybean society for ages.  But during the dawn of its civilization there was much conflict in deciding the ruler of the box.  King George the sour held a kingdom for twelve years with an iron grip before a rebel alliance made up of Watermelon, Peach, and Banana flavors rose up against him, toppling the kingdom.  The kings son, Prince Sugar Mittens the Cowardly, was thrown off the top of the castle into a lake of burning fire, ensuring that there was no family line left.  It was a short held victory though as the flavors were indecisive when choosing a new successor to the crown.  This indecisiveness split the kingdom apart and issued in a long era of chaos.
         Jellybean warfare is in fact, very simple.  The incalculable tactics and psychological methods of dealing with a foe that are seen with much detail nowadays in human society are nowhere to be found in Jellybean culture.  The textbook process in which battles were performed in the older times proceeded accordingly like this:  the two armies would stand atop opposing hills facing each other.  The commanders would then tumble down the hill towards each other at alarming speeds until they collide.  Consequently one of the jellybeans would burst into a pile of sugar and goop killing him, and the survivor would be claimed the better soldier, and lead he charge of his troops towards the other army who’s morale has been broken at the sight of their dead commander.
         Jellybeans wielded no weapons or shields and did not mount any animals…for there were no animals to mount.  Attempts at domesticating spiders were attempted but proved to be a futile effort, as jellybean speed and strength can not match a spiders ability to ensnare and scurry away.  But that is besides the point, the way jellybeans fought is simply by rolling into one another, hoping that their outer casing is strong enough to hold in the fruity juices that make up a jellybean.  This ends Session 3, in the final session we will be discussing jellybean race relations in thorough detail.



Session 4.

         Like humans, jellybeans are all fundamentally the same.  The only difference is flavor, each jellybean has a copious amount of sugar, water, and corn syrup that make up their internal structure.  But Jellybeans have been seen throughout history to become prejudice and, as obviously mentioned in the sessions earlier, to discriminate with one another.  The abilities granted to the grape, lime, root beer etcetera, are in reality simple cultural traits that can be picked up by any flavor.  Yet the jellybeans have taken these differences to such extremes that it has become commonplace to believe that different flavors are truly different because of the different abilities that they have.  This type of thinking is still present in modern day human society also, as it is now becoming more difficult to distinguish between races as the species interbreeds with one another.  The same can be said about jellybeans, when a lime flavored jellybean mates with a strawberry one they create a new strawberry lime flavored jellybean.  Mixing such as this is very beneficial to the Jellybean gene pool.
         Yet prejudice still exists, and there are many stereotypical names and ideas attached to certain flavors.  Racial slurs such as “Water boys” have been given to the Watermelon flavor.  “Root Tooties” Have been given to the Root Beer flavor.  And the strawberry flavor has been labeled commonly as “Horrible disgusting losers”.  It should be noted that jellybeans are not very good at coming up with creative names and slurs.
         This unfortunate aspect of jellybean society is just one part of the whole pie.  There are countless more ways to view and approach these different situations and events that happen throughout the society.  Unfortunately it has been recently noted that the child had another birthday party and the box was completely purged of all Jellybeans, thus making Jellybeans extinct in the box.  This concludes the observations of the Social Structure of Jellybeans.