The Waiting Game

Okay, so what do you do when you meet your soul mate?  Throw your hands up in the air and rejoice?  Get married?  Or run for the hills cowering from the heart wrenching destruction that is love?  Questions, questions so many questions.

How about this one then?  What do you do if said soul mate is with someone else?  Not just ‘with’ someone, but completely, utterly and hopelessly in love with someone.  Else.  Meaning not you. 

Ah, I hear you say.  How do you know this is your soul mate?  Or one of them at any rate.  I just do.  Our souls connected, he has touched my soul and or heart, blah blah blah…..etc

Seriously though, it is very difficult being friends with someone who you know you’re supposed to be with.  There’s nothing wrong with his current girlfriend, well apart from the fact she’s not me of course.  She doesn’t treat him badly, hurt him, cheat on him, beat him or all of the above.  In fact she makes him happy, very happy. 

Please don’t misunderstand me, I don’t want anyone to get hurt and I’m not in the business of doing what it takes to ‘get my man’.  I could though, if I tried.  I’m a good catch, believe me.  Good face, good hair, good job, good morals, good family, rocking body.  Trust me; he’d be hard pushed to say no. 

My best friend has this theory; if women didn’t sleep with other women’s boyfriends and husbands, there would be no cheating.  Same goes for men.  The only problem with that is, we are then relying on the honesty of the person who will be doing the cheating, and let’s be honest if they are thinking about doing it in the first place, they are hardly going to be pure enough to listen to the Angel on their shoulder and keep their morals in check.  Anyway, I like her theory and try to stick to it as much as possible.

This is why I am now in the situation of constantly jealous, irrational thinking lunatic.  What if this and when that.  It’s hard work trying to just stay sane or sort of sane anyway.  The slightest smile from him can be taken in a million different ways and if he’s a bit of a flirt, then forget it, you’ve got no chance.  Mixed emotions and signals flying all over the place like some kind of uncontrollable whirlpool of lust all leading to that nasty little devil called temptation.  In the aforementioned scenario, please avoid alcohol at all costs or you really will be in trouble.

Now I am playing the game of shall I wait or shall I move on?  If we really are destined to be together then surely the universe will help us out?  Yeah right, like fuck it will.  Probably best for me to just carry on as normal, pretending everything is fine and that I love his girlfriend almost as much as he does. (I hate the bitch)  I’m not doing that friends close enemies closer thing either.  Tried it before and it didn’t work, I still got screwed over.  But, hey!  That’s another story.

So, the waiting game it is.  For now.  I’m certainly not going to put my life on hold.  Or be the evil one at the back of the church dressed in red screaming “Pick me, pick me”.  I’ll just take each day as it comes and see what happens.  I’m sure he’ll see sense eventually (!)