Lesson 5 - Brandy

ASSIGNMENT 5

Assignment 5 Part 1
Developing your unique voice
Exercise: Scan back over your life, think of times, things, places, etc. you remember for no apparent reason. Write the memory as you remember it, and start the rendering. This is an exercise in using your own personal voice.
{no deaths or births, use the small seemingly unimportant events}

Begin the essay with the phrase, "I don't know why I remember."
Star If necessary use a smell, sound, taste, or object that triggers a memory.

LESSON 5, PART ONE:

I don’t know why I remember this but I was in the pottery room in college during the winter mini semester. It was January, and the campus was almost empty from all the students doing one month internships, traveling abroad, or back in their hometowns doing some half-cocked winter term project that required little more than some hours signed off by an advisor and a thirty page paper at the end. The pottery room, which was actually the chemistry lab, home to much of my discontent the previous semester, was now my haven. It was nearing midnight, the halls were dark, and I was alone in the artificially lit lab, florescent lights flickering on one side, stable on the other. I was listening to a tape of the Steve Miller Band, and was elbow deep in half-dried rust colored clay. My fingers, moistened with water, slid over something that would hopefully resemble a vase, or maybe just a hold it all vessel. Who knew at that point. It wasn’t the end result that mattered, it was the journey.

Being in this place at midnight with no one caring if I wasn’t in on time and no one standing over me, critiquing me, it was exhilarating, free, peaceful. Sitting in this lab that before had made me feel only lack of skill, confusion, it was now the home of my imagination. Shiny black tables, two seats per table. All of this stark order completely obliterated by newspapers, clay droppings, evidence of creative spurts displayed on each table, and a mammoth slab of clay in heavy plastic wrapping lying upon the cutting board, thin metal twine stretched taught on a frame used to slice the chunk of clay into bricks to be formed by reluctant artists pursuing science degrees and piddling around with clay on their one month dream interim class. It’s the one time grades really didn’t matter. They said, take a class you love, something that has nothing to do with your major. So, that’s what I did. For once, time passed effortlessly, and I began to wonder if I was in the right profession.

Glancing at my watch, I realized that the responsible person would have left this empty building hours ago but now, at midnight, the bed was calling and my piece needed some rest as well. I cleaned up my area, turned off the tape player and started to my dorm. It was a short walk from the lab in a small, secluded liberal arts college smack dab in the midst of the worst area in town. But, the campus was peaceful and there were guards and gates, and a relative sense of calm. Just a few drunk girls laughing and meandering through the quad to their dorms. Preparing to creap into the “living room” quietly so as not to wake the other three girls who lived in the four person dorm suite, I adjusted my backpack and slipped the key in the doorknob to find that it was unlocked. When I walked in, I was met with about twenty other students sitting on the floor, couches, standing, all with their attention trained on the television. The first war in Iraq had begun that night, Operation Desert Storm, and I had been completely unaware until that moment.

I wonder if I would have remembered that night in the pottery room if it had not turned out to be a momentus event. I'd like to think I would. I think it was the first time I realized that it was crucial in my life to maintain some outlet of creativity no matter what I ended up doing for a profession. I realized, like the room which held both Chemistry and pottery, I too represented an open book where there could be written both science and art, and whatever else I found intriguing in my life. That night I watched the news with the others, wondering if it was possible for this world to hold both peace and freedom at the same time. I could only hope.


The End

______________________________________________

Assignment 5 Part 2
Different versions of the same scenario

Exercise: Take the following situation and give at least 3 different character perspectives of the same happening.
Note The characters and options for the event are listed below.
Note Choose at least 3 characters from the list and then have each of them tell their view of what happened to the police officer/detective.
Note Write a short synopsis of the situation from each character's point of view. Each character must be written in First Person Point of View. If you are not familiar with First person vs. Third person Point of View write to either JC English (5)
joanm


PART TWO

Situation:

A mugger grabs a lady’s purse in a restaurant and runs but gets stopped on the way out in a humorous manner
by the most unlikely person.



Elderly woman

“This will only take a minute, ma’am, I just need to ask you some questions. My name is Officer LuAnn Jenkins. Can I get yours, please?”

“Can’t you get my what, young lady? You mean you’re a real cop? I sure wish I was still a young’un like you, I always liked a good mystery in my days but you just didn’t have women police back then. What did you ask again?”

“Your name, ma’am. Can you give me your name? I need to ask some questions about what happened just now in the restaurant.”

“Sarah Smith, hon. That’s my name. Well, it was Sarah Bloomenwald ‘fore I was married and I would’ve changed it back after my putz of a husband bit the dust but no one down here in the South could spell my maiden name, much less pronounce it. Look at me going on and on and you there trying to get your job done. I’m sorry, sweetie. What do you need to know?”

“Well, ma’am, just tell me what happened in your own words. Let’s start with where you were sitting and then tell me about the first moment you noticed something out of the ordinary.”
Officer Jenkins pulled up a chair and flagged the waitress to bring me a glass of water. At least being a cop with all those boys hasn't made her forget her manners.

“Well, here I was just sitting here with my granddaughter and great grandbabies near the door here. The lady at that podium there saw the stroller and just plunked us right there in the kid section where the stroller won’t get tripped over.” She leaned closer to the officer. “Really, they just don’t like screaming kids. If they had their druthers, they’d of put us clear out that door. But they’re too polite to insult an old woman. Why, I’ve strayed again. What happened was this. That boy with the leather jacket and torn up jeans, he came by our table and, well, he just didn’t belong in a place like this. I watched him, I did. Then, I had just gotten back from a trip to the powder room when I saw him drop his keys and he looked good and hard in that woman’s purse.
I thought he was trying to look up her skirt. I had brothers, mind you, and I knew all about that trick. I thought he was just a dirty minded young man. When I got back to my table, that great grandbaby of mind had decided to move to my seat so she could pick off her momma’s plate so I moved the stroller out of the way.” I sipped my water and thanked the waitress.

“Then what happened,” the officer urged, not wanting her to stop midstream and forget the rest.

“I’ll tell you what happened. That boy came running down the path between the tables with that woman’s purse I told you about. I didn’t even think before I did it but I pushed that stroller right into that boy’s legs. Why, he flew out that door and landed flat on his face. He started to get up and I walked right over there with my purse and gave him a good wallup over the head. That boy ought to think twice before he runs off with a woman’s purse. He should be ashamed of hisself. I told him his momma will be so embarrassed, that’s if he hasn’t robbed her blind too.” I leaned over and dragg, my makeup compacts, my pepper spray and my Derringer .22. “That boy was lucky I didn’t have time to load this puppy,” II told that officer as I showed her my gun. “Now this is my baby. Can’t be too careful, officer.”

“Well, I am sure thankful for your quick thinking. We got the boy in the back of the car right now. Would you mind coming to the station so you can identify him. We might even throw in an honorary citizen’s patrol badge. Here, let me help you up, ma'am. There’s a lady who would like to meet you and say thank you. Let me get your number first and I will call you as soon as we are ready for you to come to the station.”

“Here’s my cell phone. I don’t have my glasses but you just see if that has my number on there. I just got it from my grandson and darned if I know how to work that thing.” I handed the thing to her.

“Tell you what, I will dial the precinct number from your phone and save it. Then, when I dial my personal cell, it will show your number on my phone. Anyway, next time you want to try your hand at being a cop, you just call the precinct and ask for me. I’m sure we could use you for surveillance sometime.”

After the officer introduced her to the woman who had her purse recovered thanks Ms. Smith’s quick action, she walked with her partner toward another witness but Ms. Smith overheard her comment. “That is one tough old lady. I hope I have that much spunk at her age.” The partner replied, “Yeah, no kidding. Wouldn’t want to meet her in a dark alley. Did you see that piece she was packing in her purse? Geez.”

I know they think old folks are deaf but I heard every word. I couldn't help grinning at those two. I said over my shoulder, "and don’t you kids forget it.”

Mom pushing a stroller

While Officer Jenkins was speaking to the old lady, her partner, Officer Tom Samuels was waiting on another witness to finish changing her baby’s diaper just outside the restaurant. “Ma’am, when you’re done, do you mind if we ask you a few questions?”

“Sure, go ahead. I just have to finish…Oh shoot, Cissy, did you have to do that now? Oh, I’m sorry officer. Can you hand me that diaper out of the diaper bag and some more wipes. I’m so sorry. I changed her too quick. Apparently, she wasn’t finished yet, was ya sweetie?” “Officer? You okay?” I know it was mean but I kinda smiled, on account of he looked liked my husband when he gets sick over dirty diapers.

“I’ll be okay in just a minute.” He grabbed the diaper bag and placed it next to the stroller, “My momma taught me not to look in a woman’s bag. Here ya go. I’ll be right back. Please don’t leave though. We still need to take a statement.” He retreated into the restaurant to fetch his partner, breathing in the cool air and the smell of chargrilled steak. Officer Jenkins was standing by an old lady, admiring her little..what was that..a gun? He just shook his head. The thought of vigilante grandma’s almost made him forget his stomach was reeling. When she walked toward him, he whispered, “LuAnn, you gotta get that lady with the baby over there. The kid’s crapped in her drawers and I like’da lost my cookies on the sidewalk. Look, I’ll get that guy over there and keep an eye on the pistol packin’ granny of yours while I’m at it. Think she has a license for that thing?” They walked toward the woman and infant and he introduced his partner to her. “Ma’am, I hate to say this but I was born with a weak stomach. My partner here, Officer Jenkins, she’s gonna ask you some questions, okay. She’s got a kid too, so she’s used to, well, you know, them diapers. Thank you for waiting, ma’am. Bye, lil’ lady.” He didn’t like smelly diapers but the kid was cute. She waived at herself and smiled at him.

“I’m not sure if he got your name or not but let’s just start from the beginning, okay?”

“Sure, my name is Randi Lee and this is Cissy. She’s one. That poor boy you work with, he sure was mighty sick but I can’t say I blame him. Cissy sure can clear a crowd. Anyway, I didn’t see much. I was strolling down the sidewalk and stopped here to look at that menu. My husband said he’s gonna take me out somewhere nice for our first anniversary and I always wondered what kind of food they did here. Looks good, have you ate here? Anyway, I was standing here looking at the menu and all the sudden this man flies out the door and lands flat on his face. Then some old woman comes out and whops him in the head with her purse, screaming ‘that’l show you, boy. Then she shouted something about makin’ his momma humiliated or something. Boy, she was mad. I thought ya’ll were gonna arrest her but then I saw that boy being hauled off to the police car. I don’t have any idea what happened before that but that guy was holding some white fancy lookin’ purse. It spilled out everywhere. I don’t know why rich women like to buy purses with nothin’ to close ‘em up. Seems kinda stupid to me. My Cissy here would look like some circus clown with lipstick all over her face if she could just reach in my purse and get what she pleased. Anyway, that’s all I saw. The guy had brown longish hair and an earring in his ear. I think he had on a black jacket. It was all so fast. Then Cissy started hollering and when I was checking her, I saw what she had done in her diaper.”

“Well, let me get your phone number and I’ll call you if we need any more information.” Thanks for waiting on us. Sorry about my partner. I hope he didn’t offend you.”

“Aw shoot, ma’am, ya’ll don’t offend us none. My husband can’t stand it either. He won’t change a dirty diaper for nothin’. Makes him sick too. Good thing us women are the one’s to get pregnant and not them. Can you imagine childbirth if they can’t take a dirty diaper. Whew, the world would stop procreatin’ if they were the ones havin’ em. Don’t ya think?"

“Most likely, ma’am. Thanks again for your time. That's all we need for now. You two take care.” Officer Jenkins laughed to herself and looked around to find her squeamish partner. He was already talking to a man in a suit in the back of the restaurant. She walked to her police car to call in that they would be back in 30 minutes to handle the rest of the case. Right now, she could hear her stomach growling. They has just gotten to the counter to order when the commotion started. Slipping next door, she was about to tell the waitress at Ted's what they wanted and to make it to go. On the other hand, she thought, we've got a few minutes. "Hey, Sally, Just put us there in that booth in the back and bring us two root beers on ice and your special of the day. I'll be right back with Tom."

Business man

Officer Samuels took a few more deep breaths as he walked toward the third witness, a business man talking to himself, or was it those phone things that clip on the ear. Oh well, he decided to interrupt anyway, “Sir, you mind if we have a word please? I just need to ask a few questions.” He took the ear thing out and stood up.

“Sorry about that, Officer. That was my secretary. I just told her I would be little late getting back. But listen, I have a meeting at two so I need to get on as soon as possible. Do you think we’ll be done in five minutes?”

“Well, sir, it depends on how much you saw. If you’ll go ahead and give me a number where I can reach you, and your first and last name, we’ll get this show on the road.” Gotta handle these business types carefully, he thought. They're always running somewhere.

“My name is Bill Mayfield and here’s my card. Now, if you can write while you’re walking, we can start toward my car and I’ll show you what I saw on the way. Sound good?”

“Sure, no problem, sir.”

“Okay, I had just gotten here and saw a buddy of mine sitting at that table by the bar. I walked over and we shook hands. About that time, this kid or young man, I guess, he tossed his keys right behind my buddy’s wife. I remember thinking, what is that guy up to? Dave and his wife are investing in a business venture of mine. I noticed the guy but no one else seemed to so I didn’t comment on it. He walked back to the restroom area and I eventually walked back to my seat and ordered lunch. Next thing I knew, an old woman was screaming insults at that same boy, sprawled out at the entrance of the restaurant and Dave’s wife, Cheryl, was pointing toward the entrance yelling to stop that kid, he stole her purse. I ran toward to old lady to see if I could help her out and call the police. Hate to say this, but she had it covered. I dialed 911 and reported the theft but you guys were here before I could get off the phone. Didn’t know you guys were so quick.”

“You’d be amazed, sir. Naw, we were next door about to eat at the hot dog joint when we looked out the window and saw a crowd gathering. We figured someone had a heart attack and ran out to check.” Officer Samuels saw Mr. Mayfield glance at his watch twice since he finished talking.

“Thank you very much for your time, sir. I’ve got your card here and I’ll call if we need any more information. That’s all for now, though. Have a nice day, sir.” Tom watched the man dial up another phone call, replacing the ear thingy. It just bugged him when he says something funny and someone laughs and then he sees that thing on their ear. Just when he thought he'd said something clever, it wasn't him they were laughin' at.

Officer Samuels joined his partner at the front of the restaurant and got a few more names and numbers in case it was needed. The car that responded to Mr. Mayfield’s call took the assailant to be booked. LuAnn and Tom returned to the hot dog joint to eat their lunch. She'd already ordered so it was ready for them when they got to their favorite booth. Their noses had been feasting on high class aromas but there was still nothing like Ted’s kraut dogs with mustard and chili. “Got some antacids, LuAnn, I think I’m gonna need ‘em,” he mumbled with his mouth full.”

“Yea, Tom, I sure do. You got some manners? I think you might need some of those too. Its too bad you can't get those in a bottle of pills.” She smiled as he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, leave me along LuAnn, you know I got allergies. I can’t breathe when I shut my mouth to chew.”

“Sounds promising, Tom, I’ll have to remember that.”


The End



_________________________________________________
DISCUSSION TOPIC (#5)

Answer the following questions in your discussion topic.

1. Do you hear the distinct voices of the characters in the examples?
2. When you read the examples could you almost picture them even though there is hardly any physical description?
3. Could you picture the setting?

Take a look at some of the stories you have written.
Note Are your stories usually action driven, or are your stories character driven? Meaning, do your stories depend on the action, and less on the development of your characters?
4. Is that something you need to consider when reviewing your own work? Meaning, do your character's have a clear and distinct voice in your writing?
5. How would you define your personal voice when when you post your thoughts in the forum? What is your natural tone [funny, sarcastic, serious], your style [long or short sentences, diction]??


DISCUSSION 5

When I read these three passages, I could hear the distinct voice of the three characters. I could somewhat see the setting, though it was more of a picture of the characters than the setting that came to mind. The first and third characters seemed similar to me and I almost wondered if they weren't the same people but different scenes or parts of his day. The mannerisms were more apparent in the first passage, I think. I got a better sense of that character than the others. Also, the last passage gave me more of an impression of the missing person (the wayward daughter) than the two characters in the vignette.

My stories tend to have more dialogue and sense of the emotional or psychological aspects of a person than perhaps the scenery or sensory descrpitions of people or the setting. I could use more of the sensory descriptions in my writing, especialy those less likely to be mentioned, such as taste or touch.

My natural writing tone, I believe, is more laid back and conversational, maybe even a little long winded at times. I tend to over explain things at times also. However, my style is to use normal everyday words instead of flowery or highly intellectual words probably due to my "day job". I have to speak in a way that won't make my clients feel I'm "talking over them" or insulting their intelligence. Ironically, while I use regular words, I tend to come up with analogies or metaphors that end up confusing them anyway and I tend to talk too much and thin down my message wtih too many words. I'm pretty sure I do this when writing too, both long sentences and going on and on, making the reader forget my original point. I will have to watch that. Sometimes I also use self depreciating humor in writing as it makes the reader think maybe they arent the only ones that find themselves with their foot hanging out of their mouth in public. Disarming them allows them realize I know my faults so they can go ahead and laugh at my mistakes without feeling guilty.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________





LESSON FIVE (The Lesson and assignment for future reference)

Recognizing and Developing Voice

If your voice can be heard, someone is listening
~~ Anders of the Wood

In the previous lessons we analyzed and dissected the basic parts of a story
and we talked about "getting" to the action and the story itself, without too much exposition up-front.
We learned to notice and experience our surroundings, and some of you learned about the first sentence, how important it is to "hook" the reader,
...but what now?

Well, we can start in the middle, or the climax...
but while that's all well and good,
what about theVOICE?

Who's telling this story anyway?
One of the toughest facets for new writers to grasp is finding their unique voice[s].
Either the voice of the character narrating the story, or their own natural voice when writing from experience, even when they are pretending those tales are fiction.
Consider the passage below:

Something happens when we sit down to write.
We want what we write to be important, we want it to Matter,
and so we can get pompous.
We can sound like we're making proclamations instead of observations.
Or, we can try so hard to make the language
sound sophisticated that it comes off flowery and overwrought.
I've often scribbled on students' early papers: "This feels too written."
~~Alice LaPlante


Note The special way we see the world/situations through our own lenses and the individual verbiage we use to express our views, defines our writing personalities.
The more honest we are in our writing, the stronger our voice will shine through.

Note Leave the big words, complex sentence structure, ornate language, and impressive encyclopedic knowledge for those employed to write textbooks, unless that is your natural way of speaking!

Star Star Think of a letter or email you've received from someone you're close with. When you read an email from a friend/relative that you have a one-on-one relationship with you can picture that person as though they are speaking to you in person.
Why? Because you already hear their voice in your head....you hear their syntax, dialect, regular verbiage...you know when they are upset or elated by the words printed on the page. You don't even have to actually hear their natural/specific voice with your own ears.

Note2 In writing, voice is the way your writing sounds on the page.
It has to do with the way you write, the tone you take--friendly, formal, chatty, distant--the words you choose--everyday words or high-brow language--the pattern of your sentences, and the way these things fit in--or not-- with the personality of the narrator character and the style of your story.

Flower5 ~~~ Flower4 ~~~ Flower3 ~~~ Flower2 ~~~ Flower1 ~~~ Flower4 ~~~ Flower5


The voice I'm using to write this is direct, yet in-formal, at least I hope it is.
I'm writing the way I would speak if we were chatting face-to-face.
When we write a letter to an insurance company, or an article on social policy, our voices are quite different. We don't talk straight to the reader/class like I'm speaking to you, we take a step back, become more distant, more formal, choosing business-like words and more complex sentence structures.

Check3 Many beginning writers write out of character, and don't realize it.
They choose the wrong voice and tone for the story and characters they have in mind, and this makes their characters less believable, and unrealistic for the reader.
Voice is a reflection of how you (or your character) experiences the fictional world in your story.
Star A good technique to get a character's voice right is to spend some time developing the figure and getting to know its background.

Check5 You've got to live your character, know their wants and needs, their likes and dislikes, their fears, and their loves. When you've done that, read the story, or a part of the story, out loud as if you were the character speaking.
Note Allow your character (or narrator) to tell you the story and listen carefully to how s/he does it, and then write down what s/he is saying. If you can hear your character, you'll probably get the voice right.
Note Try to leave out the literary touches/info to begin with, and write a clear, simple story.

Star Once you learn to trust your own voice and allow the creative force inside you the freedom to express itself, you will find it easier to write short stories, novels, and poetry, do revisions, etc.

Flower5 ~~~ Flower4 ~~~ Flower3 ~~~ Flower2 ~~~ Flower1 ~~~ Flower4 ~~~ Flower5

A man's style is his mind's voice. Wooden minds, wooden voices.
~~Ralph Waldo Emerson

STYLE
The difference between style and voice in creative writing is simple.
The voice is the word choice and method of speaking and thinking as demonstrated by characters, while style is much more broad.
When determining a writer's style, you're talking about the way in which he writes his stories, which sounds incredibly vague. Some writers are comfortable with long descriptive sentences, others use short concise lines by nature.
Consider Stephen King, he writes with description, expansive details of every setting. Would his style work for every story? Of course not!
Note When we are writing in our personal style we may be comfortable with long sentences separated by commas, or short seemingly staccato thoughts.
But think about the characters in your stories...they deserve their own voices in their own style also! Just because your natural style is formal doesn't mean your characters will/should fit your personal mode in the story. Even though Stephen King uses extensive description in his writing, he still acknowledges and expresses the individual personalities of each of his characters.
Star Allow your character his/her own style.
S/he may be a long-winded high-society politician, or s/he might be one to speak in incredibly short sentences.
Your character's voice along with his/her other personal attributes can make or break the story.
Check3Have you ever met anyone that used short sentences? Like the guy below?

"Where are you going George?'
"Store."
"Why are ya going to the store?"
"Because I need stuff."
"What kind of stuff, George?"
"Just stuff."

This doesn't give the reader much in terms of developing the story, but we have learned that George either thinks the questioner is a busy-body, or that George just doesn't believe in saying much.
How about this?
"Where are you going George?"
"I gotta get up to the store and get me some Drano. That blasted drain in the kitchen sink is backing up again, and I got Penny coming for supper in less than an hour, and, and I got Stouffer's Lasagna in the oven ready to pop out in just about 30 minutes."
"Uh, okay George, see ya."

In the examples above we have two different versions of one character. Even though we learned more from the 2nd version, that doesn't make the first George any less important in a story. Maybe he is just a quiet guy and fits in the story because he never says much of anything unless he's asked, and then later does say something worthwhile to the plot and development. But no matter, he is a distinct personality in both versions. It's just a matter of whether either version/personality belongs somewhere in your story.

So you have to decide your character's viewpoint, his outlook, his way of talking. Does s/he speak in short, concise paragraphs or long, wordy sentences? Does he use multiple viewpoints or just one?
A writer's style can be characterized by something as seemingly insignificant as punctuation or as obvious as point of view, but each character's voice should be unique to the character....and not sound like the author's personal voice in every story s/he writes!

Frown ~~~ Confused ~~~ Cry ~~~ Pthb ~~~ Angry ~~~ Worry

Beginning writers may get defensive and touchy about their style.
When offered constructive (or maybe destructive) criticism about their style,
beginning writers may tend to say something like,
"Well, that's just my style."
The implication being that the reader
must like whatever style the writer chooses to use.
But that is backwards.
It is up to the writer to please the reader, not the other way around.
~~ Jim Janke


Shock Author intrusion Pthb
What is author intrusion?

The narrator's point of view is merged with that of the central character, and authorial intrusion occurs when this merger is broken by the narrator talking directly to the reader to tell him about the character, or comment on the scenario.
This occurs when the narrator addresses the reader directly. For stories written in the third person it is not always easy for beginners to see what is and what isn't authorial intrusion, because as we are reading: 'Joey said this', 'Kathy did that', it looks as if we are being told the story by a narrator.Here are three examples to illustrate the point:

1. Mrs. Smith pulled her blanket tightly around her shoulders and huddled close to the electric fire. Life is often difficult for old people in winter.
Note The second sentence is authorial intrusion. The narrator is addressing us directly and telling us something which Mrs. Smith is neither thinking or saying at the time.

2. Mrs. Smith pulled her blanket tightly around her shoulders and huddled close to the electric fire. Her face was wrinkled and her hair was wispy and white.
Note Again, the second sentence is authorial intrusion. The narrator is telling us about Mrs. Smith, and not dramatizing her actions or thoughts.

3. Mrs. Smith got up from her chair and went over to the mirror. She picked up a comb and as she began to tidy her wispy white hair noticed a few more wrinkles in her face.
Star There is no authorial intrusion here. The narrator has recreated (dramatized) Mrs. Smith's actions, perceptions, and thoughts, so that we share them with her without being told about them.

Flower1 ~~~ Flower2 ~~~ Flower3 ~~~ Flower4 ~~~ Flower5 ~~~ Bigsmile ~~~ Flower5 ~~~ Flower4 ~~~ Flower3 ~~~ Flower2 ~~~ Flower1


DISCUSSION TOPIC
You wouldn't mistake Clint Eastwood's voice for Bart Simpson's voice, even if you couldn't see their faces, would you? And if I were to give you a scene to read, you wouldn't confuse a stereotypical cowboy's voice with that of a high-society lawyer.
Not only do they sound different, they also use different kinds of language:
words tone sentences forms of address
Note Use the link below and then consider the questions that follow.
Note Let's look at some examples of different voices:
ID: 1490797 (Rated: 13+)
Title: examples of voice
Description: 3 examples of voice
By: Boo's girl loves Boo! (51)
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Answer the following questions in your discussion topic.

1. Do you hear the distinct voices of the characters in the examples?
2. When you read the examples could you almost picture them even though there is hardly any physical description?
3. Could you picture the setting?

Take a look at some of the stories you have written.
Note Are your stories usually action driven, or are your stories character driven? Meaning, do your stories depend on the action, and less on the development of your characters?
4. Is that something you need to consider when reviewing your own work? Meaning, do your character's have a clear and distinct voice in your writing?

5. How would you define your personal voice when when you post your thoughts in the forum? What is your natural tone [funny, sarcastic, serious], your style [long or short sentences, diction]??

Flower1 ~~~ Flower2 ~~~ Flower3 ~~~ Flower4 ~~~ Flower5 ~~~ Bigsmile ~~~ Flower5 ~~~ Flower4 ~~~ Flower3 ~~~ Flower2 ~~~ Flower1


Assignment 1
Developing your unique voice
Exercise: Scan back over your life, think of times, things, places, etc. you remember for no apparent reason. Write the memory as you remember it, and start the rendering. This is an exercise in using your own personal voice.
{no deaths or births, use the small seemingly unimportant events}

Begin the essay with the phrase, "I don't know why I remember."
Star If necessary use a smell, sound, taste, or object that triggers a memory.

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Assignment 2
Different versions of the same scenario

Exercise: Take the following situation and give at least 3 different character perspectives of the same happening.
Note The characters and options for the event are listed below.
Note Choose at least 3 characters from the list and then have each of them tell their view of what happened to the police officer/detective.
Note Write a short synopsis of the situation from each character's point of view. Each character must be written in First Person Point of View. If you are not familiar with First person vs. Third person Point of View write to either JC English (5)
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Star All the characters should give their own personal version of the same incident. Meaning, whatever the incident, bank robbery, fire, whatever, keep the inital story the same, just "tell" it from 3 different character's points of view!

The format for your stories is:
A police officer is interviewing the witnesses [your characters], asking them exactly what they saw take place.
Situation

Setting: An outside cafe at lunchtime, located on the corner of a busy intersection. Your chosen character[s] may be having lunch, passing by on their way to somewhere else, working at the cafe, and/or be one of the action characters listed below.
Something happens that causes the police to be called....what happened?

The Incident may include any or all of the following, or something you make up!:
A couple sitting behind you at the cafe is arguing in loud voices
A child on a bike attempts to cross the busy intersection against the posted signal
The Cafe owner chases a customer with a large knife
Three masked men run out of the bank across the street
A cab driver slams on his brakes, the car behind him slams into his trunk.
A city bus pulls up and stops...
A waitress drops her tray of food...
A fire breaks out in the kitchen
A mugger runs down the street with a purse....
A customer complains about his food


Characters:
Large beefy guy with multiple tattoos
Elderly woman
Young girl with multi-colored short hair and a nose ring
home-less person
Elderly man
Business man
Heavy set woman
woman pushing a stroller
bus driver
young couple holding hands...
Mom with a screaming toddler
lady handing out religious fliers
A child..{of speaking age please}

Star Star Give your characters names and expand on their personalities...
remember to include some sensory details including behavioral traits
and the 5 senses, if possible, we learned in the previous lesson.
but as readers let us imagine some of their physical attributes.
We don't need to know every detail, regarding their eye color and dress!
Let us picture them in our own minds.
You build them through their way of speaking,
personal habits, ages, emotional state of mind, and a little physical detail
TRY TO HAVE FUN WITH THIS LESSON

You are more than welcome to create a dialogue piece, with the officer/detective and the character[s] interacting with dialogue. Many students came up with wonderful submissions last term that gave the officer a personality/voice along with the character.
Or you can create something similar to the example below.

Here is an example of this assignment from last term "Lesson 5 Assignment 2" it might help you understand what I expect. But notice the student did not offer much in the way of physical details of the characters and chose to express her character's personalities through their distinctive dialogue. I would prefer to have a mix of both distinct dialogue and some physical description in your submissions. One way to incorporate what a person looks like is to have another character "comment" on another person's looks in their conversation...write me if I just confused you! Smile
Remember, I want at least 3 different characters!

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Definitions

Voice: The specific way that a writer has of putting their thoughts on paper.

Style: A particular writer's way of expressing him/her self, dependent on such things as choice of point of view, syntax, diction, narrative mode, exposition, story pace, and tone.

Syntax: Sentence structure; the arrangement of words in a sentence. It is sometimes used to create Rhythm in free verse and less often in prose.

Diction: The choice of words in any piece of writing. Diction is a significant factor in determining Style.

Narrative Mode: The events and characters that make up a story.

Exposition: Explanation of information essential to the story that is not shown through action.

Pace: The reader's sense that a story or play either moves rapidly or drags.

Tone: The emotional quality of a literary work itself and of the author's implicit attitude toward the work. The tone of a piece of work is descibed with terms like exciting, eerie, sad, merry, or depressing, as well as with terms like satiric, sardonic, ironic, and dramatic.

Point of View: The vantage point from which the events of the story or novel are narrated.
Can be first person, second person, or third person.

Definitions provided from:
Three Genres, Stephen Minot
The Making of a Story, Alice LaPlante

Sunrise Forum: "Sunrise Forum"

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