Identity is my curse

In the oddness of the day,
I just wished to god i may
Find the reason why to stay
So that it may go on,forever,the play?
The play,also known as my life
Which has since now only known strife
I dont feel passion,sorrow,hatred,pity
I feel nothing-i am numb
I stumble around,indifferent-spiritless
Today a car nearly hit me-i dont care
All i can contemplate is to stare
At that which is not there
Is knowledge fair?
I never asked to be different
I know that things wont change,
This is not a mere phase,
An odd craze,which has taken control of me
Im standing at crossroads,
Torn between the person I want to be,
And the person who is truly me
I dont fear nothing
Except myself
I have opened myself to much to me to cope,
And i catch myself,silently,thinking,give me more rope
To hang myself
I talk to you,but you never see me
But the image of what you have conjured me to be-
I live a lie-and wait for you to roll the die,
Once again-and maybe,this time,you catch what I am
I dare say no
Could you accept me,the way i am
I doubt it
But , dont worry,i dont know myself who I am .