At the Fair 2

Word Count: 1867

Sunday - continued

Muffled by my purse, my phone started to ring. I eyed my hands. I didn't really want to wipe the grease from the donut holes on my shorts, but . . . Ted silently pulled a wodge of napkins out of his pants pocket and handed me several. I managed to retrieve the cell before it switched to voice mail.

"Hey?"

"Hi Harry, I'm here."

"Jennifer! Where are you?"

"I'm heading down the hill. Where, exactly are you guys?

"Would it help if I said the tent with the rainbow banner out front?"

"Not really, no."

Well, let's see. We're close to the parking area. It's a pretty big tent - dark blue - with a table in front of it. I don't know if you're still high enough to see it, but the back of the tent is facing the sound stage. "

"Got it. I should be there in a few minutes."

I turned back to my friends, and informed them, "That was Jennifer."

"Yes, we got that from the part where you said, 'hi, Jennifer.' So, she's coming after all?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, she said she'll be here in a couple of minutes."

True to her word, she hove into sight within five minutes. "Hey, sorry I'm late. I had trouble deciding what to wear." Her khakis, pink polo shirt and tennis sneakers seemed an obvious choice to me until I remembered that I'd discarded a similar outfit. Steve waved the bag of donut holes at her, but, making a face, she declined.

"I like your outfit."

"Thanks, so what's the plan?"

"No plan, exactly. Steve's on duty here until . . . noon, is it?" Steve nodded. "And Ted was going to provide back up while he's personning the booth. We could hang out with them, or if you wanted to explore. . . "

Jennifer turned to Steve and Ted. "Do you want us to keep you company?"

Steve shook his head. "Go look around. I'm sure Harry has some Christmas shopping to do."

I mimed: puzzled.

"For your brothers? And maybe some of your most special friends from church."

The thought gave me the happies. "That's an excellent idea - you think I can get a 'Men of the Rodeo' calendar here?"

"And the chaps to go with it. Ted, if you want to go with them, I've got everything I need."

"No, no. I'll stay here." It could have been simply loyalty to his partner, but I had the feeling that Ted felt as uneasy as I had at being out by himself.

"Okay, then we'll meet you back here. Give us a call if you want to take a break. We can come and hand out brochures for you." Jennifer offered. Steve nodded before turning his attention to an older man who had some questions about the program.

Jennifer and I headed down the tent line. We shopped, and snacked and giggled, and got temporary face tattoos - which led to a lot more giggling - and managed not to blush or disclaim when the palm reader told us we made a beautiful couple. It felt disconnected from all the suffering of the recent past, and yet this was what felt real and true. That was like a nightmare fading in the morning sun. A small part of me knew that the feeling of being perfectly in the present wouldn't last, but I draped a scarf over the canary's cage and bought a froth of cotton candy.

"Ugh. Harry, how can you eat that stuff? I feel sick just looking at you."

"It is pretty disgusting, really. I think I like the idea of cotton candy more than the actual taste." Notwithstanding that, like a goldfish in a pond, I snapped at a strand wafting in the breeze. When that had melted, I noticed that Jennifer did look more unwell than could be explained by sympathy nausea from my food choices.

"Hey, are you okay? You're looking a little green there. Do you think you're coming down with something?"

"No, I'm fine. Just female stuff."

"Oh." Our ramblings had brought us back towards the park entrance near our office. "Do you want to go across the street? We could use the bathroom at work, instead of the plastic cubes that have been baking in the sun."

Jennifer looked at her watch. "What time were we supposed to meet Steve and Ted?"

"Noon is when Steve's shift is over. So, we've got plenty of time. But if you're not feeling well, I've got my car here. I could run you home."

"No, I'm fine. Yeah, while we're over on this side of the park we might as well go to the little lawyer's room."

I tossed the remains of my cotton candy in a trash receptacle and we headed across the street and into a world of marble lobbies and expensive solutions to life's problems.

Maybe it was getting out of the sun, but Jennifer did look like she was feeling better. We made a stop in the restroom and then, out of some sort of professional compulsion, stopped by each of our offices to check that there was nothing that needed our attention. We stayed together to provide mutual support against the temptation to 'just answer this one email' and in a few minutes we were heading back towards the park.

"It's amazing to see so many families with children."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "I guess I'm still betwixt and between culturally, because for me it still seems weird to see adult couples who aren't surrounded by a pack of brats."

"You don't like kids?"

I pursed up my mouth in thought. "Babies, well, of course I love babies. I just want to pick 'em up and snuggle with them. When they get older, . . . it's like people generally, I guess. Some are great - there were some kids I used to babysit for extra spending money in college. I would have walked through fire for those kids. Then others are like the creepy, boring smelly guy who sits next to you on a long bus trip. The fact of them being kids doesn't make them any more likable. And, I may be a little disenchanted with them generally because I'm still reacting to that culture where children are an obligation and a status symbol all in one. You're not trusting God if you do anything, even just deliberately not having sex at certain times, to space 'em out or hold off on starting a family until there's actually some money to support that family. And if you don't have lots of kids, well, nobody comes right out and says God is punishing you. But, everyone makes such a big deal of children being a blessing and if you don't have any, or, almost worse, just one or two. . . well, everybody knows you got coal in your stocking."

"That's sad."

"It was. It is. And the worst of it was, not just that I let myself get sucked into it, but I even remember talking to some of the older girls, telling them, 'look at me, I had a successful worldly career, but I gave it up to have what women really want: a husband and a family.' All I can hope is that some of them will look at the manner of my leaving and take my words with a huge block of salt."

"Do you think you'll ever want a kid, now?"

"No! . . . Wow, that came out stronger than I meant. The thing is I just can't imagine myself committing to a long-term relationship any time in the next, oh, I'd say twenty years at least.

"Earth to Harry, it is possible to have a baby even if you're not married, you know."

"As thousands of high schoolers prove every year. Sorry, I don't mean to be snarky. Of course, it's true. I'm not hung up on the marriage thing. I doubt more than a small fraction of the gay and lesbian couples here are married, and even if they are, the marriage isn't legal in this state, and yet I see a much larger group with kids in tow. I know plenty of people who are in committed, long-term relationships, but aren't married and have kids. It's not the marriage certificate that's important - it's having two people who are at least going to try to stay together to raise the child to adulthood."

"So, you think it's bad to be a single parent." Jennifer's tone had an irritated quality I couldn't understand. Maybe she's still felling a little mrrhh.

"I don't think it's bad. I think it's hard. My sister-in-law was sick after her youngest was born and she had to go back in the hospital for a few days. The older kids went to stay at their grandmother's house, but I volunteered to stay at home with the baby. My god, Jennifer, I had him from around seven in the morning until Edward got home from visiting at the hospital, usually around eight at night. It was a nightmare. It was like I never had a moment to myself. Every time I'd turn around to go do the laundry, or cook some meals to leave for Edward it seemed like the kid was crying again. And I wasn't run down from being pregnant and having given birth. I honestly don't know how moms who don't have a support staff do it. Even though he's not much use, I at least got to hand the baby off to Edward every night. The thought of being responsible for something that's so helpless, and so demanding about it, and then having to work, too. . . I know women do it, but I don't know how. So, no, it's not something I'd ever want."

"Well, at least you're honest about it."

That struck me as a strange response, but, before I could follow up, Jennifer pointed out a marriage equality booth. "Do you want to go over and sign their petition?" She asked.

"Sure, let's."

We went over and signed the petition to have a marriage equality bill introduced in the current legislative session and made donations to fund the fight. When I snorted, Jennifer looked a question.

"I was just thinking of whether you could count that as a professional expense."

"How so?"

"Well, you're a divorce attorney - increase the number of marriages, statistically the number of divorces has to go up, too."

"Way to be positive about the initiative, Harry."

"I am positive. I'd be thrilled to be able to go to Steve and Ted's wedding. Think of it - twice as many grooms to dance with. But I don't think same sex marriages are going to have fewer stresses than straight marriages. . . although at least they won't have the toilet seat wars."

Jennifer gave me a sideways grin. It seemed she was over whatever had been bugging her before. The woman collecting signatures didn't seem quite so pleased at my pragmatic analysis, but, at the end of the day she'd gotten two more names on her petition and two decent donations to the cause, so she clearly wasn't going to object to my jaundiced attititude towards the blessed state of holy matrimony.

"At the Fair 1" *************************************************************************************"At the Fair 3"