Delusions Arent of Mine

(please read my other poem, since when? for  the reason for this to make sense)

Now i watch my days past
memories haunting me
but this time

I have my bottle
I have my eighth
I have my pills
I have my cough syrup

When these thoughts you caused rape my mind
I grab my bottle,eighth,pills or syrup

Its bad, I'm no fool
I been raised the best my parents could
They're tools

I use them to force these thoughts far away
I'm no fool,
This I know,
Is bad

I sought real help
I sought the lords hand
I sought it out the right way
I fought it out the right way
I lost the wrong battle
Now I'll pay

This is bad,
I'm no fool,
But they're tools

They make me smile
They rot my body every day
They make me laugh

They make me stupid
They make me forget
They make me die a lil bit
And yes,
That's it


This is bad
I'm no fool,
But they're my tools

I know you read this and you say stupid
I know you think,
I know I'm stupid
I know I don't care

This is bad
I'm no fool,
But they're my tools

I'll use them,
I'll probably abuse them
Then I'll reuse them

This is bad,
I'm no fool,
But they're my tools

I'm no fool
These are my tools

No grandeur eludes me
I know
The problems will remain

But I seek an escape
If just for an hour
Or four

I know have used these tools
I know have abused these tools
These tools given to me by fools

The promise of happiness in their minds
That's more than I know to say
I just play their game today

Its the tools,
The tools,
The tools I'll get for playing their game

This grandeur they promise
I know ain't real
I just know they cant feel the real

I've used my tools
Now I'll go to sleep
I feel sick

Toss and turn
My back is where the roll of a dye  places me
Contractions occur

I'm no fool,
I know the rules
And these consequences

I knew them,
I accept them
I'm no fool

And i lie in my own pool
There'll be no more thoughts
For me

I know
I'm no fool
And this is the rule of the tool