Book Proposal / Chapter 1

TITLES

Generation Douche

King of the Losers.



The apathetic ________ of the 21st century 20-something.





A book basically chronicling my mediocre adventures, including my attempts at making money off of writing about them.



Chapter 1 - A Suitable Introduction.



         Somewhere in the past; a 24 year old unemployed alcoholic that would like to fancy himself a writer, sits alone in his father's house writing this very sentence.  There's a broken marijuana pipe beside his keyboard, which is next to an ashtray full of cigarette butts which have had every last ounce of tobacco squeezed out of them and re-rolled into "Nicotine Joints".  Beer bottle caps dot the carpet here & there, occasionally covering up the burn marks that this lifestyle naturally generates.  And the kicker is:  You're gonna read this guys book (and it's gonna' be really good).

         My history is not very unique, the worlds full of mid-20something dropouts stuck in the apathetic doldrums of their own creation; but this particular example we're looking at is an interesting case study, for he has charged himself with the audacious task of turning his very lackluster existence into an interesting little discourse on what he has just decided to term "Generation Douche".  All things considered... I think speaking in the second person is totally appropriate.  Taking a "Filter Hit" off of one of his last butts, he embarks on his quest... Knowing that success is unlikely.

         "Generation Douche" describes the group of young men roughly my age, who have fallen through some form of "crack" in our post-grunge Paris Hilton sex tape society.  Inspiration for us is hard to come by because we were raised by ourselves and our peers to think that nihilism is an end in and of itself.  Well let me tell you... A decade after that fad faded away, many of us are still reeling from the "Fuck the World" philosophy that was "too cool" in tenth grade.  The disastrous effect of idealism on our lives has left actual dead bodies in it's wake, and when we look to our "Boomer" parents and elders and ask why, they simply say in effect, "I told you this when you were thirteen, you should have listened!"

         Generation D has played a large part in the economic slowdown that was the news story at the time that this book was being written (not that I predict we'll be out of it by the time you're reading this, I've just begun this essay in such a way that I'm forced to resort to very odd tenses to convey the message).  You have a whole decade of people who pride themselves on "Not giving a shit", yet are disillusioned with their job at McDonald's.  Not only do we have the gall to think that we're entitled... We actually write books on the subject from time to time!  Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to speak for my fellow losers:

Pack yourself up a bong-load and prepare to be amazed, because the very King of Douche himself is stepping up to the podium.



Chapter 2 - How I became King.

(Here I go over the events of cabo, defend the name fagerson etc.)



Chapter ? -  The Art of Alienation

(Here I cover Brandy, christian, and my ways with women in general)

         



© Jeorg Talbert 2009