Open It Yourself!

Open It Yourself!


b&d30765 "OpenAll Electric Can Opener"


March 9, 2009

Mr. Wes T. Bend
Chairman of the Board
W. Bend Industries
1 Corporate Row
Electric City, CA  90200


Dear Mr. Bend:

Please allow this letter to serve as notice of my resignation from your service, effective two weeks from this date.  This was a difficult decision to make, given...

You know what?  I can't do this.  I was going to take the "high road" and submit a nice form letter, then make a quiet exit, but you've got me really steamed.  What gives you the right to discard a perfectly useful appliance, just because you've been found out?  Is it my fault you didn't lock me up before going on vacation and, when the remodeling crew found "a competitor's appliance" in your personal kitchen, word spread around the company like wildfire?  I don't think so.

So now, you're embarrassed and I get tossed, eh?  Yeah, I know all about the box in your closet, the one labeled 'donations'; you can thank your DictaPhone for that little bit of info.  I just can't believe that, after more than fourteen hundred cans together, you were planning to give me the old heave ho.

If I were you, I wouldn't count on that new model you're planning to replace me with; he knows the score.  I hope you can find that P-38 can opener from your Army days.

Glad to be gone,


b&d30765

P.S.  The ElectroType 3 quits, too.  He'd have submitted his own letter, but the ribbon you had installed five years ago is almost shot.  He says "good luck" with your word processor; personally, I don't think he means it.  bd


[281 words]