Motivating Your Spouse to GetOut of Debt

It hasn’t been easy. The questions of what do I say? What do I not say?, arises. And then one day after months, possibly years of ‘doing it their way’ it hits you that they have no idea what they are doing. That, and the only way you are going to get out of debt is if you take charge of the situation, the bank card and all of the money. That’s right, you are now an accountant for your family.
I live in a camper. It’s a bigger camper than the one we were living in. My very close friends Darcie and Tim loaned it to me and my husband. 
In two weeks, we will have a baby, if the baby comes on time.
Since August of last year, we have been doing things ‘his’ way, financially speaking. It has wound us up in the back yard of his grandparents, right next to his parents, where they too live in a camper, a fifth wheel, and are content with it. Although my husband says he’s not content living here, I see very little enthusiasm in him looking to get out. I imagine someone wanting to get out as like a prisoner of war thinking of every possible getaway, this has not been the case. I love my husband, don’t get me wrong. He and I are opposite in some things and that’s okay because where one of us lacks, the other picks up the weight. He’s there for me in ways I can’t even describe, but right now, we’re talking about finances.
Yes, we live in a camper. We shower and wash clothes at his grandmothers. This would be a free loaders paradise. Oh, did I mention that the transmission in our van went out? It did. Then we had our taxes done and took the transmission and van to a mechanic and are awaiting the call that says “The transmission is in, come and get your van.”
I looked at our bank statement last month, we had spent almost $200 in eating out. This might not sound like a big deal but when you live in a camper in the back yard with your family and the cell phone bill gets behind and you have to borrow money for gas from your wife’s parents, the two hundred bucks is going to waste.
With that being said…here is our game plan, I came up with it tonight.
Okay, so the baby is coming and there’s no stopping that. I’m excited about being a mother and all, but we’ll skip the mom talk for now because that’s not what we’re here to talk about.
Moving along, here’s the plan. You ready?
Okay, so here’s what it looks like. Before my husband and I were married, I was working long hours and making really good money and had begun paying off old debt. I was in the hole somewhere around 75,000 I thought. I’d get my paycheck, pay my bills, and then go to my list I had pinned to the wall and check in order the bills I had to pay from the least amount to the greatest amount. The small bills got paid first. This gave me the boost I needed to keep it coming. Getting a letter that says BALANCE ZERO or a receipt that says “Thank you for your payoff” or “Paid in Full” is quite exuberating.
What happened? I got married, stopped working, went to school full time, putting my selfish desires of wanting to get out of debt and just living in la la land. I got pregnant, I WAS trying. It’s going to be a boy, we both wanted a boy, he’ll be our first child.
My husband, through some not so good decisions, got his hours cut  at his job, and then left all together. That’s when we moved to the back yard. It was a bitter adjustment for me, but I wanted to do the right thing and listen to my husband. I will admit this though, this entire experience thus far has defiantly brought us closer together and I don’t see how it could have happened any other way. We rushed into marriage, completely unprepared. We didn’t kiss until we eloped and said I do, which is not my style, but he claims to have been in love with me since high school and didn’t even have a girlfriend, due to his love for me, which his entire family and friends knew about, but no one told me. He waited for me, entirely in every way. I’ve never met anyone like that, I HAD to marry him. He made me feel loved. Feelings don’t pay the rent, back to the main topic.
Oh, he got laid off from his job last month too. So here we are, both jobless and van-less at the moment.
With some research, I have found this public transportation unit called ICATS. It’s only a dollar every time you get on. So to and from work is only two bucks, that’s not bad.
My plan is this, after the baby-which by the way, will be raised by myself and my husband, not our in-laws or daycare unit or some stranger online or in the paper-after the baby is born, I already have my resume typed out and ready to be sent. I will find something pretty that fits, something professional and begin dropping off applications. I have a sporadic work history, so I went to the library and check out a few handy dandy books about resume writing, which now makes  my work history look quite extraordinary. My first job was fast food. A woman there told me “If you get a job in food, you’ll never go hungry.” Smart woman.
So after the baby, fill out applications, drop off resume. Then, I bug the employers by asking to speak with the manager. I call and visit until they decide to hire me. It works every time.
The trick will be finding a job around my husband. If I get a job before he does and then he gets hired, I may have to change my hours, but we’ll cross that bridge when it gets here by weighing out the options. Fast food is also flexible. Do I do management or stick with the regular crew? Hmm. This one is tricky. I could jump right in to management but with a husband an a  new baby I may want to keep it with fewer responsibilities for now, until I get completely broken in as a mommy. I would be upset with myself if I jumped in and got burnt out so soon. Okay, so part time or even full time but not a manager for now it is. Maybe a shift leader, but not a manager yet. If I get on somewhere in the early morning, I can get up early and finish work early, leaving the rest of the day for baby and responsibilities.
As for the money, this is what I think. If God allows me to have a job, then it only makes sense that I give him tithe and offering from the job he provides, I know not everyone thinks that way, but part of my income will go that way. Next, I also believe that the man is suppose to provide for the family, pay the bills, bring home the bacon, all of the current husband duties. Genesis 3:19 says In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
So, I work, my husband works, we rotate the schedule to make it work for us and baby. All of his money goes towards our groceries, diapers, baby food, gas, electricity, phone, van payments, van insurance, and any other home needs. All of my money, after tithe and offering, goes toward past debt. Being that I have better credit, my bills get paid off first. If we stick to this, all of my debt should be paid off in a matter of two years I believe. That will put me in the free and clear to be able to have a first time loan for a house, if the opportunity arises. Our child will be two and our credit will look better. After the van is paid off, the extra money from those payments will go towards renting an apartment. Staying in the camper is nice, but babies do crawl and where will he crawl if there is no room to crawl? The van should be paid off by this July and we are hoping that public housing can help us in the next four to nine months.
Another two years of me working and hubby working and sticking to the plan, the hours and money from my job should be enough to pay off his debt. Our credit won’t be clear, but at least we will have our bills paid off and we can begin the seven years it takes to clean up the credit. By that time, our son will be eleven, which isn’t so bad considering the circumstances.
My hubby is also taking some online classes, if we can find my 2007 taxes this week. He’s going into game design. He enjoys video games so I put two and two together and encouraged him to take up that profession. His degree will take 3-4years, which is the time I will be working, after that, it’s home school time. I may even take some classes myself to try to finish up my two year degree. Wouldn’t that be neat?  You have to know where we’re coming from…I grew up dirt poor, can you say ’trailer trash?’ And when I say dirt poor I mean that there were times when we didn’t have food, or electricity, and one month, my brother and I dusted the ants off of the turkey, just so we could eat what tiny little meat was left on the bone. My husband grew up in a family that constantly put him down. So yes, it would be very exciting if we both ‘graduated form college.’ I want our son to not have to go through irresponsible parenting. I also want him to know the meaning of hard work. If he knows how to take care of himself early on, it won’t be so hard for him when he is older. I’m already getting the ground ready for taking him to farms and places like habitat for humanity so that he can learn every skill and trade that he can. I want him to earn his treats, not have them handed to him. I can’t stand laziness. Stupidity happens, but laziness can be avoided.
So, that’s my plan. My financial map.
I work, he works, we work around and do what we can to make it work. He pays the bills, I pay off the debt. We’re going to get out of this camper, and we’re doing it the right way, the hard way, the way that involves working and sacrifice, just like life was meant to be.