duct tape fixes everything.

My skin is not thick.
My heart's not strong ... well at least not like it used to be.
Its wearing thin, I'm breaking down.
Every lie, every broken promise- peeling away the layers. Every disappointment leaving me weaker.
Every time recovering less... turning what was once useful into scar tissue.
My heart growing smaller, my soul growing sadder.

You see, once something's broken you can only piece it together so many times, with hopeful and temporary adhesive disguised as love... you can only piece it together so many times before there are too many gaps, holes, and cracks for it to even be recognizable as what it's supposed to be.
It breaks, you lose fragments where they hide... crevices steal them away, they live under the rug or behind the refrigerator for eternity- never to be a part of the object they once were.
The object is only cherished out of pity, lucky not to be tossed aside only when someone feels too sorry...
Only kept out of guilt, but never really cared for.

Feeling less and less hopeful as time passes... collecting dust in a corner, tucked away behind all the good stuff, new and interesting gadgets.
Less capacity to trust that it is valued.

This is my fear.
I feel that I'm growing colder, I hate the feeling of losing the warmth and passion that I love.
I hate that I can feel it leaving me with every disappointment.

I need something exciting.
Someone needs to recognize how valuable I really am... that there is a lot of good left in me.
Something redeeming needs to happen.
I need a glimpse of happiness before I lose it altogether.