Wild Blue Yonder

Wild Blue Yonder



The mind is a beautiful thing to waste.
Why then is my past being erased?
Is there some sort of deeper meaning?
How to judge a person without reason?

I remember yesterday, bits and pieces;
feel time running out on this life He leases.

I stand at the fence. Why I do not know.
What I was feeling I wish I could show.
I reflect on memory of who I used to be;
It seems so distant now and hard to see.
A decent person, warm, kind, full of giving;
to cold and bitter leading a life not worth living.

More and more I feel so lost and alone;
never leave the house yet so far from home.
Days relentlessly come and they go,
my memories, with this breeze they blow.
When will they stop, the thought I seriously ponder,
until it too is swept away into the wild blue yonder.

They pass on but I remain,
broken soul and scattered brain.
I wish for death often but it is elusive.
My family protests and I find it intrusive.

The disease or I must pass, I pray,
unfailingly I open my eyes to suffer another day.
Is this punishment for some past deed?
Enlighten me and I will gladly concede.
Don't take into account how I've acted as of late,
haven't been myself as you know, so full of hate.
Lord of mercy please show me your grace,
take this away and give me death in it's place.

I know nothing but erroneous concern.
So if there is a lesson it's certainly not being learned.
My mind plays tricks on me. I am so scared.
My grandson's room; a stranger lives there.
Father, I beg you while I'm somewhat at my wits.
Answer me swiftly, I'll be gone again in a bit.

In loving memory of Sarah Eloise Rogers, my grandmother, mentor, friend and a truly amazing woman. She raised me from an early age on the idea that I could do anything that I set my mind to. She believed this and in me so strongly that I couldn't help but follow suit.

She was a wise and selfless person with a good sense of humor. I could not have asked for anyone better. She was kind but would quickly bare teeth if she thought that somebody was messing with me, even once I was an adult. She may look harmless in the above photo but I assure you those "teeth" could be scary.

As long as she was alive I had the incredible comfort of knowing without a doubt, no matter what, somebody was enthusiastically on my side. It's the kind of thing that you appreciate greatly but can only truly grasp its actual worth once it's gone. She was way more than I deserved. This ugly disease took much from her and from us but that is fleeting; the unconditional love and devotion that she showed to me will live on forever in my heart.