A Christmas Christening

The snow was whipping and cutting at my face as if it were thousands of tiny glass shards. The winter wind cut into my body like a cold steely blade, and each gust sent me breatheless. By the time I got into the building, I was numb with cold and wet with snow. At least it was nice and warm in this building. I walked up to a pew, and I knelt down. Saying the usual bout of prayers, I prayed that my children would remember my face. I finished my prayers with the Our Father prayer and sat down. Looking to the ancient-looking crucifix hanging on the alter, I felt myself becoming drowsy. Soon my eyes shut and I fell into a peaceful sleep.

I awoke a few minutes later to the firm grip of a hand on my shoulder. It was Susan's hand. I looked up and recognized her familiar face. She had her same smokey red lipstick on, and her eyes were rimmed with the usual harsh mascara. She must have got some colored contacts, as I do not remember her eyes being that blue. I stood up to let her and the children sit on the pew, and I hugged my two daughters as I stood up. Their hugs were cold and meaningless, and I then realized that I meant nothing to these girls. Sarah and Michelle were very young when Susan and I had divorced. Being that I traveled the world as a journalist, the judge granted my ex-wife full custody of the girls. I was only allowed to visit them during the holidays.

A few minutes had passed, and the mass began. The usual christmas carols rang through the air as the ceremony took place. The priest was a short stubby man, with a shiny bald head. His skin was leathery and weathered, and his voice was velvety and flowing. When he got up to bless the bread and wine, I found myself staring at the large crucifix above the altar again. This church brought back so many happy memories. Susan and I had gotten married in it. We were so blessed and happy back then, and there was no doubt that we were in love. Yet, it seams that work was the main factor that tore our marriage apart. My job demanded me to spend time away from my family. Me being months away from home left a longing in Susan, and she found another man to get rid of her loneliness.

I felt a sigh escape my lips as I reminisced about the seemingly ancient past. My life was devoted to my job now, and I was somewhat okay with that. I turned to look at Susan and the girls, and they were both absorbing the Christmas mass. The girls were so beautiful. Sarah was wearing a powder pink dress with a bright red bow in her long golden hair. She was only six years old, but she looked so grown up. I then looked at Michelle. My precious four year old was only one when I got the divorce, and she probably didn't know who I was at all. I looked up and tried to follow the rest of the mass. Minutes passed and the priest was soon walking out of the church with the congregation following jubilantly.

I walked with my family outside, and as we walked into the blistering cold, a man's voice rang out, "Hey my girls! How was church?" I looked to the girls as they ran forward and hugged the man. Sarah spoke softly, "Dad! I missed you. Church was so great." My heart broke the second my daughter called that stranger man her father. Tears rang out of my eyes, and I turned away in shame. As soon as the sadness and despair began to part my soul, rage and anger came from my chest. How could my family just replace me? I swiftly said my goodbyes as I walked out of the area.

Upon entering my car, I sped towards my apartment. I walked to my apartment with a cloud of anger hovering over my body. I felt so uncontrollably angry, and I wanted to just destroy something. I grabbed the closest thing to me and threw it onto the ground with great anguish. The item I had chosen was a wooden crucifix, and the crucifix flew onto the floor with a loud thumping noise. The wooden Jesus came undone from the crucifix. I left it on the ground and walked to my medicine cabinet. Looking through the various pills and soaps in the cabinet, I soon found a bottle of valium. Taking three of the pills, I undressed and went to bed. The medicine soon put me into a deep undisturbed sleep, and then I died.

At first I felt as if I was in nothingness. It was infinite black space, and the only thing I could hear was a distant rhythmic beating. The beating became faint and stuttered, then it stopped completely. The second the beating had stopped, I saw a small ray of orange light zoom across the infinite nothing. Underneath the ray of light, lay a wake of green grass and yellow sunflowers. Several more rays of light shot out across the nothingness, and soon the nothing was something. Several seconds passed, and I was now standing in a beautiful field of sunflowers, watching the morning sunrise. A gentle breeze was blowing through the fields, and I guessed that it was early spring. Looking upward, I noticed a small glinting object in the sky. It was falling to the ground at a slower than possible speed. The object happened to be a golden hourglass, and I watched as the sand was slowly sifting to the bottom, one grain at a time. I redirected my gaze to the beautiful lands, and I then noticed that a forest was bursting to life nearby. Trees were shooting out the ground leaving thick clouds of dust bellowing into the sky. Then all of a sudden a thunderstorm appeared over the land. Huge streaks of lightening soared out of the sky and hit the forest precisely. It looked as if the thunderstorm wanted to punish the forest and only the forest. As quick as the storm had begun, it vanished. I then noticed two humans walk out of the forest. They walked towards me, and I felt great anticipation for their arrival. But the seconds before the two could arrive to me, a burst of light exploded all around me. I was then thrust into a new place, a more civilized place. There were mud buildings everywhere, and several people were farming. The only familiarity I had to this land was the golden hourglass. The tiny globules of sand were moving at an alarming rate. The hourglass was controlling the time. Staring at the changing landscapes, civilizations, and people, I became very tired. I soon felt into a fitful sleep.

I woke up to a great bright light. It was glaring straight into my eyes, and my eyes watered at the intensity. I looked to up to find the source of the light, and I saw one very large star. The star seemed to be focusing all of its light onto me. I was awe-struck that such a powerful and majestic star would give its light to me, but then I heard a ruffling behind me. Looking for the sound of the noise, I noticed a small stable was the true target for the star's light. The familiar Christmas card snap shop of the Christ's birth was present right in front of me. Baby Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, along with the wise kings and farm animals, were all standing right in front of me. I felt a great bout of astonishment when I finally recognized this. Then the nativity scene fast forwarded like all of the other instances in this new world. Soon the world was morphing in front of my eyes again, but this time the hour glass started vibrating. I looked closely at the small shivering object, and noticed a hand suddenly shoot from the ground. The hand grabbed onto the hourglass, and I jumped back in fear. A man's body soon climbed out of the ground and began to walk away with the hourglass in hand. I was perplexed as to what to do, and I then knew I had to follow him.

The entire journey was strange, not only because I was chasing a sand man. People all around me were moving at alarming speeds, and buildings were shooting up as fast as lightening. I was amazed by all of this, and I thoroughly enjoyed the walk through this world. The sand man stopped suddenly and sat down. All of a sudden time returned to normal again, and the man before me started to deteriorate before my eyes. The sand man had once again turned back into sand, and he left the hourglass placed on the ground. I looked around and tried to find out where I was, but then I noticed a large parade coming my way. I was wondering what great show I was about to witness, but then I saw him again. Jesus Christ was walking right before me, and he was in great pain. I knew instantly that he was getting crucified, and I felt the tears swimming in my eyes. A burst of anger swelled in my chest, and I ran forward to grab the cross from his back. The second I reached the holy man, the scene fast forwarded again. It seams as though I was not allowed to alter history at all. I looked up on the hilltop and watched the horrendous event take place. I sat on a rock and cried as I watched my lord and savior die on that wooden cross.

Another explosion of time followed the death of Jesus. I half-expected the next time slowdown to be for the resurrection of Christ, but the event sped by like the rest. Soon the world moved faster than ever, and I found myself dizzied by the development of civilization. I walked around aimlessly for hundreds of miles until I stopped to rest in a small stone house. I fell asleep that night with an undeniable longing for home. I woke the next morning to the sound of missiles and bombs. I peeked out of the small stone hut to find a huge tanker feet from my hiding spot. I instantly recognized the event as the war on Iraq. I felt a flush of nostalgia, and I knew what I had to do. I rushed forward to one of the soldiers and climbed into his vehicle. Time sped by and I just sat there in that vehicle until I was in front of a large green plane. The men loaded the vehicle onto the plane, and I was instantly elated that I was finally going to go home.

This whole time acceleration thing was awesome for plane flights. It was only a matter of minutes before I was landing safely on American soil. I rushed out of the plane and checked a news stand. I grabbed the first newspaper I could grab and checked the date. It was my wedding date, and I knew I had to be brought to this date for a reason. I looked around and noticed that time had stilled once more, and the course of the universe rolled at its normal and systematic speed. I grabbed the hourglass and found another flight that led me home to New York City. I walked out of the airport to a nice spring New York day. It was quite beautiful, and I remembered it fondly as the perfect wedding day. I rushed to the church via a tour bus, and ran into the building. I sat into a pew closer to the back and watched the procession. I was looking nervous as hell when I saw Susan walking down the aisle. She looked so beautiful with her wedding dress on, and I felt my eyes prickling with tears. Even though time was running its normal course, the ceremony seemed to fly by quickly. As soon as the priest walked out of the church, time started accelerating again. I had a hunch as to where the next time stop was going to be, and I was right.

Time started to slow and the day revealed itself to be a quite gloomy one. This was the day my marriage with Susan ended with the signing of the paper. As soon as the recognition had hit me, I saw Susan and me walk to the priest's office. We walked into the room, and I followed in their footsteps. When I got closer to the couple, I noticed how time and pain had etched lines all across Susan's face. Had I done this to her? The answer was obviously, and I willed time to speed up once more. Mercifully, time had complied to my wish. As time sped by, I realized I had two distinct choices. I could follow my own footsteps or I could follow Susan's and experience the life I left behind. I decided I wanted to spend more time with the girls.

The next few moments were extremely beautiful. I was able to see the magnificent first steps of Hannah. I got to see birthdays I was never able to attend. I got to see first days at daycare, and I got to see wonderful days in the park. I was absorbing every moment of this wonderful scene, but a dark thought kept popping into my head. I could have been able to experience this first hand, but I chose work instead. Sure, I kept the family in a nice house, but I could not give Sarah a slice of cake on her third birthday or give Hannah a huge hug when she fell off her bike when she was four. Before I knew it, I found myself in the familiar church once more.

It was Christmas again, and I knew I was about to die. The eerily familiar church scene passed before my eyes. I watched myself hug my two girls, and we the church soon began. When the priest walked out of the church, I watched as the other me saw Susan's boyfriend for the first time. I followed myself back home, and I watched as I took those wretched pills. As I walked out of the kitchen, escaping my dead body, I noticed the wooden cross on the ground. Given my newfound experience with Jesus, I picked up the pieces of the crucifix with great reverence. I placed the piece back on the table, and took the hourglass out of my pocket. I noticed then that there were only two or three particles of sand left in the glass. I gulped and watched as the last seconds of my life passed by.

When the last particles sifted through the hour glass, a great light came from the crucifix. The crucifix grew larger and larger until it was life sized. The hourglass exploded in my hand and the sand and glass filled the sky like thousands of twinkling stars. The room then blacked out and the glass shards and sand particles grew brighter and brighter. Soon I was in space, floating through a universe of weightlessness. I looked forward at the crucifix and noticed Jesus Christ step off of the wooden cross. He stood straight before me, and I instantly bowed. As I lay prostrate on the ground, the magnificent man ushered me to stand. His bright golden eyes were standing straight across from me, and I felt home at last. Then I noticed that his lips were moving as if to talk, but instead of a voice, there was a sensational sound of thousands of voices. These voices all came from this one man's words. The voices spoke, "My child, you have roughed a long journey. You have seen the universe from its conception to your demise. You have watched my suffering, just as you have watched your own suffering. As I have carried my cross, you have carried yours. But, unlike myself, you shall have help carrying your cross. My child, you have been in the Lord's graces, and you shall have a second chance."

With that he disappeared, and I was alone with the stars, which were not twinkling uncontrollably. The stars suddenly shot out towards my hand. The pain was great, and I felt my feet buckle with pain. More and more stars shot out and pierced my hand. In each one of the glass stars, I could see a reflection. In the reflections were events of great pain in my life. On one star was my divorce, another star held the memory of my first family death. A large star held the reflection of the absence of my children. Soon enough my hand was pierced with thousands of glass shards. My hand was bleeding a lot, and I knew I needed help. I yelled out into the nothingness by yelling, "Lord, I need help!" With that, the glass shards began forming a figure in my hand, and before I could realize it, the hourglass had returned. The hourglass was void of sand, and I wondered how to use the artifact. The second the question flitted my mind, I looked up as a bolt of lightening shot through my body. Another bolt of lightening shot through my body. Images of the paradise being peppered with electricity came running through my mind.

One last blast of lightening hit my body, and I was left with a wake of blinding light. I tried to squint my eyes, but the afterimage left my eyesight white. I batted my eyes, and I soon found myself on a hospital bed. A doctor had a defibrillator in his hands, and I knew I was alive once again. The doctor walked to a woman and spoke softly, "Well, I'll leave him to you for a while. I'll be back in twenty minutes to check to make sure all trace of the pills are gone." The doctor left the room and the woman, who I recognized as my wife, walked closer to my bed. She spoke harshly at me, "What in the hell were you thinking? You know you cannot take that many pills. Oh, and your daughters are worried sick about you. You might not know it, but we still care about you."

That was all the push I needed. I grabbed Susan's hand with great effort. I looked into her deep blue eyes and spoke, "Susan, I am a fool. I am the biggest fool in the world. I had everything in the world, a family, and I gave it up for my job. I never realized how much I needed you guys, I need you guys! I don't want to be apart from you or the girl's ever again."

The words came falling from my mouth like water from a waterfall, and I was hoping Susan would at least respond. The only thing she did was hug me in a loving embrace and whispered, "You don't have to be apart. Not any longer."