Modern Day Pushers

Listen up quick -
Hurry along
Are you feeling okay?
Is there something wrong?

Do you have swollen feet?
Or maybe the flu?
Well, no sweat my dear -
We have something for you!

Does your big toe feel sore?
Does your neck have a crick?
Then take this blue pill -
It'll surely do the trick!

Do you sometimes feel sad?
And worry a lot too?
I have some good news -
This red pill will do!

Do you have paranoia?
Or suffer with regret?
This green pill will help,
So there's no need to fret!

Do you have trouble sleeping?
Or staying awake?
Then I believe this yellow one,
Is the one you should take!

Do you wish all the pain -
Would just go away?
Then take two of these white pills,
Three times a day!

Do you find yourself stressed -
With deadlines to meet?
With two of these orange ones,
You won't miss a beat!

Are there too many colors?
Does it boggle your mind?
Well then here is an organizer,
So they're easy to find!

Do these pills make you sick?
Is there blood in your pee?
Well lucky for you -
You can get surgery!

(If your insurance covers it of course!)